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I'm a gamer of all sorts (except sport & racing games).
I'm Scotch-Korean with a hint of Native American.
I'm 21
I got the nickname Gobun from playing Monster Hunter Freedom. I decided I was mainly going to be playing with the Bowgun. In my infinite cleverness, I switched the "B" and the "G" around and threw out the "W" in the word bowgun and BAM.
This is me.

I'm drunk as fuck in this picture and so is Starkey. Whatevs, I still look good.

Favorite Games
1. Donkey Kong Country 2
2. Dead Rising
3. Mother 3
4. Resident Evil (Gamecube)
5. Metal Gear Solid
6. No More Heroes
7. Bioshock
8. Super Smash Bros Brawl
9. Demon's Souls
10. Chrono Trigger

Games That Make Me Disapoint.
The Sabotuer.

My Art Gallery

By the amazing Manic Maverick

By the talented Zombieplatypus

Self Portrait

By the incredible Max Powers

Changston Dreams of the Sexiest Rivals by Zombieplatypus

By GatorSax2010

By the lovely Penis Dagger Conflict.

Y0j1mb0 draws my sex
Following (12)  

3:42 PM on 02.23.2014

Hey. Longtime no see. Yeah I'm still the same punk.

But ya'll already knew that.

How about a story? 

So up until a couple days ago i was really into LOADOUT, ya know the arena action shooter that came out about a month ago or whatever. It was a really great game and it was quenching my thirst for an action. The game boasted almost an unlimited possibility for customization in what you gun you can make and what it can shoot. You can make a kit that perfectly fits your play style and if you understood the basic mechanics of the game, you can stomp anyone that you come across.

My play style and philiosphy in an arena shooter is to kill anyone i come across in a 1v1 situation as fast as possible. You start out with 2 possible weapons with limited weapon parts. I started off with beam lasers for long range accuracy and a medium range shotgun for close encounters. Soon i found that the beam lasers weren't really doing very much for me due to the speed of game and the chance of a long range stand off were slim. Arena shooters focus on quick in-your-face action due to it being a 4v4 only team game, so the chances of you entering a no mans land kind of scenario are very slim. So I dropped the laser beam and built a rocket launcher.

The first weapon that LOADOUT gives you is a default single-fire rocket launcher that does about 50~ points of damage. I normally stay away from explosive weapons because i've always felt that they were kinda scrubby, but i decided to add it to my weapon kit because this isn't Call Of Duty and the rules here are completely different. Everyone in the game had a rocket launcher, what was I gonna do? Be the better man and not use it? Hell no, especially when i was getting a .25 KD every game. 

So I paired my 1/1 ammo clip rocket launcher that had a 2~ second reload time with a 8/8 clip short-medium range shotgun that took me some time to build due to the point system which gives you about a 1/2 less BLUTES (Loadout's experience based currency) if you dont buy the experience booster packs. I decided to buy some SPACEBUX (Loadout's version of money bought with real money) to buy the XP boosters to get ahead of the game and get the parts of guns i wanted slightly faster.

Within 3 matches, i had enough BLUTES to buy all the parts i wanted for BOTH guns, something that would have taken me weeks to do without the XP boost.

I mastered my kit, learned it strengths and weaknesses. If you were to encounter me in a 1v1 situation, I could kill you in less than 3 seconds because of my high burst potential of my weapons. A well placed rocket knocks a players health pool to a 25% and I would switch to my shotgun to finish the job. Shotguns are hipfire weapons, theres never a need to let yourself get vulnerable trying to fine aim and slow yourself down because the only thats affected is your range. If a player got too far away from my shotgun i would just switch back to my rocket launcher to finish the job. Very rarely did any players escape an encounter with me.

I was getting about 3.0 KDR every match. I would come across scrubs trying to run sniper kits and stomp their heads in because of the high manuverability of the dodge rolls and high jumps. People who had machine guns never had a chance because their chip damage was too low to damage my shields. Beam and electric weapons were pointless. The only thing that could really stop me was when i was outnumbered or someone had the same kit as i did. 

