I haven't posted for a few months but I don't post enough to be missed anyway. Recently I have just been playing games and watching Dragon Ball. I don't really have a good reason for my long absence but I'm back now. Blame the PSN outtage if you like.

Part 1 was posted shortly before the earthquake and I felt it insensitive to post any more for a while. That ended up being a long time but I'm ready to put this up now and hopefully do a few more in a more timely manner. Same sort of rules go as before. These are just my own generalisations and I don't want it to be assumed that I know what I am talking about.

This is just a quick guide to the types of foreigners I'm constantly meeting here. Many are a mixture of a few and some are absolutely spot on. I fit in here and there too so I am also belittling myself.



The “what is she doing here?” Girl



It should be said here that the gender for almost every type of person listed can be interchanged but I am going on the gender I find most common. In this case, girls far outstrip the guys. This girl is usually quite cute, though not hot. She is not much interested in Japanese culture or the people and usually responds to questions about her decision to come to Japan with something vague about the desire to travel. This still leaves you puzzled as most of the time she doesn’t even seem to want to do that. She often has a boyfriend or even husband in her home country and spends a great deal of time on the phone with them. When she’s out she seems a little distant and all of these observations have you asking in your mind, what is she doing here? I still don’t know.



Weaboos



Despite what I expected, I have met very few Weaboos in Japan, and the ones I have not been nearly as annoying as they are in their home country. Maybe it is just the stark realization that Japan is nothing like they expected, or perhaps it was losing confidence when they found that all the Japanese words they know are useful only to Samurai and perverts. The weaboos generally retain their giddy love for all things Japanese but always seem just a little deflated with the knowledge that their idea of Japan is not at all the Japanese idea of Japan.



Manga Guy



A division of weaboo. Manga guy generally has a good grasp of Japanese at a reading level but can barely speak the language. They will latch on to foreigners hoping to talk about manga because they have no doubt repeatedly discovered those cute girls with the short skirts don’t much care. A harmless fellow but perhaps one that should have had what he liked about Japan mailed to him.



Travel Guy



Just a guy that wants to travel and saw Japan as an easy option. Often not much interested in learning the language past the occasional lesson and some casual conversation. Travel guy usually just has a lonely planet and itchy feet. He also likes to drink beer and party. Travel guy doesn’t stay more than a year in Japan unless he becomes Married Guy (see below). Unfortunately there are many travel guys that are loud, annoying and embarrassing, but they usually confine themselves to foreign bars.



“I want a Japanese girlfriend” Guy



Also known as 99% of guys that come to Japan, often and including spoken for and even married men. Even the 1% of men who are genuinely not are curious about those school girl uniforms. There is of course nothing wrong with being one of these guys, it just becomes amusing when one tries to deny it. Most men in this category end up with a girlfriend at some stage except perhaps for the manga and weaboo guys.



I want to be Japanese Guy!



This guy could be mistaken for a weaboo but he really isn’t. You see this guy actually does like Japan as Japan and not the mythical perverted, bullet train, samurai land that the weaboo imagines. He enjoys Japanese food from miso soup to the much hated natto. This guy might even take up Japanese citizenship. He is already married with children, speaks the language and fits in nicely. This guy is mostly fine except when he refuses to discuss anything even slightly negative about his adopted country.



One Year Know Everything Guy



You usually meet this guy back in his homeland and he will act like a great seer on Japanese culture. The problem is that any thoughtful person who presses on his knowledge will find it wanting. You see he probably read a short book on Japanese manners, learned some of the basics of the language and climbed Mt. Fuji but he is nowhere near as informed as he thinks he is. He will usually also only have negative things to say and will disagree with any objections you might raise to some of his opinions. After all, he has been there, have you? Much amusement can be had if this know-it-all bumps into someone actually informed in a social situation, where you can observe his sudden silence and smile quietly to yourself. The worst of this type you can meet actually only went on a two week holiday.



I know Kanji Guy



I think this guy is perhaps the worst guy that a long term foreign resident can meet in Japan. You see, he can speak Japanese very well and boy does he know it. Unlike other foreigners though, he will not be helpful - but scathing of any gaps in your knowledge whether you have been in Japan a day or four years. A common sentence you can hear from this guy is, “Hrrrphf, sif’ you don’t know that kanji, *sigh* it means urologist. Jeez.” If you aren’t sick of this guy after one ride on the Tokyo subway, you are extremely tolerant. Kanji Guy doesn’t need friends, he knows kanji and he’d rather talk to Japanese people or find other foreigners to torment. Make sure you never say something like, “You, know, I think English is a more expressive language” if you want a conversation with him to be short.



I speak (broken) Japanese guy



Kind of the opposite of kanji guy but just as annoying. This guy didn’t need formal study, he just hung with Japanese guys in bars speaking a broken mix of Japanese and English. However he is quite convinced of his ability and won’t hear anything to the contrary. I once heard a guy like this yell out, “Ashtray deshou?!” in a bar. I think he was asking if it an ashtray was an ashtray but it doesn’t take a genius to realize that ‘ashtray’ is not a Japanese word and taken together, his sentence is not only short but confusing to anyone who doesn’t know both Japanese and English. Someone new to Japanese can spot this guy by the relative shortness of his sentences, further observation will yield the realization that he can’t even form a sentence and is merely saying words in response as if “beer now” is fluent communication. I’ve always wanted to see this guy and Kanji guy meet.



Married Guy



This guy came to Japan for one of many reasons but found himself married. Its kind of funny how this stuff happens. Married guy could be one of many of the above categories. I'm him too.



Green Card Girl



Actually Japanese despite being quite westernized. Not as interested in you as you think.