on 04.04.2014Goat Simulator is Evil Feminist Propaganda
I'll start by reassuring you, dear reader, that I am not sexist. So if anything you read after this looks sexist to you, then please refer back to my first sentence for indisputable proof of the opposite. In fact, someone of my best friends are women for all you know.
So, Goat Simulator is currently the best selling game on Steam. Some may see it as an irreverent physics sandbox joke-game, but as someone who is smarter than you and who is tapped into the feminist plot to raise awareness of various first and third world issues which affect both men and women due to systematic and widespread unequal treatment of men and women, I can tell you that this game is propaganda. And you can take that to the bank.
At this point you should be taking my word for it and agreeing with me, but if you want to be stubborn, read on and I will tell you exactly why this game is actually a plot to infect your mind.
First, the protagonist of this game is female. All games with a goat protagonist up to this point have featured a male playable character. This needless break with tradition is immersion-breaking. I was looking to have a wholesome, uncomplicated fun romp as a goat, not be constantly reminded of gender issues. I mean, a female protagonist? I literally don't understand.
You may have also noticed that this lady goat is literally headstrong. Coincidence? I think you know the answer, unless you're an idiot.
I know what I'm talking about.
The game begins with our "hero" in a pen with her female companions, doing what female goats do and being where female goats belong. Naturally, the fiendish progressive game designers have given us players the tools and incentive to upset this natural and proper balance.
Many of the places and items in the game can give the goat powers, such as the power of flight and some other things probably. There's a word for this: empowerment. That's a word feminists say.
From beginning to end, Goat Simulator is a 40 to 45 minute videogame which leaks and oozes feminism. I would suggest politely (not that you deserve it) that game developers should focus more on what made games great in the first place: not that.
In the gender wars there is no place for humor. We must not forgive this subterfuge.
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