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i made stairs.

it's weird to me when people call other people their screen names or user names in real life. so just call me conor.

and not only am i not proficient at photoshop, i don't even have a copy!

i enjoy (not) sleeping, playing bass guitar, not looking directly into people's eyes, orange chicken, and making non-pornographic short films.

Short films that I actually made! Woah!



Myspace is for the cool ones.

so...video games. amirite?

i guess you can call me an "art-fag" or "plot-fucker" or whatever the term is, because i enjoy games with a robust and (mostly) rewarding single player campaign. (that, and most of my friends play some multiplayer games i don't like, so i'm sort of in a pickle here.) i also like odd quirky titles and some rhythm games (like elite beat agents and parappa and so forth. not so much guitar hero anymore...)

i'm not tied down to any particular console, but if it has a metal gear solid game, a resident evil game, or a sonic game (yes...that sonic) then i'd most certainly RSVP. i'm also a fan of katamari, phoenix wright, metroid prime, sam & max, psychonauts, killer 7 and earthbound. although on occasion, i've been known to pop in teenage mutant ninja turtles IV and mortal kombat 3, just for kicks.


picking a favorite is like picking your children. it mostly comes down to which one is the sexiest.

Following (21)  

And by a ukulele and voice band no less!

Tanguy Ukulele Orchestra whips up a neat version of the song heard at the very end of the
newest trailer.

Right here, yo.

Personally, I can't wait for a cooler remix of the main trailer song.


But speaking of Mega Man 9, I'm almost half expecting some large twist in the form of
"this is a really new game with crazy cooler updated visual things!" kind of thing. Is that
weird? I know it's just going to be straight up NES-style cool, but it still gets me thinking.

Ever since Kojima tricked us into thinking we'd play as Snake in MGS2 all the way up until we
started playing as Raiden, I've been wondering if any other game would provide a similar
thrill. Maybe I was hoping for something like that in the 4th game, like one that really messes
with the player.

I dunno.

I know I mentioned before how a retail Rock Band 2 was kind of pointless, considering
all the downloadable functions and so forth will be there, and while I still kind of belive that,
Rock Band 2 immediately wins the title of best rhythm game for one specific reason.

It has AC/DC.


Because the fucking VERY FIRST GUITAR designed for the original Guitar Hero, was, in it's
purpose, specifically built for you to pretend to be Angus Young.


Sure, it also has indie favs like Sonic Youth and Dinosaur Jr, with newer ones like Interpol
and Modest Mouse. And sure, it has the 2nd greatest Metallica song ever recorded
("Battery") And sure it has a stunning amount of random additions like Alanis Morissette's
"You Outta Know" and EYE OF THE FUCKING TIGER. And sure, it has THE Tenacious D song
to rule them all (Master Exploder)

...but it's all moot, when you think about it. Because Rock Band 2 finally accomplishes
what it should have from the very start: Put you in the tight school uniform of a tiny
Australian guitar god.

Rock Band 2, FTW.

It's just TOO BAD that they don't use the fucking Gibson SG anymore.

Set List (courtesy of IGN and Wikipedia)

"Peace Sells" Megadeth
"Testify" Rage Against the Machine
"We Got the Beat" The Go-Go's
"You Oughta Know" Alanis Morisette
"Tangled Up in Blue" Bob Dylan
"Bad Reputation" Joan Jett
"That's What You Get" Paramore
"The Trees" Rush
"Ace of Spades" Motorhead
"Chop Suey!" System of a Down
"Spirit in the Sky" Norman Greenbaum
"Ramblin' Man" The Allman Brothers
"Rebel Girl" Bikini Kill
"Eye of the Tiger" Survivor
"Panic Attack" Dream Theater
"Everlong" Foo Fighters
"One Step Closer" Linkin Park
"Lump" Presidents of the United States of America
"Come Out and Play (Keep 'Em Separated)" The Offspring
"Drain You" Nirvana
"Carry on Wayward Son" Kansas
"Souls of Black" Testament
"Livin' on a Prayer" Bon Jovi
"Round and Round" Ratt
"New Kid in School" The Donnas
"Today" Smashing Pumpkins
"Man in the Box" Alice in Chains
"Any Way You Want It" Journey
"Give It Away" Red Hot Chili Peppers
"White Wedding" Billy Idol
"Hello There" Cheap Trick
"Cool for Cats" Squeeze
"Psycho Killer" Talking Heads
"One Way or Another" Blondie
"De-luxe" Lush
"Pump It Up" Elvis Costello
"Master Exploder" Tenacious D
"PDA" Interpol
"My Own Worst Enemy" Lit
"Float On" Modest Mouse
"Aqualung" Jethro Tull
"Spoonman" Soundgarden
"Bodhisattva" Steely Dan
"I Was Wrong" Social Distortion
"American Woman" The Guess Who
"Hungry Like the Wolf" Duran Duran
"Alabama Getaway" The Grateful Dead
"Let There Be Rock" AC/DC
"Girl's Not Grey" AFI
"Almost Easy" Avenged Sevenfold
"Shooting Star" Bad Company
"So What'cha Want" Beastie Boys
"E-Pro" Beck
"Uncontrollable Urge" Devo
"Feel the Pain" Dinosaur Jr.
"Down with the Sickness" Disturbed
"Go Your Own Way" Fleetwood Mac
"Shackler's Revenge" Guns N' Roses
"Mountain Song" Jane's Addiction
"The Middle" Jimmy Eat World
"Painkiller" Judas Priest
"Pretend We're Dead" L7
"Our Truth" Lacuna Coil
"Colony of Birchmen" Mastodon
"Battery" Metallica
"Where'd You Go" Mighty Mighty Bosstones
"Kids in America" The Muffs
"Nine in the Afternoon" Panic at the Disco
"Alive" Pearl Jam
"Alex Chilton" The Replacements
"Give It All" Rise Against
"Lazy Eye" Silversun Pickups
"Teen Age Riot" Sonic Youth
"Rock'n Me" Steve Miller Band
"Pinball Wizard" The Who


