I love Joss Whedon. Buffy was sex and vampires and sex and Sarah Michelle Gellar and sex. Angel was Alex Denisof being a fucking bad-ass while David Boreanaz was a puppet. So it was also good. And if you've never seen/heard/pleasured yourself to the fuck amazement that is Firefly, then you don't know what good tv is. Fuck Lost, fuck BattleStar, fuck Star Trek...Firefly is and always will be the best. (Geek disclaimer: I'm a fan of all the aforementioned shows despite me fucking them.)



So, Mr. Whedon, what glorious gift are you delivering to us now? Surely it will be something remarkable and well written like your other projects. Surely it will be sensational, full of well rounded characters and original story-lines and -- [click]

...pssh, hah! OK! So..that was just a bad promo. It's not really like that. It...it can't be...[click]

...aw fuck.

OK, so obviously I'm a little late talking about this show, but it's not my fault Fox puts it on Fridays at 8 so anyone with a god damn pulse wont be around to watch it. Actually, the only reason I watched it was because when I bought comics the other day (by the by, everyone should be reading or have read Y the Last Man and Kick Ass), and the bag they were put in had a promo for this show on it. So after Hulu-ing the first ep...here we are.

Now, I was willing to look past the fact that this show looks exactly like James Cameron's Dark Angel because I'm a huge Whedon fan. But after watching the first 5 minutes of this show, I was successfully able to give myself a blow job due to ripping out my own rib-cage in frustration. Which I did to make myself feel better. Fuck you, its not gay if you don't swallow.

Anyhoo. I'm not going to go through the episode because well...not a whole lot happened plot-wise. Basically the story of the episode was more aimed toward Ms. Penn, Eliza Dushku's temporary alter-ego. If you don't know the story behind the show, and you shouldn't if you have the ability to do mental math, basically Dushku plays this hot, emotionless drone named Echo that can have the personalities of other people implanted into her brain. Thus allowing her to take on their skills, intelligence and, awkwardly, their asthma attacks. Hence the name, Echo (Whedon You SLY BITCH!). Just think Ghost in the Shell meets I, Robot meets Eliza Dushku's ass. However, having this device kind of splits the plot completely.



On one end we have lost-in-ignorance-bliss, drone Echo, and on the other we have Echo of the Week. I'm calling her Echo of the Week because the way I see it, Whedon'll use this clever scheme to make Echo a different person each episode thus allowing her to get into a new problem each episode (Whedon YOu Slick BASTARd!). Now, while Echo of the Week (EOW) is pretty fun to watch, I was more intrigued by the drone Echo. Her side of the story seemed more surreal and Whedon-esque while the EOW seemed trapped in a bad TNT Cop Drama. Maybe it was just this particular EOW that sucked and it won't happen in the future. But who honestly believes that?

The show, simply put, is lacking. Lacking in fun characters, lacking in the light-hearted Whedonese family bonding, lacking in originality. Echo aside, the show's characters seem drab and perched so high up on their own pedestals, they're interchangeable. But maybe that's what Whedon is playing at, the fact that the people with personalities are more heartless than the protagonist who doesn't know who she is (FUCK WheDON! You Did iT Again, you SillY Tit!).

Whatever the reason, none of this shit really matters anyway. Because there' really only one reason men ranging from the ages of 15 to 35 are watching a show called Dollhouse...OK maybe two reasons...