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 living the dream since March 16, 2006 |
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but it has sound!
YEAH WHAT THE FUCK IT HAS SOUND
I DEMAND A FUCKING RE-REVIEW
WHO PAID YOU OFF WHORE
BIAS!! And, this game is amazing! Truly, undeniably amazing!
I just noticed you used the phrase "douchelocity," for which you are to be commended.
I'm glad you made the game, Anthony. Good for you, it's further than I've ever gotten. I also think it speaks well for games that stuff like this can come out. Another step closer for videogames to the sort of range we see in movies, all the way down to the deepest depths of unwatchability.
Maybe's it's just that I don't get "it". It kind of reminds me of Excite Bike without the sweet wheelies and epic jumps. Seriously, what the fuck is even going on in this "game"?!? Why the fuck are there doors on the path, and what the fuck are those red hurdles? And why the FUCK do those stupid speech bubbles (with pictures in, what the fuck is that about anyway?!?!?! PEOPLE DON'T TALK IN PICTURES, BRO!) completely block your view of your character?!!?!?!?
Is it supposed to be Bryan Intihar's Marathon Running with a story forced into it by marketing? You should tell your marketing department that digital downloads don't have a box to have a back that needs filling! Though quick aside, they DO need cover athletes, ask Samat.
Or is this your personal power fantasy game, Anthony Burch: Blood on the Sand, and instead of shooting down helicopters and breaking down bitches you've got a gang of hoes ready to jump your bones and you have to fight them off with a type writer because you're not gangsta enough to bring the heat?
I have a feeling you were going for something along the lines of Passage. I didn't get that either. You get older, can find a bitch who makes it hard to get the treasures, which are worthless because you just get to the end of the game and die before you can use them for anything. What the fuck?!?!
I did eventually finish the game (rocked my Jim Sterling-style [because I'm such a huge fan] and played only half of it for review) and it does make slightly more sense as a whole, though it also comes very close to breaking the douche-capacitor.
Atleast Rev's game is making people feel something. Even if it is extreme hate.
Thats pretty sweet.
This review is a 7 out of 11
Now, I'm no math rocket scientist nazi, but I think your Overall averaged all wrong. According to your scores, it averages to either a 1 or 3 (technically 2.67), depending on whether you're counting Douchelocity. Before you bark "who cares?", I'd like to give credit where it is due. Just sayin'.
Loogibot: Overall score isn't an average, what insane planet are you people living on? If it were an average what fucking point would there be in including it? Seriously, get with the program, son.
Douchelocity scoring makes this review instantly better than any game
Are you just angry because you have Human Papilloma Virus?
Rohrer put you up to this didn't he...?