The details so far are a bit fuzzy, but I think it's clear we're talking the destruction of mankind as we know it. My sources tell me that you can choose you character's hair color, skin tone, accent, and level of cottage cheese thighs, among other things.

What's worse, players can CROSS-DRESS and dance on the elevator in front of Stormy Lightning City, or something like this; I don't have time to research what perverted gamer-speak translates to in wholesome English. Suffice it to say, I am outraged, and so should you be.

A new study out of the Communist University of Freakin' Communist Japan (they're commies, right?) shows that teens that have been exposed to cross-dressing animated characters are 100% more likely to have been exposed to cross-dressing animated characters at some point in their lives. More likely than whom, I don't know. Remember, I'm no researchist. I'm just a journalist. Don't get all facty-wacky on me.

Suffice it to say, you should avoid all contact with WoW, and burn any discs you happen to find lying around your kids' or their friends' houses. If you do not heed my advice, your child will one day end up... well, take a look:



This message brought to you by the demons in my head crying out for attention.

Note: Use of the term "facty-wacky" is heretofore disallowed without prior consent, obtainable by sending suitably large payment to myself. Your wallet has been pwnz0red.