It is I, tehArtist, well, I'm actually iDano, the guy formerly known as tehArtist. I come to you today for two reasons Dtoid nation, first is to address the reason for the nick change. Since soo many people tend to question why. Well, I have gone by the nick tehArtist for quite some time, however some douchebag emo fag on myspace decided it would be fun to use that name as well. I get too many people asking me if that is me. So now that thats cleared up, on to my main reason!
We are facing a grave danger today, many peole don't realize it but the day of judgment is upon us. The Zombie Army is preparing for it's attack! You may sit there and chuckle, but when one of these flesh craving bastards jumps from around the corner and bites your fucking face off, well, who will be laughing then!? First off, zombies are 100% really, proved by scientific fact. It's on the internets, it must be true! So I am no crazy person. Those VooDoo priests are cerial when it comes to preparing that zombie army. The VooDoo priests of the Caribbean isn't the only place we must worry about the Zombie Invasion starting.
Asia has been infected with Zombism as well. It's a Global crisis it may seem. Nobody truly knows the origin of this disease that causes the Zombie effect, however, the article just linked seems to think it's some Parasite from a mosquito. And everyone thinks I'm crazy when I wear my tin-foil hat and carry my bug zapper! Pft. They say that they have this outbreak contained, but come on, hasn't anyone seen 28 Weeks Later. Or Resident Evil for that matter. There is no containing that shit!
Even our great and holy Lord Jesus Christ himself warns us of the zombies. According to the great and Holy book in Matthew 27:52
And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose
Now thats some serious business! Jesus himself will be begin this Zombie Army, he even talks about it again in Ezekiel 37:12-14:
12-Therefore prophesy and say unto them, Thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, O my people, I will open your graves, and cause you to come up out of your graves, and bring you into the land of Israel.
13-And ye shall know that I am the LORD, when I have opened your graves, O my people, and brought you up out of your graves,
14-And shall put my spirit in you, and ye shall live, and I shall place you in your own land: then shall ye know that I the LORD have spoken it, and performed it, saith the LORD.
It seems though, that Lord Baby Jesus will start things off by invading Israel with his Zombie Army! Lord Necros won't even be able to save us at this rate! It will truly be every man, woman, and Child for themselves!
Never fear however, the Anti-Zombie Army is working in full force to keep the catastrouphy from hitting the dtoid nation. Praise the lord and Pass the ammunition men, I'm more excited about this than Rosie O'Donnell in the Titty bar! I truly am the Army of One! Please request pamplets on on your way out of this cblog, and you will receive them in the mail within 6-10 weeks on how you can join the fight against the Zombie Invasion!
Notice: I just felt like doing something completely stupid this morning.