So I'm stompin and I realized i had no use for BLUTES anymore

...or so i thought.

I found something interesting in the tech tree: all the gun parts i was using were gaining experience and i thought "whats the point of that"? I looked into a little bit more I found that each weapon part had an xp cap of 30,000 and that you could use the BLUTES you've earned to upgrade the weapon parts to do more damage/reload faster/bigger explosions, but by 2.0 points. That barely sounds worth it, but every part had similar stats to compliment the other parts. I did the math, and my killing potential could be even stronger. So I bought another XP BOOSTER.

It took about 2 weeks, but a couple all-nighter play sessions and the XP BOOSTERS to get my gun parts get to 30,000. It was work, but it paid off. After i completely upgraded my rocket launcher its damage was boosted from 50~ to 65~, its reload time was reduced from 2 seconds to 1.5, it had a slightly bigger explosion radius, the rockets speed was faster, and the accuracy was pin point. I was, to put it frankly, BLOWING SCRUBS UP.

Everyone was complaining about me in every match i played. I'd here "WAH WAH WAH THE ROCKET LAUNCHER IS OP" and "YOURE A NOOB FOR USING THE ROCKET LAUNCHER" and at the time I just thought "what a bunch of cry babies". I'd stomp so hard I made people leave. I was feared. People knew Mr.Gobun and his deadly ladies(all guns should be named after women). It was a lot of fun for a while.

Then I got bored. 

Nobody I was fighting was actually challenging. I didn't really think about it too much I chalked it up to bad players and people building poor weapons, but there were games were I'd kill 40 people and die 4~ times. A lot of them actually. I was only losing games because of my team being incapable of understanding an objective. And then I noticed I was playing with the same people over and over again, and all of them had level 1 weapons compared to my level 11 rocket launcher and level 8 shotgun. I didnt know if the matchmaking was broken or something, but I wasn't having fun anymore. Nobody likes easy wins OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

So I looked at the whole picture. Why was I fighting a lot of the same players again? Why was I so overpowered? Why didn't anybody else have strong guns? 

And then I looked at LOADOUT's free-to-play system one more time and I realized how outrageously priced everything was. I realized how much money I dropped into this game over the past month and it was about 30 bucks. I'm not a rich guy, but I do have some disposable income towards video games because thats basically all I do. The payment system they have for SPACEBUX ranges from 1 real dollars to 20 real dollars as of now, all for imaginary junk.

 I thought "how can anyone other than me afford this game?" especially for a "Free-to-play" game and I realized NOBODY COULD and thats why I was playing with the same weak chuds over and over again. I came to the conclusion that people were probably ditching this game because of how overpowered players like me were.

Now I've played a fair amount of Free-to-Play games (2300 hours DOTA2, 164+ hours Super Monday Night Combat, 100+ hours Tribes Ascend to name a few) to know that certain payment systems do and dont work. A game like Tribes Ascend had the exact same system as LOADOUT's XP BOOSTER system and now is a dead game because it turned into a game of people who had money vs. people who didnt. Rich people were flying around with all sorts of OP classes that would blow you away because you were still stuck grinding with your soldier kit. That doesnt really promote a balanced game which drove a lot of players away from it and now no one plays it. 

I saw LOADOUT's problem and thought if they could change their FREE-TO-PLAY system (something similiar to DOTA2's profit off of affordable cosmetic items only) that it could possibly double the community and profit. They could bring down the astronomically high prices of cosmetic items and crowd-source stuff off of the community through the work shop while at the same time getting rid of the BLUTES SYSTEM and keeping the experience based tech tree and bringing the down the needed XP to upgrade your gun so it could be easier to obtain. All of this because I didnt want to see a game I liked to play die again.

Normally, complaints and suggestions like this are taken up to places like the developer forums but i decided to take it to TWITTER. Forums are great for interacting with people but are kind of archaic and slow and a lot of the times devs will just flat out ignore posts. I thought if I interacted with the @Loadout account they would maybe give me some insight into why things are they way they are and if my input was gonna help at all. I've tried voicing other concerns and compliments about the game before and never received an feedback and i noticed how the account was run.

