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How to win at Texas Hold 'em every single time. (NVGR)
iwontusemyname \| 5:35 AM on 06.28.2008	6 comments

Winning at poker is actually fairly easy once you use this proven method:

Whenever you have a clearly lower amount of chips than everyone else you are playing,
just say, out-loud,

"I'm going to Mighty Duck this."

That's it! You are surely guaranteed to win, at the very least, the next hand, and in some
instances, if done right, the entire game.

How is this possible? Easy.

D2: The Mighty Ducks is not only a classic example of an underdog sports movie, but
poker scientists, through experimentation, have found a scientific correlation between how
we play cards and how we interpret memories based on the themes of D2, creating
what's known as "The Emilio Theory". (Clear chip loser, or "The Mighty Duck", vs. Clear chip
winner or "Team Iceland")

NOTES: If you play within a time limit, it's best to use this phrase within the last 10-20
minutes of the game. And while it's been hypothesized that the same effect can be occurred
by uttering "There are Angels in my Outfield", or "I'm Going to Airbud this Shit", field
studies have found no similar outcome.

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6 comments | showing # 1 to 6

Ali D

How not to win at Texas Hold 'em:

Play against your friend's flatmate who is studying psychology. Specifically non-verbal communication. Probably didn't help that I was fairly drunk either.

TrailerParkJesus

I hear wearing sunglasses works too

UglyDuck

How to win at Texas Hold 'em:

Don't play the fucking game. I guarantee you won't have less money then when you started. Made of non-lose!

Qraze

one way to win is to not play against yojimbo on wnw poker nights. good times though. i try to say "hasta la vista...baby" when about to win.

Video Cognito

I think I'll do a "NOM NOM NOM" next time I take moneys.

pendelton21

That phrase made me win the lottery, so I totally understand where you're coming from here.

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about me

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i made stairs.

it's weird to me when people call other people their screen names or user names in real life. so just call me conor.

and not only am i not proficient at photoshop, i don't even have a copy!

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iwontusemyname4

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