Dear Tomonobu Itagaki,

You're a fucking loser. While you may think it clever, funny, or hot to put huge double-F cups on all your female characters, it makes your games look retarded. I honestly believe you added Rachel to Ninja Gaiden solely so you could wank at virtual boobs during the development; playing with her seems more uninspired than your lame counter system for DOA.

By the way, could you please make the time between dying and restarting a little longer? I love to take half-hour breaks every time I die at a boss battle. Maybe you could bump it up a bit so I can finish some Michener I have laying around.

Thanks,

me.

(Ninja Gaiden Sigma - 8/10)

Let's begin. If you think Battlefield is the best thing to happen to the FPS since FPSs began (which I do), then Warhawk is a 9/10. Now on to the hate.

Hey, Ingog, thanks for including instructions with the PSN purchase. I found it really easy to find my buddies buried in sub-menus. Oh, I wanted to play a local 4 player match but the option wasn't listed anywhere. Hell, how would I even know it was split-screen if I hadn't read it online? Not like any of the SCE servers let you play split-screen anyway. Instead I'm forced to join spotty home-hosted games that end up pinging 1000 after five minutes of play and disconnect you after five and a half.

The favorite servers menu is pretty cool as an ornament, too. I love adding servers to it only to have them list as unavailable when they're clearly there on the regular server list.

I think next time maybe you want to make it even harder for people to pick up and play. Make it so only people who are completely ardent about video games can figure out. I really enjoy having to troubleshoot games for my non-gamer friends who I told to buy this.

thanks again,

Me.