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Probally the best ds game you'll play.
garc4475 | 8:00 PM on 12.17.2008 57 comments


"Probably the Greatest Game You'll Ever Play" Cory in the House is just fantastic. There is no way around it. Cory has been entertaining us for years on the Disney Channel, and finally he can entertain us on the Nintendo DS. I don't know about you but when I heard of Cory on the DS I was as giddy as when I go to church (I'm a Catholic schoolboy so I love to go to church). Cory is just, amazing. This game is amazing. This game is perfect. Cory in the House may seem like your typical platformer but oh no, it is far from it. Cory is out to save the world from an evil scientist who has decided to turn Cory's bobble-head doll of the president, or as Cory likes to say 'the prez' into a destructive force capable of destroying destructive things such as the world which is destructible. Cory runs, Cory jumps, and Cory uses his kung-fu action to blast his way through 9 levels of platforming/action goodness reminiscent of a good Jackie Chan meets That's So Raven meets Cory in the House show. Players utilize the touchscreen in such was as to slide their finger across the screen horizontally in order to make Cory karate chop or slide their finger across the screen vertically in order to make Cory do a kung-fu kick. Furthermore, players can blow into the mic and make Cory shoot fireballs from his mouth. Talk about awesome. The enemies in Cory in the House are extremely varied and well thought out. Typical enemies include ninjas and Russian scientist, but later in the game Cory begins fighting against people he initially thought were his allies. Probably the most impressive boss was the giant robot Raven in which players had to run up to her feet and breath fireballs at her chest. Being a relatively early on boss this heightened players expectations immediately and brought about the sense that this is one of the greatest games ever. The graphics and music are phenomenal. Cory is detailed brilliantly. Every little detail of Cory's beautiful and masculine body is clearly visible and downright pleasing to look at. When Cory sweats, the sweat drips down his pecs and glistens against his tight abdominals. The music which accompanies the various action is epic and mindblowing. The score is fully orchestrated with cellos, violins, and the clashing of cymbals. Overall, Cory in the House is a must play. Simply put, you must play this game if you enjoy videogames or enjoy having fun. With a fantastic story, insanely innovative gameplay, amazing graphics, and an unparalleled score, Cory in the House stands leagues above the competition. This game isn't a game; it is an experience, it is an art. And who can argue? Cory in the House is one of the greatest games ever. Reviewer's Score: 10/10, Originally Posted: 12/02/08 Game Release: Cory in the House (US, 04/15/08)



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50 comments | showing # 1 to 50
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pendelton21's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 20:17
pendelton21
You're trying way, way, way too hard, kid.
007's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 20:18
007
Hey, this is too funny. GTFO, or get more cereal.
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 20:20
MrSadistic
This is worse than that time some guy randomly reviewed Cory In The House for the Nintendo DS... ah wait..
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 20:26
MrSadistic
I am this close from going inside you.
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 20:29
MrSadistic
Sure. You supply the Arby's and I will supply the box wine!
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 20:32
blehman
Fuck that. Shampoo is better.

CONDITIONER IS BETTER
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 20:35
king3vbo
STOP LOOKING AT ME SWAN
007's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 20:42
007
Wait... am I supposed to get angry at this guy?


mah bad.
Rifter01's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 20:45
Rifter01
Obvious ... is.. uh.. wut?
DrachulaX's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 20:49
DrachulaX
...Ohhhh, I get it.
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 20:55
MrSadistic
Yeah, stop being so rigged (???)
Mushman's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 20:56
Mushman
..........................................
Jesus H Christ's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 21:13
Jesus H Christ
God damn this is the best blog ever. I'm not being sarcastic.
Daxelman's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 21:25
Daxelman
Heretic:

BLOODS BITCH.
MEE's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 21:26
MEE
@thunderheart : that sums up pretty much half the blog posted recently.
braulio09's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 21:28
braulio09
Why did I read this!?
pendelton21's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 21:29
pendelton21
Also, garc, get an profile pic as soon as possible. Otherwise, you can't come to our Christmas party.
Takeshi's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 21:30
Takeshi
"This account is currently banned from the GameTrailers.com community."

I see, you needed a new trolling site.
garison's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 21:33
garison
I want to put babies into Corey.

Most amazing review EVAR, people are only hating on you because you don't have an avatar. Also, your header image is a little too small for us to see. Maybe if you just blew it up just a teensy bit, that would be great.

Also, .
garison's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 21:37
garison
I LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH!!!!!
garison's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 21:37
garison
Fucking troll.
Mushman's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 21:39
Mushman
Man, I do love the comment sections on fail blogs, so many laughs can be had. :)
NotAZombie's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 21:42
NotAZombie
Garison, wtf?
007's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 21:44
007
Wait...

Why is this a fail blog? I laughed... Was this stolen from somewhere or something?
Takeshi's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 21:53
Takeshi


If you make sweet love to MrSadistic please let me watch.
grassr00ts's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 22:02
grassr00ts
Takes- errr Sadistics sex slave

That .gif is fucking disturbing.
bluexy's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 22:09
bluexy
MORKWENGGGGGG

first comment
Mushman's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 22:13
Mushman
So disturbing it has to be reposted!!




Also, 007, dude this is a fail blog, c'mon you seriously think otherwise??

I mean it has all the hallmarks of a troll blog, and the shit he talks back in the comment section enforces that.

It might make you laugh, sure, but a retard could make a more 'substantial' blog, and better word it too. :)
ace of knaves's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 22:13
ace of knaves
This is either the worst blog ever to grace Destructoid or the greatest piece of journalism ever produced. I honestly have no idea which.
Krow-Kupo's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 22:14
Krow-Kupo
Takeshi! Why are you a sex slave?

/V/ Meme..
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 22:16
MrSadistic
I dunno, but takeshi is starting to creep me out since Hamza said he would change his name back whenever he wanted... and uh that was quite a while ago.
garison's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 22:19
garison








Troll blog deserves everyting it gets.
Qraze's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 22:34
Qraze
this was great! i didn't even read the blog. the pictures said it all
ZekeThePlumber's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 22:35
ZekeThePlumber
Feels awfully 4chan in here.
norm9's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 22:49
norm9
I thought it was pretty funny. Got a couple audible guffaws.
Mushman's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 22:56
Mushman
Come on. lets get to fifty!!
Puppy Licks's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/17/2008 23:25
Puppy Licks

Just fuckin relax aye!
Clockwork's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/18/2008 00:11
Clockwork
The nexus of the internet is at this blog. Whatever that means.
Endstiem's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/18/2008 00:28
Endstiem
Holy fuck this is awesome.
Aziel13's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/18/2008 01:29
Aziel13
my prayers have been answered
nebones's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/18/2008 03:13
nebones
lol wat?!
bottled dark's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/18/2008 10:50
bottled dark
i think this is one of those cases where the fail imploded into some sort of win-ish anti-matter.
Arttemis's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/18/2008 10:51
Arttemis
Troll exhibit on display now!

Takeshi's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/18/2008 12:06
Takeshi
I'm not going to change my name back!

@Mushman
50!
garison's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/18/2008 21:36
garison
I hope you never change your name back.

I cum everytime I read one of your comments.
shinigamiDude's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/29/2009 03:12
shinigamiDude
I also played this game and give 10/10.
It actually makes me feel like Cory is really in my house, in my bedroom and I can see clearly that " When Cory sweats, the sweat drips down his pecs and glistens against his tight abdominals ".

SCORE!!!!
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