With our beloved Anthony Burch gone, the Monthly Musings have left for now, and a gaping hole blown into the usual flow of community blogs that keep dull news weekends interesting here on Destructoid. However Xzyliac, Antwhan, Guncannon, and I have decided to set up our own community effort to keep up the Monthly Musings. If you want to write a monthly musing start it off with “Runs in the Family:” then whatever you want. Be sure to use the monthly musing tag though just like always.
All of us, at one time, have had family. Gaming can provide a great shared experience with them. I spent countless hours playing Goldeneye, Mario Kart, and Mario Party with my family. Not to mention the countless times I died in Mario 3 while playing with my cousin.
In this Monthly Musing, write about gaming and your family. Write about how you got your parents to game; the hundreds of hours you spent playing Mario Kart with your siblings; or how you are having trouble getting your family to understand your interest in Video Games. Whatever you write, it must involve gaming, and your Family.
Artcast is recording tonight. As the cast roll for this week we have Anthony Burch, Rod Humble, Jonathan Blow, and Me. We will be discussing a couple of things, Starting with the human condition and the meaning of life on earth. We will discuss the way to improve games as a medium, when gaming will get its own citizen kane, and why all mainstream games suck. We will also discuss why making money is contrary to the artistic process and why if you are a artist you must be a starving hobo. In the end of our session for the last hour (the podcast will probably be 12 hours long, and require multiple torrents to download.) we will take listener questions. For your question to be accepted, it must be thoughtful and provoking, and the user must include a picture of themselves wearing a scarf.
Processing Power What you may not know is that the Destructoid servers don't have REAL processing power. What most people don't realize is that the Destructoid server is, in fact, a Commodore 64.
Yes, that means that the Destructoid servers can not run Crysis. As we all know, Crysis is the benchmark in which all computers are judged, and if it is inadequate of running this magnificent game, then the system is junk. This means that the Destructoid servers are junk. What you may also not know is that the Destructoid robot is, in fact, made from a refurbished Atari 2600.
Those systems cannot run the complex physix calculations required for true journalizing, If they tried, they would like explode or something.
Jim Sterling As we all know, Jim Sterling is worse then aids, cancer, and comic sans combined, and his scourge ruins anything he touches. It wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't both a blatant Sony/Microsoft fanboy. Unfortunatly, he is still part of this site, meaning that the entire site is now full of bias. As we all know, true Journalizing cannot be near bias, so that means that Destructoid is not journalism.
Destructoid is bad for serious journalizing Yes, Destructoid makes Kotaku, Ign, Game Trailers, and all the other legit game journalizings look bad. This makes video games look bad, thusly making art look bad. Art is something you buy when you are at museums, which means that it makes them look bad. People write about museums, making journalizing look bad. That is a vicious cycle that we must break.
Destructoid is not the same market as other journalizings. Destructoid goes after a different market then other journalizings. This market must be inharetly worse then the other market. I do not want to identify myself with this market, so I will not grace it with the title of journalism.
Destructoid has men writers who pose as women As we all know, there are no such things as women on the internet. It is a scientific fact that all women are the internet are actually men. This means that some of the Destructoid staff are lieing to us. Journalism cannot stand by lies, meaning that Destructoid is not journalism.
BEHOLD, THE TRUTH
Disclaimer: I wrote this when I was tired. I cannot be held responsible for the fail that I have created at this late hour. Please forgive this blog.
I was just surfing destructoid when the brilliant idea struck me. What if I photo shopped nick chester in the guitar hero box. Latter on I thought, What if I put the faces of the destructoid editors in their favorite games. Today I decided to actually do so. I put each of the editors either in a game they like, or their favorite game's box. I tried to get all the editors, however I am rather new so I don't know about all of them. Not only this, but I had trouble finding pics of some of the editors. So if you are reading this and you arn't included, I am sorry. Also, I would have put samit in a baseball game, but the way the pictures were prevented me from (easily) shopping them. But without further adu, here are the pics
Subject: Review of Review of the Review of the Review of the Review of the Review of the Saboteur
Released: December 5, 2009
I found this review to be severely lacking. The review itself was only 2 paragraphs for Christ sake. Not only this, but it only had one image. I expect blogs to have more then 3 sentences. Not only this, but this has forced me to write a awfully meta blog. I hate it when I have to write meta-blogs. This has also forced me to write a short-blog that will most likely end up in Failtoid.
I found that Jim's review was the best. Random bullseye gave jims review a reasonable score. Elsa overrated the blog (probably got payed off by Randombullsye). Kraid was obviously trolling for page views because of the low score he gave to Elsa's review. Tubatic goes back to the reasonable score. I find that as a good thing. It is always wise to not over or underate a review(or game) as if you do so, you are probably trolling.
However I cannot recommend buying Tubatic's review at its amazingly steep price. Not only did I have to pay 1 million yen, I had to pay a hefty conversion fee. The final price came up to 15,000 dollars. I find this to much for a game that is lacking in content. I recommend a rent on this one, or borrowing your friends copy(Or piracy). Anything is better then having to pay the enormous price for tubatics review.
Score: 4.5 -- Below Average (4s have some high points, but they soon give way to glaring faults. Not the worst games, but are difficult to recommend.)