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1:51 PM on 05.10.2010

Monthly Musing:Runs in the Family

With our beloved Anthony Burch gone, the Monthly Musings have left for now, and a gaping hole blown into the usual flow of community blogs that keep dull news weekends interesting here on Destructoid. However Xzyliac, Antwhan, Guncannon, and I have decided to set up our own community effort to keep up the Monthly Musings. If you want to write a monthly musing start it off with “Runs in the Family:” then whatever you want. Be sure to use the monthly musing tag though just like always.

All of us, at one time, have had family. Gaming can provide a great shared experience with them. I spent countless hours playing Goldeneye, Mario Kart, and Mario Party with my family. Not to mention the countless times I died in Mario 3 while playing with my cousin.

In this Monthly Musing, write about gaming and your family. Write about how you got your parents to game; the hundreds of hours you spent playing Mario Kart with your siblings; or how you are having trouble getting your family to understand your interest in Video Games. Whatever you write, it must involve gaming, and your Family.

If you would like a example of what would be a great blog for this musing, here is one by Andrew Kauz.

Whatever you do, make it personal, and interesting. Remember to tag it with “Monthly Musing” and start the title off with “Runs in the Family."   read

6:10 PM on 04.17.2010

Forum Adventures, Guest edition. [Shortblog]


I made a comic with some of the forum members as the characters of scooby doo. Yes, I used lined paper, deal with it. That is all. Tell me what you think, I am not as skilled as Gobun.   read

1:41 AM on 04.01.2010

Artcast Recording today(Scarves Mandatory), Give us some Questions

Artcast is recording tonight. As the cast roll for this week we have Anthony Burch, Rod Humble, Jonathan Blow, and Me. We will be discussing a couple of things, Starting with the human condition and the meaning of life on earth. We will discuss the way to improve games as a medium, when gaming will get its own citizen kane, and why all mainstream games suck. We will also discuss why making money is contrary to the artistic process and why if you are a artist you must be a starving hobo. In the end of our session for the last hour (the podcast will probably be 12 hours long, and require multiple torrents to download.) we will take listener questions. For your question to be accepted, it must be thoughtful and provoking, and the user must include a picture of themselves wearing a scarf.   read

1:19 AM on 02.19.2010

Why Destructoid is not a real journalism

Processing Power
What you may not know is that the Destructoid servers don't have REAL processing power. What most people don't realize is that the Destructoid server is, in fact, a Commodore 64.

Yes, that means that the Destructoid servers can not run Crysis. As we all know, Crysis is the benchmark in which all computers are judged, and if it is inadequate of running this magnificent game, then the system is junk. This means that the Destructoid servers are junk. What you may also not know is that the Destructoid robot is, in fact, made from a refurbished Atari 2600.

Those systems cannot run the complex physix calculations required for true journalizing, If they tried, they would like explode or something.

Jim Sterling
As we all know, Jim Sterling is worse then aids, cancer, and comic sans combined, and his scourge ruins anything he touches. It wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't both a blatant Sony/Microsoft fanboy. Unfortunatly, he is still part of this site, meaning that the entire site is now full of bias. As we all know, true Journalizing cannot be near bias, so that means that Destructoid is not journalism.

Destructoid is bad for serious journalizing
Yes, Destructoid makes Kotaku, Ign, Game Trailers, and all the other legit game journalizings look bad. This makes video games look bad, thusly making art look bad. Art is something you buy when you are at museums, which means that it makes them look bad. People write about museums, making journalizing look bad. That is a vicious cycle that we must break.

Destructoid is not the same market as other journalizings.
Destructoid goes after a different market then other journalizings. This market must be inharetly worse then the other market. I do not want to identify myself with this market, so I will not grace it with the title of journalism.

Destructoid has men writers who pose as women
As we all know, there are no such things as women on the internet. It is a scientific fact that all women are the internet are actually men. This means that some of the Destructoid staff are lieing to us. Journalism cannot stand by lies, meaning that Destructoid is not journalism.


Disclaimer: I wrote this when I was tired. I cannot be held responsible for the fail that I have created at this late hour. Please forgive this blog.   read

11:55 PM on 12.28.2009

The Destructoid editors in their favorite game boxes [shortblog?] [Pics]

I was just surfing destructoid when the brilliant idea struck me. What if I photo shopped nick chester in the guitar hero box. Latter on I thought, What if I put the faces of the destructoid editors in their favorite games. Today I decided to actually do so. I put each of the editors either in a game they like, or their favorite game's box. I tried to get all the editors, however I am rather new so I don't know about all of them. Not only this, but I had trouble finding pics of some of the editors. So if you are reading this and you arn't included, I am sorry. Also, I would have put samit in a baseball game, but the way the pictures were prevented me from (easily) shopping them. But without further adu, here are the pics

Topher and Stella fight on the streets

Samit plays some #sports, not with the #yankees

Anthony visits city 17

Nick plays some guitar

Jim hangs with Tales

Brad Visits monkey Island

Rey goes to Greece to battle with the gods

Dale takes a pitstop at silent hill

Colette goes back to school

Chad does AMAZING!!!! things

Ben jumps off walls, and into pits

Zimmerman battles dr.light

Jordan becomes a pikmin


Thats better...   read

8:32 PM on 12.05.2009

GAA's Review of T.R.o.K.R.oE.R.o.Rb.R.o.J.R.o. The Sabotuer(shortblog)

Subject: Review of Review of the Review of the Review of the Review of the Review of the Saboteur
Author: Tubatic
Released: December 5, 2009
MSRP: 1,000,000Yen

I found this review to be severely lacking. The review itself was only 2 paragraphs for Christ sake. Not only this, but it only had one image. I expect blogs to have more then 3 sentences. Not only this, but this has forced me to write a awfully meta blog. I hate it when I have to write meta-blogs. This has also forced me to write a short-blog that will most likely end up in Failtoid.

