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[ itemforty's blog ]

Attn: Women - Finger Drumming is Not Only Cool, but Also Totally Sweet (NVGR)
itemforty \| 12:01 PM on 05.04.2008	23 comments

Women of the world, why do you hate finger drumming so much?

I see it all the time; guys, rockin out on a totally kick ass drum solo, using only a steering wheel and the hands God™ gave them, and his girl in the passenger seat pops out of NO WHERE and says, "COULD YOU STOP THAT FOR ONE SECOND FOR CHRIST'S SAKE?"

What the hell is the deal, ladies? Don't you understand that finger drumming is extremely difficult? It's not a gift given to every child born... it's a delicate and amazingly impressive skill, that can take any where from 3-6 hours to master, and 9 times out of 10, is used specifically to kick-ass (a trait that, from my research, all girls want in a dude).

So why front? You want a guy who can dance (which is soooo fucking easy), and all that really means is you want a guy who has good rhythm, right? Well, what else is drumming mastery?

I mean seriously, it's all about fucking anyway.

Thanks for listening,
-itemforty

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22 comments | showing # 1 to 22

-D- says:
(# 0) on 05/04/2008 12:13

You haven't lived until itemforty's finger drummed you to climax...

I shouldn't have said that out loud.

bhive01 says:
(# 1) on 05/04/2008 12:20

But you did D.

Knowing is half the battle.

sleepingagain says:
(# 2) on 05/04/2008 12:28

your banner is fucking epic, long live the dio

BluDesign says:
(# 3) on 05/04/2008 12:33

Due to my size, whenever I finger drum it sounds like kodo drums being played which always draws a crowd of Japanese tourists for pictures and weeaboos donning their favorite Naruto shirt.

Coonskin05 says:
(# 4) on 05/04/2008 12:36

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks.

MrSadistic says:
(# 5) on 05/04/2008 12:46

Banging on a trashcan
Drumming on a streetlight

Playing on my banjo
In the middle of the night
Waking up my neighbors
Not looking for a fight
Just jamming with my friends here
Everything is all right

One little voice is calling me

Justice says:
(# 6) on 05/04/2008 12:55

That's pretty cool, I must learn to synchronise my beatboxing abilities with my finger drumming ones also.

Professor Pew says:
(# 7) on 05/04/2008 12:56

I can finger drum a smiley face. Bitches should love that, no?

mistic says:
(# 8) on 05/04/2008 13:11

the video-guy's a lot better at it then me :p

Justin Villasenor says:
(# 9) on 05/04/2008 13:35

Thanks for making me want to watch Doug reruns, Sadistic.

nintendoll says:
(# 10) on 05/04/2008 13:43

@Mr. Sadistic.

i eat my sugared cereal
but it makes my teeth bacterial
i used to think i was such a nerd
i refused to eat that strange bean curd

DaedHead8 says:
(# 11) on 05/04/2008 13:49

Fucking epic. I pride myself on my ability to turn my beer gut into a makeshift drum. I'm not as good as the guy in the video but if we teamed up we could kick out the silly fresh beats.

Elitechief27 says:
(# 12) on 05/04/2008 14:50

@ Mr. Sadistic and Nintendoll

I need more allowance.
Yodela-hee-hoo
I need more allowance.
Yodela-hee-hoo
I need more allowance.
Yodela-hee-hoo
WHY! BECAUSE I DO!!!!!!!!!
Yodela-heeeeeeeeeeee-hoooooooooo

Samit Sarkar says:
(# 13) on 05/04/2008 15:21

Pure awesomesauce.

Geo Holyhart says:
(# 14) on 05/04/2008 15:39

Why else do we have fingers?

SLiFE says:
(# 15) on 05/04/2008 16:13

I am a rythym junkie, and I came.

braulio09 says:
(# 16) on 05/04/2008 16:38

Both itemforty's post and Sadistic's comments made me cum.

Way to go guys....call me ;)

BahamutZero says:
(# 17) on 05/04/2008 18:57

Word.

MATTFOO says:
(# 18) on 05/04/2008 21:25

Word.

Necros says:
(# 19) on 05/05/2008 01:00

It's our god-given right as men.

galagabug says:
(# 20) on 05/05/2008 10:20

aaaaaaaaa eeeeeeeee uuuuuuuu...

KILLER TOFU?

MaxVest says:
(# 21) on 05/05/2008 13:20

This would have been the best thing I saw yesterday if I had seen it yesterday.

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