Welcome to my blog, Iím a hardcore Lurker here on Destructoid. Iíve been reading since about 6 months before I actually joined, and have only started commenting and posting in the forums pretty recently. Iím a child of the 80s, cut my gaming teeth on a Colecovision with Atari attachment (woo Combat!) and an XT PC where for some games you would have to delete data off of the two 10 megabyte hds to clear enough space to play certain games that used the hd to add to the 640k ram (who would need more?) But, I would go on to only have that and my original brick game boy to hold me over until I turned 18 (in 2002) when I finally picked up my first console since the coleco, an original playstation.
Nowadays, Iíve owned pretty much everything under the sun due to an unknowledgeable comic book store, garage sales, craigslist, and poor ebay descriptions (Thank you 20 dollar shipped box with working as best as it possibly could power glove and sega master system 3d glasses) After a purge during home/life limbo post-college graduation, Iíve now ended up with a collection of consoles that stay hooked up and used. Traded away are the 3do, turbografx-cd, but kept are all the basics, NES, SNES, N64, Gamecube, Genesis, Saturn, Dreamcast, Ps2, a not modded xbox with not every arcade game now that the arcades have closed down, a 360, and a wii. Yes those are the basics. The not basics are my Virtual Boy with Lamp-o-Tron mod, and the prize console, my Vectrex with Sean Kelly Multi-Cart.
Ever since that fateful Christmas where my brother and I unwrapped that brand new brick of a gameboy, I've always known I was no good at puzzle games. That fateful beginning of puzzle games, as you all know, was Tetris. It came with every single one of the original handheld gaming system, and I was the only one who couldn't play it. Something about those tetrominos just couldn't click in my brain, no matter how much I played that game.
Eventually I would get frustrated and bring the game over to my mom. She would play it on its hardest setting, and then give it to me so I could watch the full group of dancers dance on. This is a highlight of my childhood, just cause since I could never do it, it was always a treat to watch the ending.
I can watch that video over and over again, its so happy.
I've tried and I've tried to play different puzzle games through the years. I've played Dr. Mario, Tetris Attack, Snood, Bejeweled, Hexic, and failed at all of them. Over the years I've discovered my failure at puzzle games is typically related to patterns and falling objects. Anything related to the original thorn in my side of tetris will always cause me grief. But, this is not the limit of my pain. One of my favorite puzzle games is Mr. Driller, tons of fun, combos everywhere, good stuff. I'm completely awful at it though and it frustrates me to no end. I have the DS version and have played it enough where I should have unlocked more than 2 out of the 7 characters! I cannot beat the harder levels, no matter how long I struggle at it.
Classic puzzles are no better, Rubix cubes, Shanghai (tile matching mahjong), that peg jumping game with the golf tees, I can't even play solitare properly! I'll always miss placing a card, or not notice I can shift one pile onto another pile to uncover more cards. I won't even touch Sudoku, I think I'd claw my eyes out of I had to complete one of those.
The worst part about it is the fact that I don't know how bad I actually am until I watch anyone else play a game. I'll play a round and feel pretty accomplished that I didn't do too bad, and when I hand someone else the controller I slowly watch my high score get steamrolled by anyone. OR the other option is when I'm playing and they will start "helping" by pointing out what you miss. "Oh just shift that block there, wait! drop that over there! Left! Left!" I get it, you know what you're doing. Xbox Live doesn't make this any better cause I can now look at how much better my friends are than me IN ORDER.
Its not like I'm bad at math or patterns either! I've taken Calculus and done well! I know what a Taylor series is! But somehow these skills do not translate to the world of colorful blocks and shapes and patterns.
Give me Link, I'll get him through the dungeon. Master Chief, Cloud, Samus, I can get them all to the end. I'll get that checkered flag. I'll sing and play an instrument at the same time in rock band. Give me Mario as long as hes not a Doctor and I can take on whatever he throws at me, but the moment he puts on that clean white jacket and that shiny mirror thingy I fall apart. I suck at puzzle games.