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3:09 PM on 08.05.2008

Making Mega Man 9 even more Nostalgic

So after reading how you are going to be able to turn on old-school flicker and glitches in Mega Man 9 purely for nostalgic effect, I came up with some other things they should add to heighten the "Nostalgia Factor" some:

1.The game would make you sit through episodes of The Super Mario Bros.Super Show,Captain N, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles before you could play if you were to cut it on at 3:05.

2.I think this has been mentioned already, but a cartridge peripheral that you would have to blow into before the game worked would kinda kick a little ass.

3.The option to have to put tape on the power button to keep whichever system you are playing it on ON.

4.A year's subscription to Nintendo Power OR Diehard Gamefan.Preferably Gamefan, because they had all the cool Japanese shit you hadn't heard of before.

5.A big-ass black dust jacket to stick whichever your console of choice is into.

6.An option to have your controller just wig the fuck out for no reason, with Mega Man sometimes moving by himself, or the buttons doing nothing at all, to simulate all that Kool-Aid you spilled on your NES controller.

7.The option to have the game not work at all if you don't have a peanut butter jelly sammich and one of those little barrel shaped drinks that had the foil top you had to peel back or it would fuck your lips up sitting on top of your console.

8.Saying the words "That Endendo is gonna tear up My TV" will make the game automatically cut off.

9.The Option to swap Mega Man 9 with a friend,only to never get it back. Powering up the Wii subsequently gets you fussed at by a woman who sounds like your Mom.

I think Capcom should consider at least ONE of these, I mean if they are taking the time to add flicker,I at least want my free subscription to a defunct videogame publication. Couldn't hurt.   read

11:33 AM on 07.28.2008

The TRUE Definition of a "Hardcore" Gamer

From reading some of the comments posted on this site, and others similar to this site, I think I have FINALLY figured what a TRUE "hardcore" gamer is.A "Hardcore" gamer is NOT someone who plays any game and finds fun in it, OH NOOO.I've SEEN THE LIGHT!!!!!!! Here are the defining characteristics of a TRUE "Hardcore" gamer, from what I have gathered:

1.A "Hardcore" gamer will bash a game that hasn't been released yet if it doesn't meet his standards, despite not ever playing the game, or how incomplete it is.

2.A "Hardcore" gamer will bitch about not having a japanese language track in an anime based game,despite not speaking one word of japanese.

3.A "Hardcore" gamer needs his graphics to be as plasticine, brown and HD as humanly possible.He'll even go as far as count the muthafucking pixels to make sure his shit isn't some lowly upscaled shit.

4.A "Hardcore" gamer's video game console needs to be able to program games, play 20 seasons of Dragonball Z on one disk, split muthafucking atoms to cure cancer,display video resolutions from the year 2012,sound like a lawn mower, and weigh the amount of a healthy toddler.Playing video games is a nice extra too.

5.A "Hardcore" gamer needs extra copious amounts of First Person in his games.

6.A "Hardcore" gamer regularly goes into a blog about systems he doesn't own or has never even played, and shits on them, cause it's HARDCORE!!!Similarly, A "Hardcore" gamer writes 3,789,546,789,123,234,456 blogs about how bad Nintendo's press conference at E3 sucked, despite not even owning a Wii OR DS.

7.A "Hardcore" gamer will drink your milkshake if your TV doesn't take up at least 45% of your wall.

8.A "Hardcore" gamer lists every system he owns, what peripherals he has on the system, every game he owns, and what his systems are hooked up to in his profile.Like I REALLY give a fuck.

9.A "Hardcore" gamer will probably take all this shit personally, and flame me in the comments section.

So, in closing, I'd like to thank The Destructoid Community for saving my soul, and showing me what it means to be a TRUE "Hardcore" gamer.THANK YOU!!!!!   read

3:33 PM on 07.15.2008

Reasons I'm not mad at Nintendo

Nintendo's E3 press conference was pretty ass. Nothing for the "hardcore" gamer, is what everybody seems to be hollering. Before I get into what I was originally was typing this shit up for though, I have a question: What really constitutes a "hardcore" gamer VS a "casual" gamer??? I always thought a so-called "hardcore" gamer was somebody who liked games alot, played them alot, and was willing to play anything, VS a so-called "casual" gamer who might play Madden and maybe some other shit here and there every now and then. I mean, my favorite type of games is fighters, but I'll play anything thats fun.What I'm saying is, what if someone plays a lot of the retarded little minigame shit Nintendo and third parties is pumping out on the Wii,like "OMG I MUST have this new stupid minigame collection" kind of playing, doesn't that technically make them a "hardcore" gamer??? What if these persons favorite type of videogame is pointless minigame collections, kinda like how I get a chubby from Street Fighter IV and Tatsunoko VS Capcom videos?? Just a thought...Anyway, Reasons I'm not mad at Nintendo:

1.Nintendo could give a fuck less about a "hardcore gamer", and has already subtly let us know this. We don't make them any money.

2.The game I am most excited about, Grand Theft Auto on the DS, is most likely going to sell 70 bovillion copies in the span of 5 minutes, like most GTA games do. I don't own a DS.But the fact that it is going to sell 70 bovillion copies in 5 minutes pretty much confirms it is most likely going to be up-ported to the Wii, which I do have, much like how the GTA games on the PSP got ported to the PS2.I called it here first.

3.The Wii MotionPlus gadget is DAMN COOL. Now all we need is that PROPER Soulcalibur game.

4.Ninty's execs can sell a game on you no matter how hard it looks like rides the short bus. Case in point: Every last one of us thought Wii Sports looked utterly special-ed until you saw Reggie and Shigs and them up there making it look teh awesome. Wii Music LOOKS like it is sitting in the front seat, but watch it be some must have shit.

5.Voice Chat: better late than never, right? Maybe now Nint will fix (get rid of) the busted ass friend codes system, and the all together busted ass online component of the Wii.

So....I'm not going to complain, because I see some good stuff coming out of Nintendo's assy press conference.Patience is a virtue.   read

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