Dear Destructoid: Pika-Jenn needs a good avatar parent - Destructoid

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Hello, my name is Jenn and I'm a lover of games and student-dentist in SF. I live with my boyfriend (Max), our idiotic cat-monster (Brinkjob) and a classmate of mine from dental school (Sam). We drink too much and think too little. Or is it the other way around?

Fantasy games are my favorite. If I had to score Final Fantasy Tactics Advanced I would give it "BLOWJOBS/10" because reasons. I picked up Skyrim and proceeded to get into fights with Max over whose turn it was for the next 3 months. Sometimes we're best friends but usually I just need him to SHUT THE FUCK UP I WANT TO BE A LIZARD WIZARD, AGHH.

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I am filled with bubbling green jealousy towards all of you who are attending PAX. While you're all galavanting about, making blurry memories, I'll be here - looking at graphic photos of horrifying things like oral cancer and Sarah Jessica Parke (I just started watching Sex and the City) [NSFL]. The point is, everybody needs to floss.

Just kidding. I want you to adopt my avatar (but you should still floss anyway).

Unfortunately, since my mac died, I don't have a high-res photo of my present avatar. I do however have Pika-Jenn who is my avatar over in the dtoid forums.


You might be asking why I'm looking for an avatar parent when my very own roommate is going to be attending PAX. "But Jenn," you might say, "Aren't you and Max Scoville doing the whole boyfriend girlfriend thing? Wouldn't he make the perfect avatar-parent?" Yes and no.

First of all, him adopting my avatar would be sort of weird, incestual, reverse-Woody Allen type situation. HI, I ADOPTED MY GIRLFRIEND. Ew.

Secondly, have you met Max? He's pretty flighty and his twitter addiction makes me wonder if he'd have the mental capabilities to remember snapping a picture with my avatar before he started tweeting about that incredibly sexy bikini girl in stilletos. UM I WAS GOING TO DO FUN THINGS WITH YOUR AVATAR BUT THEN A BOOTH BABE TOUCHED ME AND I DROPPED IT LIKE YOUR STANDARDS.

Lastly, I live with him, I have enough pictures of the two of us doing things together. I would much rather be hanging out with people I don't see on a regular basis.

So, now that we've gone over that stuff, here's a list of reasons why you should adopt Pika-Jenn:

1. She was the source of much controversy when she first arrived on the dtoid Cblog scene. You know what people think of when they thing controversy? Prince. Er, the artist formerly known as Prince. And you know what? Prince is fucking awesome. So there.

2. Carrying Pika-Jenn around is like a combination of having a Chobit and Pokemon, except she's a dentist. THE INTRIGUE.

3. She will be the perfect accessory if you plan on wearing yellow.

4. Asians are all patron saints of arithmetic. Need to impress that girl you asked out to dinner by quickly calculating the tip in your head? Well, Pika-Jenn is there for you (just take the tax, move the decimal to the right one space, and double it).

And there you have it. Please adopt my avatar, Pika-Jenn would love to see Seattle.

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