Nah, just pulling your leg. But the latest gameplay videos on the holiest of sites look amazing. We still have basically the same layout with the weapons on the botton right and the items on the bottom left which make that cool little *beep* sound when opened. One cool new feature is the bribing system. If you help someone out by giving them an item they'll give you something in return (along with love hearts over their heads, how very jovial).

Also, Rex vs. Ray! Better get some buckets for the fanboy drool.

But it's still not going to make me get a PS3 (one if my housemates is going to fill that requirement quite nicely.

It is often said that we (gamers) are pasty freaks who live in our parents basement, occassionally emerging into the light for a snack or maybe a toilet break. Ok, so 45% of the time this may be true but i would argue that gamers will eventually be the saviours of the world or even the UNIVERSE.

If the walking dead rose and began chewing brains in the streets what would regular people do? They've never experienced this before. They would all die. Ah, but gamers, on the other hand, are savvy. We've played Resident Evil Zero through 4, House of the Dead, Dead Rising etc. We know that if anyone starts feeling "itchy" and "lumps of flesh start falling off" it's time to lop of their head with a spade. Gamers are a valuable part of society.



Ok, well, the walking dead is quite unlikely (we can only hope) but gamers have actually proven to have better hand eye co-ordination. Surgeons who play games for so many hours a day actually make fewer mistakes. That's right kids, if you want to be a doctor like that nice House guy then pick up a copy of Trauma Centre.



Also, since everyone in the future will be living in an online world; leaving their old meaty bodies behind, gamers will already know what it's like to live in virtual reality- 'cos they've been doing it for a long time anyway.

It's a miserable sight when I go into GAME and see a row of those wonderful touch generation pieces of crap and a bunch of mothers oogling them to see which one would be best for their child for christmas. What the hell?

Sight training, Left and Right, Vocabulary bull****, cook yourself stupid...both on the Wii and DS. For godsake release some real games. I know we just had Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass which rocks so much face, but do we need any more of these self improvement 'games'. Are they even proven to work? If you're blind, you're freaking blind.


I don't want HER playing MY goddamn DS!

But the sad thing is that these are the games that are mostly advertised on TV to the mass public. Parents think that this is what little Timmy wants when really Timmy wants f***ing Mario or Metroid Prime 3!

I know I'm going a bit OTT on this subject but these games really do piss me off. Games are meant to be fun, not a chore to keep up to date with.

Unless Brain Training lets me mow someone down with a gatling gun, what's the point?

Just checking out the newz (that's gang talk for recent events) when I came across this article. High-larious. You know what? I'm a guy and I'm not afraid to say that Hello Kitty rocks face. She's on my DS (as a sticker) and I have a keyring, no shame here, HK kicks major ass. Bring it on Master Chief'cos Kitty will bust your ass all over the joint.

I now dream of bieng a corrupt Thai Officer. Oh yes I do.

Here's August's release line up for Wii according to http://www.tothegame.com. If I were talking to you, you'd hear despair in my voice.

Boogie - Ok, this does look pretty cool. The dancing, singing, music video making stuff looks entertaining. The visuals are pretty sweet too, cell shaded goodness. Excite Meter - 7/10

Chicken Little: Ace in Action -The horror begins. Damn you Chicken Little. Damn you to a feathery hell. Excite Meter 1/10

Chicken Shoot - This has officially been rated the worst Wii game yet and I'm not sure if it can be beaten. The graphics are just awful, the game is repetitive and...well...you're just shooting chickens. What's with all these chickens? Excite Meter -67/10


The obviously isn't a god if this makes next gen!

Cosmic Family - A game for pre-schoolers developed by Ubi-Soft. Mini games. Excite Meter 0/10

Impossible Mission - Okay, a rehash of an 8-bitter. Secret agent, blowing stuff up, infiltration- sounds like this one could be ok, but I'm not holding my breath.
Excite Meter 5/10

Madden NFL '08 - I'm not a fan of sports games, expecially not American Football, but I think this is sure to be good due to it's predecessor's success.
Excite Meter 6/10

Tamagotchi: Party On! - Oh, hurray. Another wonderful Tamagotchi game. I really can't wait for this one. This, of course, is sarcasm. Oh, and it's a party game (duh). Excite Meter 4/10

Trauma Centre: Second Opinion - Thank god! Something that looks good! I love TC for the DS so I'm really looking forward to SO on the Wii. Apparently it's a lot tougher to get the accuracy, but I say it makes it more life-like. Excite Meter 9/10

Well, that's it for August. If there are any more the site didn't list or listed wrongly, be sure to post it. Anyhoo, have a great Sunday.

Quick! The slimes are massing!

I have to get this off my chest before I go on. I've never played a Dragon Quest game in my life. That feels so much better. Also, pretty sad because I love Enix and I love Dragonball, and Dragon Quest is kind of a merge of the two (artwise anyway), so I don't really understand why I've never played a game in the series.

2007/8 looks to be the time of the Dragon Quest. Dragon Quest Monsters: Joker is set for a November release for the DS I believe and Dragon Quest V is also coming to DS (although I'm not sure if it'll leave Japan). But the thing that got me really excited is the release for the Wii Dragon Quest Swords: The Masked Queen and the Tower of Mirrors.

The first thing you notice about DQS are the gorgeous visuals. The backgrounds are lush and the characters don't look all blocky! Thank god! I've not been particularly impressed with the Wii's graphics so far, and I know I'm not the only one. They seem to have been putting in more effort getting the motion controls right (which they still haven't got perfect) than making the visuals their tip-top best. the next reason this game excites me is exactly that, they seem to have got the controls right from the hands ons I've read. It will be a nunchuckless scheme, using only the wiimote for attacking and movement (with the d-pad I believe). The game utilises a first person camera view and attacking involves targetting an enemy and slashing with your sword vertivally, horizontally , diagonally, or thrusting forward fencing style. Cool!
Movement in the game is limited, going semi on the rails on the most part of exploration, but town exploration is fully off the rails.

Check out the gameplay footage!

To date, the game is looking really hot and I'll be following it each week to bring you news and new videos.