Street Fighter Cast seen here is a horrifying portrayal.

After more than twenty years of game appearances, the cast of the acclaimed Capcom gaming staple Street Fighter have decided they've had enough of their shitty one-liners.


Context!

In an act reminiscent of 2007's writer's strike, Ryu, Ken, Chun-Li and rest of the iconic gang have decided to rewrite the set of default pre-battle and post-battle dialogue blips they're contracted to say for each game.

"Shit's getting old man," Ryu said. "Who gives a shit about the 'fury of my dragon punch?' How about instead I say, 'Yo, cocklips, let's dance.' "

Ryu, left, seen here with post-Ark of Covenant viewer, Bison.

With Super Street Fighter 4 just around the bend, many characters feel it's time to bring some originality and flare to the gaming franchise.


Fat Abs.

Fatty-McFat Fat Abs, E. Honda, said he doesn't understand why the writers chose such shitty sayings for the characters when they win a battle.

"No shitting, Vega used to say 'Thank you for a gorgeous time' back in Street Fighter 2 Turbo. You get that? A gorgeous time," he said. "What in the shit? I mean...damn man."

Other characters are less concerned with their "Win-Battle" quotes and more worried about what they have to say when they lose.

"Most of the time we're told to jump up and give a thumbs up or some stupid-ass intimidating stance," Guile, hair-fashion consigliere, said. "I just wanna get up and be like, 'Really? Really Blanka? You cheap, green, Brazilian fuck.' "


Latino

Capcom President Kenzo Tsujimoto said he understands his characters' concerns and promised to iron out the kinks before the next games release.

However, shortly after making this vow Tsujimoto killed himself when he realized he was empathizing with fictional video game characters.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh--," he said.

While most characters are griping about the games shoddy script, one cast member has completely different set of qualms with the next game.

"Granny-panties," Sakura, pedophile bait, said. "Granny-mother-fucking-panties."