I found that Jim's review was the best. Random bullseye gave jims review a reasonable score. Elsa overrated the blog (probably got payed off by Randombullsye). Kraid was obviously trolling for page views because of the low score he gave to Elsa's review. Tubatic goes back to the reasonable score. I find that as a good thing. It is always wise to not over or underate a review(or game) as if you do so, you are probably trolling.

However I cannot recommend buying Tubatic's review at its amazingly steep price. Not only did I have to pay 1 million yen, I had to pay a hefty conversion fee. The final price came up to 15,000 dollars. I find this to much for a game that is lacking in content. I recommend a rent on this one, or borrowing your friends copy(Or piracy). Anything is better then having to pay the enormous price for tubatics review.

Score: 4.5 -- Below Average (4s have some high points, but they soon give way to glaring faults. Not the worst games, but are difficult to recommend.)

See what review I am referring to. (but don't pay the man the 1 million yen)

See Kraid's review that is trolling for comments.

Se elsa's review (even though she overrated the review)

Read Randombulleyes review that started it all

Jim's review of the Saboteur? Sure, why not. If you're into that sort of thing.   read

7:47 PM on 11.26.2009

Why you should buy plants vs zombies instead of COD4:MW2

[Note: The following article might contain a bit of what some may call “ZOMG SPOILERS” If you do not want any of the following game to be “spoiled” for you please hold your hands to your ears, start yelling “LA LA LA LA LA LA LA I CANT HEAR YOU”, then pick up your computer and throw it into a bottomless cavern. Now that you cannot access the internet, rip out your phone cords and get rid of all human contact. Now that you have done that, you will not be spoiled about any movie/book/game ever.

PS. Dr. Jackal is Mr. Hyde. ]

This Christmas season ( Or Q4 or “Wintertime holidays”,or whatever you kids call it these days) you may be thinking of getting a couple games. Maybe you’re going to get COD4:MW2, or maybe some other game. I say the game on the top of your buying/wish list shouldn’t be COD4:MW2, but Plants vs Zombies.

It’s original

Now I know Jim Sterling thinks that zombies are overused and boring. I may have to agree that they have been used a lot; however, this isn’t a typical zombie game. Have you ever seen a game featuring zombies AND plants. Sure in games such as dead rising they had plants and zombies, but it was featuring zombies and it kind of had plants. This is featuring both plants and zombies. Not only this, but it is a tower defense game. Even thougg it is classified as a “Tower defense game”, it is not a traditional boring tower defense game. It makes its on variation of the genre, keeping the game fresh and enjoyable. In this time when you see so much rip-offs for games, its nice to see something original.

Retro game-esque synopsis

Since when have you heard of such a ridiculous game synopsis? Probably in the NES/SNES era(or Earth Defense 2012). Yes the name of the game is telling the truth, it is about PLANTS

Fighting Zombies

How ridiculous is that? Imagine how they brought up that game concept in a staff meeting.

Game Designer: So we were thinking of making a game about zombies…

Popcap executive: And…

Game Designer: It’s kind of weird let’s just say………The man puts plants in his yard to protect him from the zombies.

Popcap executive: Brilliant...

It’s challenging

The game is challenging, but rewarding game. Level by level it gets more and more factors get added in. Anthony Burch praised this game for both its difficulty curve, and the interesting way it handles difficulty. Some of the extra maps are exceptionally challenging, requiring you to think in different ways then you thought in the main campaign. When I finished the last mini-game map I felt really really good, even though it was my first run of the map, But I felt like I was close to dying so many times.


Just looking at the screenshots you should be able to tell this game has an incredible amount of charm to it. The plants and zombies alike have this wonderful graphical flair to them. Sure it may not be in “ZOMG 1080p”, but the only people who will care are graphics whores (you filthy filthy whores).

Every character was obviously made with an extreme amount of polish. They even have a almanac of all the plants and zombies to keep track of them. I would actually recommend everyone who plays this game read all the almanac entries, because each entry is so full of charm and humor.

The rest of the game is also filled with charm and humor. This game has some of the funniest dialog in games. The games help screen is so funny, and there is a konami code reference. The zombies also send you notes periodically, and those are always funny.


This game is not just a lot of the same thing. Every so often they mix it up a bit so it almost never feels like you are playing the exact same thing twice. Even in just the campaign you go through about 3 different environment, day and night. At the end of almost every level you get a new plant to play around with, and a new zombie to take care of. Even after the main campaign is over, you have a lot of extra missions to do, and a lot of stuff to buy. If you only played through the campaign, you would be really missing out. One mode involves taking bowling for zombies with walnuts, another involves taking down zombies with plants for heads, and in a strange twist you control the zombies for a level.

Heroin-laced goodness.

Anyone who has played peggle should know that popcap does a good job at making addictive games. Plants vs Zombies is defiantly one of these games. You will be playing this game hour after hours, until you realize you have been playing the game till 3AM. This game is that addictive. I actually spent 2 entire days just playing plants vs zombies. I enjoyed every second of it.

Best end game song since portal

Now I know a lot of people hate the song “Still alive” in portal. Well you know what, you are lame, Very very very lame. Well plants vs zombies pulls a portal and has a song to end out this amazing game. It involves plants, and zombies singing. For those of you who don’t care about spoilers, the video will be posted below. Trust me when I say once you hear this song, it will be stuck in your head for the rest of the day.
[embed]156209:25253[/embed]   read

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