Yours truly attended a local GameStop's BIGGEST TOURNAMENT EVER! with a couple of buddies. The turnout at the 10am event was around a dozen or so people (all dudes). Less than I expected, but it was probably a good thing.

The atmosphere was antithetical of what I had come to expect from a Smash tourney. Time mode was used, not stock. Store provided Wiimote w/ Nunchuk were the only controllers allowed. Best of all, items, and all their zomgnubcake randomness, were on. I was quite pleased by this.

After each contestant got a chance to warm-up, in pairs, for 1:00 (not o'clock), we began. I chose DK, as I always have for decades, lost my practice run, and promptly lost in the 2:00 first round. I blame the controller config for my early shortcomings. Filled with disappointment, I was resigned to watching the rest of the tournament unfold without me, and ready to uninstall forever. However, it turned that there were an uneven number of people moving onto the second round, meaning one more spot was up for grabs.

This would be the turning point. We, first round losers, were instructed to pick between 1-100. The two nearest picks would be given the shot to reinsert themselves back into the bracket. 79 was revealed to be the magic number. I, 72, ended up handling 91(?) in the play-in match, to complete my resurrection.

8 remain. My remaining road to the finals had few bumps. Second round 3:00 match vs. Ike was EZ to Donkey Punch. learn 2 not telegraph counters.
4 remain. Hogged all the Final Smashes, and beat Mario in 4:00 semifinal. This guy beat my friend the previous round, so I avenged him.
2 remain. Oh shit son, the finals. 5 wholes minutes of fatty vs. fatty!

This was one of the most memorable, intense matches I've ever played. My fellow finalist had also steamrolled his way to this final, using the apparently improved Bowser. He had the clear advantage on me during the first two minutes, knocking my ass out first. I managed to hang in there though after that, trading kills a few times, without ever letting the separation be greater than +1 in his favor. Each and every big-time hit had the congregation buzzing. I tied it up with a minute to go, only to be KO'd and returned to the deficit at around the :40 mark. I knew I was in trouble at this point, for he did not have much damage and I did not have much time left, to at least pull even.

Vtec kicked in yo, as I saw a Final Smash ball appear and desperately tried to prevent him from touching it (that would be Gigabowser FYI). Success. The bongo fury was unleashed and I saw my window of opportunity open. With my pals beside me rooting me on, and the GameStop employees amused that "the phoenix" could go all the way, I finished Koopadikc off, and it was deadlocked with less than :15 left. Of course, I ran away to take my chances in f'ing SUDDEN DEATH.

Each is 300%. One-hit KO is fatty hit. Racing is heart. Hesitant is both. Jump goes titans. Imminent is impact. A forward air-smash do DK. A winner is me. (Oh sorry about that)



I now have one of these sitting on my desk. Jealous? Then what of the $40 gift card (not pictured)? I will be seeking more loot next weekend, against other Local Legends of Wreckage. Can't wait to pick my copy up to..day and get my muscles up.