Now you might not see very much going on here, but whats actually happening is this @loadout account just exists to smile and wave at people to put it plainly. In order for me to get the attention I needed I had to basically start a scene and it started with this tweet: 

I'm a pretty calm guy, but I dont appreciate having information thrown back at my face by some outsourced clown who doesn't understand free-to-play concepts. I backed up my statement with truth and even had some help of another twitter user:

and after about 40 minutes from his first reply, I get this: 

You know what that is? A slap in the face. That meant that'd he'd NEVER tell me the real reasoning behind they're free-to-play system and you know? That really sucks, and shows that this guy who's supposed to be representing an entire dev team has concept of customer service. Oh yeah, and it gets worse: 

A good friend called me out as a troll to help rock the boat and he fell right into the trap. What a jackass. How dare @Loadout call me a troll. You dont ever get to put down your customers if you're in some sort of public relations job, especially if you're representing someone else. Here's a picture of a bro backing me up and @loadout handling the situation it very poorly: 

Here's @Loadout refusing the notion that they're game is broken:

And eventually he stopped talking to me even after I requested to talk to a developer. 

So you know what that tells me?

This company isn't worth my time or money.

It also tells me a lot about how they handle things internally.

Now this is gonna be kind of a stretch based on the information I've given you, but I'm led to believe through their interactions that they have their old Free-To-Play system for two possible reasons:

-They're basically ignorant of the possible repercussions of creating a digital foot race through XP BOOSTS among its community and that it could lead to a dead game


-They've created a temporary pay-to-win system to try to earn as much money back as possible for the company that will eventually can the system for something else meaning
you've spent money for nothing for things that will be free eventually.

To make a really long story short, Loadout isn't worth your time or money and should be uninstalled if you haven't already. You're being used and they really dont care about any concern you have. 

True story, and my ballsack is black. Go ahead, ask away.

10:35 PM on 07.31.2012

[Editors Note: I have a drinking problem]

Who gets the last slice of cake?
Who will ride shotgun on the way home?
Who gets to be player 1?
When calling dibs fails, theres only one way to settle a conflict:
Rock. Paper. Scissors.

Rock, Paper, Scissors (Hands)
Developer: People
Publisher: Japan
Released: TBA
MSRP: Free-To-Play

Developed by really old Chinese men (probably over a dispute on who has to make rice for dinner), it became an instant hit in its Alpha. It spread through out the Orient becoming the game of choice for poor Japanese fishermen who they then taught Roman sailors how form their hand into the various weapons in which to play the game. Probably, I only skimmed the wiki.

Early concept art

The main object is to transform your hand into shape at the same time your opponent does and hope you win. People tend to pick items that are akin to their personality (Ex: rock means you're a very strong individual). Theres some strategy involved, but only asspies really look for algorithms and all that witchcraft.

Here is a quote from the Roman instruction manual to get you on your way to play this simple game:

'In this game the closed fist represents a stone, the open hand with fingers outstretched paper, and the closed fist with two fingers outstretched scissors...The players stand facing one another, and commence playing simultaneously by raising and lowering the right arm three times rapidly, coming to rest with the fist in any of the three above-mentioned positions. If you keep your fist closed and your opponent flings open his hand then you lose, as paper wraps up stones, and so on.' - A hairy man

Note: You cannot play this game if you don't have hands

The game is traditionally played best two outta three, but it can go on to three outta five if your opponent wants to be a bitch about it cause hes a fuckin loser. Penalties for extending the rounds include:
-Owing you a soda
-Being jinxed for an hour
-Doing your dishes

This game gets some docked some points for not having any story mode since its only a multiplayer game. Normally, its only two people that duel but you can have any number of people play at once using the mod "Process of elimination" meaning if you lose, you have to go sit your ass in the corner and watch the blood shed. Matches last anywhere from 10 seconds to a whole minute. Custom games can include weapons such as "Volcano" and "Pistol" and the unpopular "Church Steeple" for more refreshing gameplay.

