Today's blog post is brough to you by the letter M.
I think I'm getting a handle on this banner thing.
Before I get started, I'd like to establish some common ground about Metroid: Super Metroid is the greatest Metroid game ever made, one of the greatest adventure platformers ever constructed, and if it doesn't land in your Top Fifty -- And I'm Being Mega
Generous There -- Games Of All Time Ever, you should make for the nearest exit.
Also the Kraid theme
is the best of the Metroid themes. Sayin'.
Since it was announced, I have been sitting on the fence about Other M. Of course, being a Metroid fan, I'm presently suffering the affliction of omigod omigod new metroid omigod IWILLBUYFIVE
. But the problem is, the more I heard of Other M, the more apprehensive I became. For instance this trailer
Here are the things I do not
go to a Metroid game for:
-- I am a bounty hunter working for the Galactic Federation, and my soul's desire is to shoot some Zebsian upstarts in the face. Along the way I discover that - gasp and shock - there be metroids. Again
. And, as with all things, I will shoot those
in the face. In fact, anything that isn't me on the screen gets shot, and I will aim high. It's all I need, and it's how I roll.
Compelling Narrative with Wonderful Voice Acting
-- Actually, I don't go to any game for this. But here's the problem with having a character who rarely-to-never speaks being handed a microphone: no matter how hard you toil, no matter how you work over your script -- and since we're talking about video games, let's be honest with ourselves, an intern was asked to "bang something out" in their off-hours because most games don't care about script -- no matter how much effort you put in, the Samus Aran you create will never be cooler than the Samus Aran in our minds
. (For the love of God, though, please let's have learned from the "Well excuuuse me, princess!" fiasco. We still remember.)
Insight Into Samus Aran's Fashion Sense
-- I'm not particularly interested in how the Galactic Federation issue garb clings to her svelte form. Nor am I curious how she decides to accessorize fucking green khaki, because ladies, nobody's accessorizing camo. That was a mistake we made in the 90s and we are still collectively regretting it. Put her in a Chozo suit and let her do work
. Those metroids aren't going to ice-missle themselves.
Don't get me wrong. Attention being paid to story in a game is an excellent thing. It's why Bioshock did so well. It's why so many people keep pushing Dragonage into my hands, despite that I haven't 100+ hours to sink in any game these days. It's why I keep replaying Silent Hill 2 when I need to decompress. (That, or watch Legally Blonde. You know how it is.)
But Metroid isn't really on that list. Metroid is where I go when I want to be a badass travelling through space and shooting things.
Yes, they do have a story of sorts stringing you along, starting on one planet only to find that the rabbit hole does indeed go deep
, deeper than previously thought. It wouldn't be particularly clever of the space pirates to limit their operations to Brinstar. And while I appreciate the attempts to lure you into a false sense of security, to have you ask if perhaps this time
those assholes from Zebes have something new up their sleeves, phason, dark Samus, whatever, it's a Metroid game. I'm waiting for little bulbous creatures to haunt my every move. It's what they do
. It's why I'm here
But then we get a trailer like this and I get optimistic.The new trailer features gameplay. And I'm not talking about the piddly gameplay we saw in the E3 2009 trailer. I'm talking "this is how you hold your wiimote, this is how mans gets shot" gameplay.
I'm not a fan of the WiiMote. It's a big reason why my Wii collects dust. When my hands lay in my lap, at rest, completely void of tension, they assume a position which can easily accomodate a controller offering four buttons under each thumb, and perhaps triggers. The WiiMote has been a direct path to tendinitis, which I already have, thanks, and don't particularly like to be reminded about.
Thusly, the primarily-normal controls of this game make me excited
. Metroid Prime 3 was a pain to play, in a literal sense, my hand was uncooperative. I'm really stoked on this new trailer. I'm finally getting eager about this new addition to the Metroid series. But, as ever, I am cautiously optimistic. Because you never know.