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It's Freedom Stick! It's the One to Get!
johannhat \| 8:29 PM on 05.12.2009	4 comments

So, I haven't been able to post on this thing for awhile. My bad. Things have been hectic. Real hectic. Family emergency hectic. Might make for a good post someday, but it's definitely not video game related. It's calmed down since then, thankfully. The important thing is that I have returned to you, the viewers at home, and I am ready and fully willing to rock anyone's face off who dare get in my way.

And when those people, who wish their faces to be rocked off, dare to challenge me, this will be my weapon:

A little bit of backstory: Game Player's Magazine, long ago, commissioned a research company to make a bunch of "Game Player's Gametapes" with lots of Pro-Tips on them. Mostly, these tapes filled up space in the Scholastic Book Ads that all elementary schools got. When we weren't trying to figure out how to con our parents into getting us the latest Calvin and Hobbes collection (Which always seemed to be the only decent thing in these catalogs, next to the Far Side Books), we were trying to con them into getting us one of these tapes. "It'll make me awesome mom! It'll teach me how to beat Blaster Master!" If you followed these tapes carefully, you would learn one thing very, very quickly: That goddamn mutant frog of yours is gone forever, boy. They were, in fact, lies.

Anyway, I found a bunch of these tapes long ago for cheap at a thrift store back in college. Among the "helpful" tips were commercials such as the Freedom Stick. And I have decreed them hilarious enough in retrospect to preserver and throw up on the youtubernets. Which means you get more joy/pain in this world. It's a happy day for everyone!

So, hey kids! Did you want to learn how to master Mega Man 2? Apparently not, if you listen to Mr. Announcer Face! Remember, if you can't run through it, it must be too hard! Just keep running through it instead!

Don't believe me? No, seriously, check out what he does during Bubbleman's stage. Watch carefully; these tips could save your life!

A bunch more of these videos, each segmented by game, can be found here.

BONUS ROUND: (Also found on one of the tapes)

BONUS BONUS ROUND:

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4 comments | showing # 1 to 4

de BLOO

Amazing finds.

Magnalon

Sorry about you being so busy/hectic man.

Nice finds! Funnily enough, I actually called a tip line for Mega Man 2. I wanted to know how to get up to the Dragon's lair in Wily Stage 1. USE THE HELICOPTER PADS DURRRRR.

mr spooky

Power Pad is Powerful.

johannhat

@Magnalon:

Augh, yes. I remember doing the 8-year old equivalent of "WTF Is this shit?" when I came across that as a game. Now, it's a natural thing to me but it warped my fragile little game playing mind.

My main offense though was calling the Nintendo Customer Service line about every offhand Nintendo question ever.(1-800-255-3700, Oh god, why do I still remember that.) I once called for details on how the Super FX chip worked when Starfox was first coming out and actually got a respectable answer! That was amazing in its own right.

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about me

Yo. I'm this dude. I do the things that make my life revolve around. Or something or other. Mostly, I try to figure out how to fit the mission guy from Bad Dudes into anything and everything. To show how dedicated I am to this idea, I own the domain http://www.badenoughdude.com/ Someday, I may even do more with it! Aside from that, I'm also the writer of a webcomic called RIPtheSYSTEM (http://www.ripsystem.com) and spend a lot of my time thinking up too many damn ideas for my own good. If this was an earlier time, I would have been executed for such things. Instead, I can just bitch about them on the internet. Hooray!

When I'm not doing weird stuff on the internet, I'm doing weird stuff behind or in front a camera. I'm part of the duo who created the sketch comedy group "Channel Z: The Last TV Station" (http://www.thelasttvstation.com/) Some of it has to do with video games!

When I'm not doing either of the two above, I'm planning my war room for when I get rich. It'll look exactly like the room in Wargames and have the game "Defcon" constantly playing at all times. You cannot sway me from this path.