Bros in heated battle

Although its rated E for everyone, it should taken into consideration for an M rating for the repercussions. Sometimes the loser will call you an asshole and sock you in the arm. Other times winners have a tendency of humping the opponent head as a form of dominance. It is advised to have a third party to referee the matches taking place.

Overall, this is a game everyone who has hands should play. It's an instant classic.

Photo Photo Photo

Como esta bitches? Yeah it's been a while and I kinda wanna get back into this whole blogging thing which I'm not really good at. Dixon said "Gobungasms" as apposed to "Gobunisms" and it struck a nerve so deep, that it made me fire this wordhole up again.

Anyway, as ya'll know; I hate everything. In the words of one of my good friends: "Gobun can never be happy, he can only be less angry". Wise mother fucker.
But sometimes, I hate things a lot less.
So I'm gonna utilize my third grade writing skillz to tell you about, ya know, shit that I THINK is pretty cool and stuff thats not so cool.

Welcome. Hugs. Butt hugs.

No time to waste:

Dopest thing at E3 so far that I've seen:

Motherfucking Dogs that Watch. Did you see this shit? No? Are you stupid? Nod your head up and down because you done fucked up big time. This game. This game. This game. Let me pull out a fucking graph:

Look at the fuckin graph. Now look back down here. Thanks. Okay so yeah that fucking trailer blew my fucking mind. Thank you Ubisoft, thank you for not fucking up for once. I mean like, did you see that shit man? Like when he pulled his phone out and sapped everyones cellular devices, bitch with the hair screamed out "WAH HAPPEN TO MAH PHONE". Think about how many relationships you can ruin with that. What about that club thing? Mother fucker had a cube head and wanted to get you drunk. He was like "Would you like a drink?" and your guy was like "Nah" and cube head was like "Aight". There were like tight fuckin bleep bloops playin around while you scanned peoples profiles AND THERE LEGIT WAS A BLACK GUY WITH AIDS. EXCUSE ME. DONT WANT YOUR AIDS BRO. Then you whipped out a sick fuckin baton and beat some fucker up. Batons are SO indie right now in the underground weapon science. None of you people even know.

Then there was gunplay and I fell asleep.

But still, concept seems megadope. Maybe even ultradope. I'm very excited about this IP and I can't wait to see more of it.

You rike bleep bloops

Oh you don't like bleep bloops? The fuck out my face.
Jay kay ecks dee face.
Oh wait you do? Why aren't you listening to this shit? Are you stupid?
Allow me to elaborate with these words:
8-bit. Chiptune. House. Dubstep.
Actually its more like post dubstep, theres maybe one drop on the entire album which is okay by me.
Regardless, this album gets the nerdy booties twerkin and fist pumpin werkin. You can jam to this thing all night long, its dope. I highly suggest it, especially if you're into dope bleep bloops.

I ain't linking it here, google that shit bitch.

Last thing on the list of things that are cool this week:

Wine. Nothing specific

You like alcohol right? You got to if you're involved with this industry. Wait, you dont like wine? Jesus, are you stupid?

I'm not laughing.

Anyway, as may you have seen my disgusting drunk tweets on twitter, I'm training to be a wine sommelier. Basically, I go around tasting wine for living and telling people what to buy in their store or restaurant or hotel AKA I'm a fancy drunk. I test wines every other night because I don't wanna go full blown alchy.

So this old grape juice, pretty legit. You should try some wine, like go to your store, speak to the wine buyer and tell him things you like to drink. You cant say anything wrong. Really, you can't. S'all about your pallet and if you know what you like and if the buyer is halfway decent, he'll pick something for you you'll love.


Also, cant get fat off wine.

Thats it, Gobun out.
Photo Photo Photo

Blah blah blah, it's me, Gobun. Lets be honest, I'm jumping on this bandwagon because I love myself some attention and it seems to be my only form of nourishment these days.

