Apparently drinking Syke transports you into a world of familiarly themed game franchises. Also, wtf is Syke? Pass me some Tentacle Grape.



Personally I was hoping at the end of it, it'd switch back to the real world and show all the carnage he'd caused. Can't find any mention of it on his blog, but it looks pretty spot on. I can spot that cakedog a mile away.

http://www.actionbutton.net/?p=495

By writing *cough*

Six thousand sixty-seven words.

Look, I've got a big epeen, but if I ever found myself blathering 500+ words of the fucking stomp mechanic in a game (no really, it's in there), I'd think it's time to put the viagra away. Christ, I think I'd rather read a dissertation on the merits of fruit in Pacman.

OLO I'M DEEP ABOUT VIDEOGAMES

I won't pretend to not pretend the mind behind the review isn't conforming himself to regular review standards. Except the part where he left out of the About page that every other paragraph tends to ramble more than a room full of geriatrics at an old folks home.

"In Dead Space, you find the time-slowing down thing on the ground literally three feet away from a door that is opening and closing at roughly the speed of sound. Pick it up and someone tells you: “That’s a Stasis Module. You can use it to slow down time! Try using it on that fucking psychotic door right in front of you.” Then, a tutorial message pops up, telling you to aim your gun with the L bumper and shoot the Stasis Module with one of the face buttons. Then a second window tells you that this is the only way to slow down this door. Try walking through the door, and your character gets cut in half. Okay. Use the Stasis Module, and the door slows down. Now you can walk through it.

Up the stairs and down the hall, there’s a “puzzle”. A computer panel tells you to “manually attach the arms to initiate repair”. Okay. You press the lever on the left side of the room. One of the arms shoots out and connects to something. Press the lever on the other side of the room (look out for the monster lurking in the shadows!) and the second arm shoots out, grabs a thing, and then shoots back a second later. You have to touch the computer panel while the second arm is attached."

What the fuck is this, a Myst Let's Play?

"Have you thought of the solution? Of course, you have to shoot the second arm with your Stasis Module and then press the lever; it’ll now take ten seconds to get to the Thing it needs to repair. You can enjoy a little walk up to the panel."

Nevermind. Apparently this man was looking for the game to smother his balls in molasses. Nothing to see here. Really, I'm not just cherry picking excerpts, look through that shit. Gaudy. Get to the point you muppet, no one cares you think you know more than people you wish you were in the industry.

Stay with me here.



So Zoey and old man enter this room. Zoester is the only one with a flashlight and since it's not on her right pistol you can assume it's on her left.



Check that shit! The light's coming from the right!

Who knows what else we've overlooked. I bet there's a shot or two where Bill's cigarette isn't even lit. Those lazy fucks.

The only weapon in COD4 as far as I'm concerned was the M4. Tiny recoil and the damage could be made bearable with stopping power. A little red dot sight here and red tiger there and you're set.

That said, it didn't take me long to find thee gun to use in CODMW:



Now I thought I'd be a Thompson guy because it's usually the go to gun in WW2 games. Unfortunately it just kinda flies all over the place and shoots peas. Trying to aim through it's iron sight is sorta balls too.

The Gewehr 43 on the other hand (which for some reason doesn't show up in CODMW weapon lists when you google it) is badass. Semi-automatic, but there's tiny recoil and you can fire off rounds as fast as you pull the trigger. It's like if you were using the sniper rifle but could make a trail of where you want to fire instead. Have rarely had ammo problems, which was usually the case with the M4 until bandolier could be got.

Speaking of weapon lists, most of them I'm running across are kinda off, so here's what's in the beta.

Bolt Action Rifles:
Springfield
Arisaka
Mosin-Nagant
Kar98k
PTRS-41

Rifles:
SVT-40
Gewehr 43
M1 Garand
STG-44
M1A1 Carbine

Submachine Guns:
Thompson
MP40
Type 100
PPSh-41

Shotguns:
M1897 Trench Gun
Double-Barreled Shotgun

Machine Guns:
Type 99
BAR
DP-28
MG42
FG42
Browning M1919

Side Arm:
Cold M1911
Nambu
Walther P38
Tokarev TT-33
.357 Magnum

Primary Grenade:
Frag
N 74 ST
Molotov Cocktail

Special Grenade:
Smoke
Tabun Gas
Signal Flare

- Ugleh menu font

- Awkward sprinting animations
The weapons don't look like they have weight to them when sprinting

- Visuals aren't consistent

- Graphics aren't a noticable step up
Looks worse in a lot of places, muddy weapon textures, player models don't have the fullness of the cod4 ones

- Vehicle controls are poop
Ehh

- Everyone looks the same
I thought they were pulling an America's Army on me for a while

- Same dog sfx from cod4 and a lot more often

- Not much use in going prone anymore

+ Dogs are awesome (replaces the helicopter bonus)

Who do you think you're fooling Tecmo? I've loved you and all since DOA3, but you know this won't catch on. You're just opening yourself up to more obscene Kasumi modding. Mmm.