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Ashamed to be a gamer...
kintaeb | 8:30 PM on 03.26.2008 11 comments


I want to preface this by saying that I love the gaming community as a whole...or rather the idea of the gaming community. I have no problems with who I am, but rather I feel that the world does.

I have caught myself recently not completely confessing what it is I do with my free time to people that ask. I dance around the point, but never come out and completely say straight up, "I'm a gamer." I would qualify myself as a gamer as most of my free time is tied up with gaming websites, gaming communities or just playing games. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't do one of these things. But I seem to feel this is something that is to be looked down upon. I see the stigma the community gets in main stream and it makes me cringe.

Best example I can think of recently was when I was visiting the Engineering College at UK. The adviser asked what I did in my free time, I stumbled. I lead with "talking to people I know". This seems like a normal thing to do at that age, and its not a complete fabrication. I then finally went to "computers and playing games". It took me a good 15 seconds of stammering to decide to spit that out. This is an Engineering College, where people are known as nerds and not the most social people, why was I afraid to admit that I was a gamer at heart? I would have to say my main fear is that I will be painted as the people I see at my local game store. These people are one track minded, respond in awkward sentences and phrases, and have a laugh that makes me cringe. I'm not saying these people are bad people, or are dumb, but I feel that's how people perceive the "gamer".

I feel ashamed to be ashamed to be a gamer. But then I think back to many avid gamers I've known and they are all the stereotype. So is the general view of a gamer warranted or is it completely off? Should I stick it out and try to change people's perception of a gamer? How do I fight the urge to stay a closet hardcore gamer?



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11 comments | showing # 1 to 11

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mikeasux's Destructoid Blog
i feel your pain, sometimes.
Neonie's Destructoid Blog
I would have to say quite a few people have a problem with who I am.
Xelotath's Destructoid Blog
I used to be a bit like that but now I just don't care about this stuff, and I think the people you'll tell this to won't care that much. Hiding it from girls is also a bad idea because if you end up dating she'll notice it, haha. Also, hanging out at video games store = wtf, when I go there I buy my shit and gtfo. This is why we don't have arcades anymore, this was the cool place to hang out.
Tactix's Destructoid Blog
I understand your concern with how people perceive "gamers"...but I think you hit the nail on head with your second question.

Should I stick it out and try to change people's perception of a gamer?

I believe that people have this perception because as you (and I) have noticed, there are alot of those negatively perceived gamers around...but I do believe for every one of them there are an equal number of closeted hardcore gamers, afraid if carrying that tainted label...

Stick it out!! The only way we can get around this negative image is to show that gamers are in every facet of society, from the young to the old! I'm fighting this good fight along with you! :-D
kintaeb's Destructoid Blog
@Xelotath
I don't hang out at game stores, there is just generally a line at the stores around here so when I get caught behind the awkward gamers I tend to take notice.

@Tactix
Yeah, I know it is the best thing to do, and probably should do it, but you also run the risk of getting labeled as soon as people hear your interests. Even if you disprove a stereotype people don't see that sometimes.
kaptiank's Destructoid Blog
well when i say im a gamer, i stand up proud and then i say... but i also like to doodle.
youkilledmyguy's Destructoid Blog
I can understand your feelings on this issue. I work in bars which tends not to be an environment that houses a ton of gamers. I don't usually tell people I encounter at work that I'm one, but once I'm actually friends with people they find out and most of the time we play together.

I've never really understood the idea behind asking someone you meet what they do for fun. I usually just strike up conversations with people about what's going on around us and once we get to know each other things tend to come out.
Gangles's Destructoid Blog
I used to be ashamed of being a clost nerd (not just about gaming, sci fi, etc. too) too. I've come to embrace it with time, it's become part of my identity I suppose.
Unpro's Destructoid Blog
i felt the same with trading card games, but then i stopped playing them (expensive and kinda boring).

Best thing to do in my opinion is just tell people you are. You will get better results then waiting and either telling them later or letting people find out themselves.

I usually say "i like to play video games" vs "im a gamer" because i like to go outside as well. I doubt you are so absorbed that you won't go out with your friends to a movie now and then, or to dinner.

I work at a game store (the game section in Toys R Us, if you classify that as a game store), most of the people i see who buy games are relatively normal. My idea of a gamer is a person who enjoys gaming, but isnt obsessed. People who can't get enough of games and will actually say no when invited out to a dinner with friends are labelled as losers. Just the same as if it was another type of game, book, or any other hobby.
Knives's Destructoid Blog
I'm in the "Humanities" section of my University, for some reason that means that a lot of my classmates are anti-technology.

I usually tell when they ask me or if the subject is brought uo in a conversation, except for the occasions when I don't really want to get into an argument on how gaming isn't a waste of time.
LarkOhiya's Destructoid Blog
I'm fine with it except when speaking with certain older people. Its similar to how oldies didn't like or think rock music was good, but on an even bigger scale.


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