From reading some of the comments posted on this site, and others similar to this site, I think I have FINALLY figured what a TRUE "hardcore" gamer is.A "Hardcore" gamer is NOT someone who plays any game and finds fun in it, OH NOOO.I've SEEN THE LIGHT!!!!!!! Here are the defining characteristics of a TRUE "Hardcore" gamer, from what I have gathered:
1.A "Hardcore" gamer will bash a game that hasn't been released yet if it doesn't meet his standards, despite not ever playing the game, or how incomplete it is.
2.A "Hardcore" gamer will bitch about not having a japanese language track in an anime based game,despite not speaking one word of japanese.
3.A "Hardcore" gamer needs his graphics to be as plasticine, brown and HD as humanly possible.He'll even go as far as count the muthafucking pixels to make sure his shit isn't some lowly upscaled shit.
4.A "Hardcore" gamer's video game console needs to be able to program games, play 20 seasons of Dragonball Z on one disk, split muthafucking atoms to cure cancer,display video resolutions from the year 2012,sound like a lawn mower, and weigh the amount of a healthy toddler.Playing video games is a nice extra too.
5.A "Hardcore" gamer needs extra copious amounts of First Person in his games.
6.A "Hardcore" gamer regularly goes into a blog about systems he doesn't own or has never even played, and shits on them, cause it's HARDCORE!!!Similarly, A "Hardcore" gamer writes 3,789,546,789,123,234,456 blogs about how bad Nintendo's press conference at E3 sucked, despite not even owning a Wii OR DS.
7.A "Hardcore" gamer will drink your milkshake if your TV doesn't take up at least 45% of your wall.
8.A "Hardcore" gamer lists every system he owns, what peripherals he has on the system, every game he owns, and what his systems are hooked up to in his profile.Like I REALLY give a fuck.
9.A "Hardcore" gamer will probably take all this shit personally, and flame me in the comments section.
So, in closing, I'd like to thank The Destructoid Community for saving my soul, and showing me what it means to be a TRUE "Hardcore" gamer.THANK YOU!!!!!
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kevkevblazini's blog
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I expect a shitstorm, lol.
A "hardcore" douche bag makes this blog!!!
Dephect:
A hit dog WILL holler dude.
9. A HARDCORE GAMER DOES NOT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THIS BLOG.
That sounds about right.
Welcome to Destructoid. We lobby criticism about our hobby in a way that is not sugar coated or forgiving.
You'll fit right in.
You guys remember back in high school where you had the punks who would constantly shit on each other for being "posers." This is exactly what this blog is like.
"What, dude? Naw, man. That shit ain't hardcore gamer. You're a poser, man."
Are you Sinbad?
My favorite part: "A hardcore gamers console needs to...split muthafucking atoms to cure cancer..."
Nice. Also, cocks.
Vexed Alex wins. So true.
Yeah, you pretty much are the Sinbad of Destructoid.
Mrsadistic:
Is that a good thing????I'm pretty sure it isn't, but I'm gonna act like it is anyway.
Number 6 describes a fanboy, as opposed to a hardcore gamer.
With Sinbad, it's always a good thing.
OK, let's see what's happening in this blog...................ok, just a fail blog, on to the next one...................oh, artificial beavers huh?.....................
I need to write stupid shit more often, apparently.
i like them.
LAWL@ the amount of feelings caught over this. MY BAD.
Hey, tell us the one about trying to drink a McDonald's milk shake.
SINBAD THE SAILOR................ MUTHAFUCKER
Fuck the comedian, you're a GODAMN PIRATE!!!
;) :)
ITS SINBAD TIME
I'm a PIRATE.
SWEET.
Yea, if by "pirate" you mean this:
*looks at first picture again*
Not to mention a possible rapist, WTF is going on in that pic??????????
Sinbad's role in the classic 1991 sports comedy Necessary Roughness garnered an Oscar nomination.
@Sadistic
O RLY?
I'm aight with looking like Sinbad. It's SINBAD.
I also didn't think nobody was gonna take any of this shit serious to the point I was gonna get called rapists and be sent crazy ass emails, but HEY WTF ever, LAWL. It's awesome, really.
Hey, STOP LAUGHING!!!! WE'RE TRYING TO CRUSH YOU!!!!
OHNOEZ, I'm Being picked on!!!!!!
Try harder RON.
Ignore Ron, what stupid fucks sent you emails???????????
I hope they dic weed fanboys.
Also, dude, ma comments AIN'T SERIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL, sorry if you thought that
here's a free monica belluci to make peace,
Mushman, I figured your comments were about as serious as this blog. 'Preciate the Monica Bellucci.
I approve of the boobs.
I was just kidding too man, here's something to make peace:
Don't even pretend that you don't love it.
LOL @ RON
I approve of the turtles.
First of, even though Monica Bellucci is hawt, that pic is super shooped. Watch her in movies or in real life, she has like ||||||||||||||||||| this many lines in her face.
Secondly KevKev, you are now my friend, because you speak gigantic mounds of truth. All the proof of troof needed is the crazy emails... which you should post so we can laugh at them.
Free, I'm seriously tempted to put some cats on blast......Like Megan Fox naked with a sushi bar in her asscrack in front of me right now tempted.
Ebonics.
I have the (current gen) systems i own in my blog. but that's more of a categorization of which games im actively playing.
i think the main trait of a "hardcore" gamer is that he thinks if someone disagrees w/ him that person is wrong. also happens to be the trait of fanboys.
lmao best blog post evar
slowclap.jpg
Don't need no sushi on that ass, just a post-it note with the words "open for business" on it.
I'd like to apologize to everyone who visited Whorelando because of this post.All Ho Cards pulled will be returned shortly.
So... Sinbad is the next longcat?
who is longcat
I thought this was funny.