I am dead serious.
Movie adaptations of videogames have been appearing more and more frequently as the
years have gone on thanks to the rise of mainstream interest in our favorite medium.
Of course, film producers normally look at sales numbers before they green light anything.
(I mean, how in the fuck
else can you explain The Sims
being turned into a
motion picture?) Which is why we have Super Mario Bros, Street Fighter, Resident Evil,
Tomb Raider and so on. Sales have always impacted big franchise productions. No surprise.
But look in the change in climate recently, especially in comic book cinema. Iron Man, while
a well known character in the circle of comics, might not be all that recognizable to the
average moviegoer. And that movie, through good marketing, smart writing and an
extremely likable lead actor, achieved critical and commercial success. People don't just
want what's popular, they also want something that's full of love and entertaining to boot.
And with stuff like The Watchman, Scott Pilgrim
and more on the way, there's no end
in sight to finding the most interesting stories.
And even in the videogame adaptations are starting to differ. You've got stuff like
and Silent Hill
. Two franchises that, while familar with gamers, are not
filled with John Q. MovieFucker. Yeah, they might not be the best, but you can tell at least
they had a fraction of heart. Even if that fraction was very, very small.
(By the way, I'm completely ignoring the German Guy and his "films". )
I think it's time for Hollywood to start looking at different videogames.
Like Jet Set Radio
Can you imagine the sheer potential in a movie based around the JGR/JSRF
Now, you might say, "Oh well, come on. The game's plot isn't that complex or interesting.
And the characters are pretty vapid. You're a goof and this would be terrible."
Well...of course. If you play it completely serious. But think about it. The key word here is:
CAMP! You know why Mortal Kombat
is arguably the greatest videogame movie of all
It's because it's fucking ridiculous and it knows it, but plays it straight anyway. We know it's
ridiculous! Give it heart, give it soul.
Come on. A rag tag bunch of misfit skater punks take on a corrupt cartoonish government
(perhaps the greatest example of "The Man" ever, in any medium) the only way they know
how: Grinding some rad
rails, tagging with complex artwork and listening to the
greatest pirate radio station ever, hosted by the charismatic and unbelievably informative
I know you're all jaded and cynical bastards but would you not want to see that done?
Think of the soundtrack! Think of the goofiness!
Remember Rocky Horror Picture Show?
Remember The Warriors?
Remember You Got Served
? (Yeah, that's right. I'm fucking defending You Got
Served, because it's a fucking masterpiece of corny, campy, and so-good-it-hurts
cinema and possibly the greatest drunk-with-friends movie you'll ever see. Rent it. )
Those movies, while skimp on plot, make up for in style
. Shit, son. Jet Set Radio
has the potential to be the next, great midnight classic! Hell, you can even make it a
And to those who say the style of the game can't be translated well to the big screen, I've
got two words for you:
Say what you will about story or characters, but that flick had so much eye candy it gave
everyone diabetes of the face. And technology has finally caught up to imagination.
To be honest, I agree with the feelings shared in this community that videogames, being
the all inclusive mediums that they are, wouldn't benefit from film adaptations because you
can only take away from them. But let's be honest with ourselves. As long as videogames
become more and more popular, people are going to exploit them to all different mediums.
So, on that note I'd at least like to see something more interesting than a Halo
Gears of War
So for the love of all that is holy. PLEASE do what it takes to turn Jet Set Radio
midnight classic! Buy 3 copies of JSRF
for Xbox for all I care.
Other great adaptations that would fall perfectly under the midnight movie theme:
- Space Channel 5
- Parappa the Rapper/Umjammer Lammy
- Elite Beat Agents
- Gitaroo Man
(Sense a pattern?)