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The 8-Bit Time Machine
johannhat | 10:47 AM on 09.22.2008 6 comments


So, Mega Man 9 was/will be released today. I'm actually pretty pumped up for it. I've already spoiled myself to the soundtrack early last week (Galaxy Man's theme won't leave my brain, taking root and hanging out with the Mega Man 2 and 3 Wily Themes), but the idea that I'll be able to go home and play what is essentially a new NES Mega Man game? Elation!

Still, what I wouldn't give to have a time machine at this very moment. Admittedly, this would also be a bad idea, 'cause I'd spend all the time just messing up my own timelime. It'd probably go something like this:

Younger Me: [Humming the MM2 Wily Theme.]

Me: [Suddenly appears!] BEYOWZA!

Younger Me: Whoooa!

Me: Greetings, younger version of me! I've come from the future to bring you great tidings of what is to come and to be. Furthermore, I have-- Oh god, you're making the Rush Jet Skateboard, aren't you?

YM: Yeah! It's made of wood!*

Me: Well, of course! All kid projects have to be made of wood! It's clearly the most available and useful of all kids' projects materials, pliable to the extreme!

YM: And metal's hard to bend, and dad won't let me touch the welding tools. :(

Me: Trust me kid, it's for the best. But look, I brought video games!

YM: I'm distracted again!

Me: You better be, because it's the latest Mega Man game!

YM: Whoa, radical! You still have Mega Man!?

Me: And more! Let me just get things around to set it up [Hooks the Wii up to the TV]

YM: Why do you have a white toaster, future me?

Me: Oh, this? Eh, it's just a new Nintendo system. It's pretty okay.

YM: YOU MEAN BEYOND EVEN THE SUPER NINTENDO!?

Me: ... You... Just saw the tiny screencaps of Super Mario World in Nintendo Power, didn't you?

YM: ... Yes?

Me: Kid, there's a lot to look forward to in the future. I'm not going to ruin it all for you. Just... Close your eyes and wait, okay?

YM: No way-- Wait, why are you swinging your hand like-- OH NEATO! YOU MADE THAT THING MOVE WITH YOUR HAND THING!

Me: *sigh*

[20 minutes later, after he's done asking questions and ruining all the surprises for the next 15 years.]

Me: Alright, get ready! It's Mega Man 9 time!

YM: Hooray! I bet it, like, goes into your mind and I can pretend to be Mega Man around my neighborhood, doesn't it? Pew pew pew! [Arm cannon imatation motions.]

Me: You just watch, kid.

[The Screen comes up.]

YM: It... Looks like *my* Mega Man games.

Me: Yeah!

YM: ...

Me: ...

YM: Yay new Mega Man!

Me: Yeahhh!


Annnnnnnd... SCENE.


* Yes, I did attempt to do this. I also attempted to turn the entire backyard into a training ground for American Gladiators in fourth grade. It was probably also going to be made of wood.



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6 comments | showing # 1 to 6

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Hamza CTZ Aziz's Destructoid Blog
Would you fuck yourself? I've thought of this multiple times, and yes, I would fuck myself. It's not gay, it's just like masturbation.
TrailerParkJesus's Destructoid Blog
@Hamza

How old were you when you played mega man, because that might be like, illegal in some states.
GohanGVO's Destructoid Blog
*golf clap*

Hilarious dialogue there. :)
Qalamari's Destructoid Blog
Huh. At first I thought Hamza was telling you you suck, but turns out he's just really really perverted.



Good to know.



Also, you don't suck. That was really funny.
Hamza CTZ Aziz's Destructoid Blog
Oh I'm sorry, that was a good read. I was just being being really dumb, haha
Ballistic's Destructoid Blog
That was brilliant! I have often thought about time travel and what meeting my past-self to tell myself all about what the future would be like, so this blog was about as relevant to my interests as could be. And that last sentence was as confusing as I could possibly make it.


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