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5:44 PM on 07.16.2008

ESPN's Patrick Hruby on Sports Video Games

I thoroughly enjoyed the article linked from the front page today on the shortcomings of video games, both now and over the years. It is a beautifully laid out set of complaints from the eyes of a details-oriented guy that has played all types of sports games. Many of the tweaks he asks for are things I have complained about or noticed in the past. Worth a read.   read

4:34 PM on 06.09.2008

Nintendo's Wii: Now Yours For Only $449.99!

No, I don't have a picture. But I went to the hospital in Portland, OR, today to have lunch with my fiancee and saw in the hospital gift shop a Wii for sale for the above low low price.

Does that offend anyone else? I know this type of thing isn't new, but I guess I was just shocked to see the rape-n-pillage take place in a hopsital gift shop.

Oddly enough (at least for me, a person fortunate enough not to have spent a significant amount of time in hospitals), the shop also sold televisions, panties (not used, that I could tell), perfume, and stale candy (our raison d'entree). The rest seemed reasonably priced.

Oh, and they had no less than six security cameras within 6 feet of the front door. The shop itself was barely 15' x 15'.   read

11:19 PM on 06.04.2008

We can all stop playing GH3 now.

I have owned Rock Band for almost two months now, and still haven't gotten over the fun of playing drums. My poor PS2 has been sitting idle that whole time, guitars lying on the ground collecting dust. Yesterday, a friend of mine pointed them out to me, and I began to feel sorry for them.

Then I saw this.

(thanks for the embed tip, MrSadistic)

Whelp, guess there's no reason to pick up the ol' GH axes ever again.

(Note: I did a quick search for a related post and didn't find one, so threw this up. Sorry if it's old news.)   read

2:07 AM on 02.14.2008

WoW = Mass Effect?? Uberhawt gay-tastic pornosex found!

The details so far are a bit fuzzy, but I think it's clear we're talking the destruction of mankind as we know it. My sources tell me that you can choose you character's hair color, skin tone, accent, and level of cottage cheese thighs, among other things.

What's worse, players can CROSS-DRESS and dance on the elevator in front of Stormy Lightning City, or something like this; I don't have time to research what perverted gamer-speak translates to in wholesome English. Suffice it to say, I am outraged, and so should you be.

A new study out of the Communist University of Freakin' Communist Japan (they're commies, right?) shows that teens that have been exposed to cross-dressing animated characters are 100% more likely to have been exposed to cross-dressing animated characters at some point in their lives. More likely than whom, I don't know. Remember, I'm no researchist. I'm just a journalist. Don't get all facty-wacky on me.

Suffice it to say, you should avoid all contact with WoW, and burn any discs you happen to find lying around your kids' or their friends' houses. If you do not heed my advice, your child will one day end up... well, take a look:

This message brought to you by the demons in my head crying out for attention.

Note: Use of the term "facty-wacky" is heretofore disallowed without prior consent, obtainable by sending suitably large payment to myself. Your wallet has been pwnz0red.   read

11:02 PM on 02.03.2008

Sports vs. Video Games: Why Must We Fight?

Hello, D'Toid (or at least the 3 of you bored enough to click on this link). I know none of you know who I am, as I am one who would likely to be referred to as a lurker. Suffice it to say I am not one who considers myself to be knowledgeable about games or the culture in any meaningful way, so you are not likely to see many more contributions from me in the future.

You're welcome.

That said, I went out to a friend's house today to watch The Giant Bowl of Patriot Soup 42. Upon returning home and switching on the 'Toid, I found at least three disparaging comments about said event on the front page. Some seemed joking, others did not. I laughed to myself at the attempt by another form of media to dismiss something that was clearly (if only temporarily) taking away a bit of its audience. Then I entered one of the posts and started combing through comments (this is generally how lurking works). It seemed there was something of a theme: No one likes football. We HATE football. It's offensive that you would suggest that someone in the country might CONSIDER liking football.

It was odd to me to see so many people tripping over each other to insult the sport. A couple people even said that they wouldn't even consider watching the game, except that they were from the Bah-ston area, and couldn't you PLEASE just this once forgive my indulgence? It's only that my favorite team is playing; otherwise I wouldn't DREAM of watching football except during the regular season and the playoffs. Once my team is out, my disdain will return in full, bestial vigor!

I considered making a smarmy post about it in the comments (the usual internet response) and smugly moving on. But I realized that:

A) This was a topic from which interesting discussion could come;

B) The post was up to 90 comments and about to leave the front page.

So why do you think that there is such a large anti-football backlash here in the gamers' corner of the 'net (or don't you)? And why is it that so many gamers here seem to think it gives them credibility to belittle the gridiron?

Part of the reason I find this discussion worth having is that our own pastime is currently under attack. We're being told every day by politicians, hack psychologists, frightened parents, and the moral elite that we are playing children's games (ones that are detrimental to children, no less). So does it seem hypocritical only to me that we in general would be so excited to tear down another form of entertainment?

In the interest of full disclosure, both sports and video games played large parts in my childhood (I'm sure I'm not alone in that regard). I've played organized sports non-stop since I was 7, including hockey, football, baseball, and softball. I've also owned 10 consoles and handhelds (starting with the NES), and am currently the guild leader of a supremely average WoW raiding guild. I do not hold sports or video games to be more important than the other, but often find myself being looked upon with scorn when I allow them to cross in either direction. Perhaps amusingly, I don't care much for sports video games. I'm not a fan of the micromanagement aspect of recent games; I'd rather my sports games be more arcade-like. If I wanted to worry about the finer aspects of a sport, I'd go play it.

I apologize for my wall-of-text format; I could not think of enough interesting pictures to add to this post, as I think it likely that I am the only one who will read it. Thank you to those that proved me wrong, and an extra helping of thanks to those that contribute.

*fades back into bolivion*   read

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