Bonus: I lost 30 weights since the picture on the right column. Beastmodo

10. I'm 6'1. 6'2 on a good day.
Above average height master race reporting in. Feels good man. I've met some of you people and ya'lls be small. Or freakishly lanky *COUGH MAX COUGH*

9. I'm slowly destroying myself for the greater good with cigarettes. Progressing very well so far.
Best part is, I'm enjoying it. Mmmmm mmmmmm.

8. I've had this leather cap since I was about 17.
Which means this hat will have been around for almost 5 years. I love this fucking hat.

7. I'm an attention whore. Lets not kid ourselves.
I dunno what it is. I'd say issues, but more like volumes.

6. If you look up the word "Vanity" in the dictionary, you can see a picture of me doing a duck face.
If you counted how much time I spend looking at myself in the mirror everyday you'd get about 20 minutes. Easily.

5. I rarely play video games anymore.
These past couple months, it feels like all of my technology is breaking around my. This computer I'm typing to you on is on its last legs as it is. No more consoles except my fucking Wii and 3DS. Overall though, I'm pretty bored with all its got to offer me lately. Everything is starting to feel really samey, and just kind boring to me. It doesn't help that shit like "On disc DLC" exists either. Haven't bought a capcom game since, what? MvC3. Fuck that noise dude. Sure it might be a fucking business. But I like to think of it like this: "Would you pay an extra 5 dollars for a movie ticket (That already costs 13 dollars in my area) to see the first 15 minutes of the movie you already payed admission to?". Fuck that, I got other shit to do like...

4. Listening to a fuck ton of music.
It's been a long way since I've been that guy that only listens to hits. Or single tracks. I have about 30 days of continuous play of music, and thats not me bragging. Thats me saying I'm still way off from what I would like to say is a "decent" collection of music. Here are some opinions as well as other shit:

>"The Avalanches - Since I Left You" continues to be my favorite album of all time. Feel bad saying it, but found them through the YTMND soundtrack back when I stomped around there when they were still good.

>"Nullsleep - Supernova Kiss" is the most emotional chiptune album you'll ever hear
>Can't get into "The Mars Volta". I'm sorry as fuck.
>"Sleigh Bells - Reign of Terror" was pretty solid album. Had some weak songs though.
>I like modern ragtime/freakfolk/hobocore/folkpunk/fuckidunnoman
>Took me about a year and a half to get into the Animal Collective as well as Neutral Milk Hotel. But I finally understand those feels.
>I would totally bang Kreayshawn's Mom. She used to be in garage/surf punk bands. Look her up

Which brings me to:

3.I love me some cute chubby girls
No not morbidly obese. Good lord get that image out of your head. I dunno bro, I'm just like way more physically attracted to thicker women. Most skinny women don't do anything for me. Most of em are also the most boring people I've ever met. Jesus. I'm just like, what do you do other than party? Nothing? Okay. Great.

2. Lately, I've been called hipster a lot. Thas kewl I guess. Although I consider myself more indie (hurr)
But for realizies, what the fuck does it even mean to be a hipster anymore? It's funny because I see the word "hipster" as just another buzzword to describe something as "different or something I don't fucking understand". Das cool though, go ahead.

1. Around this time 3 years ago, I posted a picture of myself completely nude on the forums. Only thing in the picture that was covering my junk was a Game Boy Micro which was made possible by a brilliant tuck job done by yours truly.
Why did I do it? For pewps and teehees and because I had to beat someone at their own game. Too bad I lost the picture forever.

Thats it. The most I've fucking written in a long time.


0. I love talking to people, actually.
As much as I love to say I hate almost everything, talking and being around people is something:
A. I'm really good at (So I think)
B. Something I like doing
Especially meeting other Destructoid members. All of you are way more interesting than myself.

About a week ago, I sent Max Scoville a picture of my left foot.

Glorious Gobun leg hair

Fabu Gobun work shoe

Sensual Gobun loving

Max fondles some book I've never heard of

Playing on my 3DS

Max has his foot loved up on by Skeletor

Glorious and manly Gobun foot blister skin

Max spoons with a unicorn

Time for a change of battlefield, Max. Your move:

My left foot enjoys Djarum Blacks in bed for some reason.