"Visions" Abnormality
"Get Clean" Anarchy Club
"Night Lies" Bang Camaro
"Shoulder to the Plow" Breaking Wheel
"Neighborhood" The Libyans
"A Jagged Georgeous Winter" The Main Drag
"Conventional Love" Speck
"Supreme Girl" The Sterns
"Rob the Prez-O-Dent" That Handsome Devil

(By the way, this blog is dedicated to Skribble for giving me a new substitute word for
"WTF", which is, in fact, ABOTU (pronounced, for no reason at all, AH-BOW-TWO! in a
snooty French accent.) So thanks for that.)

For a decent portion of my time, when I'm not playing games, making stupid comments on
the C-Blogs or masturbating, I work on a literary magazine for my college. Basically, a
dozen people and I receive terrible, terrible short fiction and poetry that people turn in. We
eat pizza and laugh while we degrade their hard work. It's pretty fun.

But then there is stuff that makes us angry by being misdirecting. One story we got was
actually starting to get good, with excellent pacing and a decent character, then...out of no
where...BOOM. Fucking Vampires are everywhere. And not in a jokey, From Dusk 'Till
, kind of way. No, this author was being completely serious about it. And right
before the turn, the main character's eyes start glowing a pulsating red, and thus, the term
was coined.

What are some games that have this "glowing red eye" deal? Have you ever went through
a game moving along one style, or thinking one thing, only to be tossed into another,
making you shout WTF!? or ABOTU?!! or something in the same vein?

I guess an example of this might be finding out the Colonel and Rose in MGS2 are AI
programs. But I can't think of one that changes the whole style of the game (be it
mechanics or otherwise) off the top of my head. I'm using the phrase in sort of a negative
sense, but it also applies to anything that makes a huge change.

Anyone else?

Rock Band 2 will be compatible with Rock Band 1 in the ways that are most
important. (Guitars, DLC, certain modes).

Which begs the question...why even release another retail disc? If your method for
downloading new songs is the same, then why the hell even bother with a sequel? Why not
just keep adding new tracks?

They say it's to "add new ways to play" and new features. Well, in the age where online
distribution is not only realized but important, then why not make those things downloadable
content? FPS and other genres release new play modes all the time, don't they?

So what is it? A new guitar? Drums? Can't you just buy a new stand-alone instrument
separately if the old one is giving you that much trouble? And shit, it's not like there aren't
tons of mods (both easy and difficult) to be found on the internet to help patch certain issues.

Of course they want more money. Le duh. It's quite possible to release just one Madden game
per console life-span now, with roster and feature updates happening every now and again,
the same way it's possible to keep Halo 3 alive for years and years. I'd like to see that,
just as I'd like to see them release one big overall Super Smash Bros. title that is
constantly updated (via a WORKING online service) with new nostalgic characters and levels.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, let's firebomb a Gamestop.

Winning at poker is actually fairly easy once you use this proven method:

Whenever you have a clearly lower amount of chips than everyone else you are playing,
just say, out-loud,

"I'm going to Mighty Duck this."

That's it! You are surely guaranteed to win, at the very least, the next hand, and in some
instances, if done right, the entire game.

How is this possible? Easy.

D2: The Mighty Ducks is not only a classic example of an underdog sports movie, but
poker scientists, through experimentation, have found a scientific correlation between how
we play cards and how we interpret memories based on the themes of D2, creating
what's known as "The Emilio Theory". (Clear chip loser, or "The Mighty Duck", vs. Clear chip
winner or "Team Iceland")

NOTES: If you play within a time limit, it's best to use this phrase within the last 10-20
minutes of the game. And while it's been hypothesized that the same effect can be occurred
by uttering "There are Angels in my Outfield", or "I'm Going to Airbud this Shit", field
studies have found no similar outcome.