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I DEMAND A FUCKING RE-REVIEW
WHO PAID YOU OFF WHORE
Maybe's it's just that I don't get "it". It kind of reminds me of Excite Bike without the sweet wheelies and epic jumps. Seriously, what the fuck is even going on in this "game"?!? Why the fuck are there doors on the path, and what the fuck are those red hurdles? And why the FUCK do those stupid speech bubbles (with pictures in, what the fuck is that about anyway?!?!?! PEOPLE DON'T TALK IN PICTURES, BRO!) completely block your view of your character?!!?!?!?
Is it supposed to be Bryan Intihar's Marathon Running with a story forced into it by marketing? You should tell your marketing department that digital downloads don't have a box to have a back that needs filling! Though quick aside, they DO need cover athletes, ask Samat.
Or is this your personal power fantasy game, Anthony Burch: Blood on the Sand, and instead of shooting down helicopters and breaking down bitches you've got a gang of hoes ready to jump your bones and you have to fight them off with a type writer because you're not gangsta enough to bring the heat?
I have a feeling you were going for something along the lines of Passage. I didn't get that either. You get older, can find a bitch who makes it hard to get the treasures, which are worthless because you just get to the end of the game and die before you can use them for anything. What the fuck?!?!
I did eventually finish the game (rocked my Jim Sterling-style [because I'm such a huge fan] and played only half of it for review) and it does make slightly more sense as a whole, though it also comes very close to breaking the douche-capacitor.
Thats pretty sweet.
Rohrer put you up to this didn't he...?