Prepare to meet your new hero. His name is Ralph, Ralph Hardy to be exact.

He's a 13 year old boy living in Newark Texas. Who just happened to scam his fathers existing credit card company into printing a card for young Ralph, tied to the same account. Like any good boy, he then went on a $30,000 shopping spree, consisting of electronics, junk food, and other goodies that make 13 year old boys happy. the story culminates in Ralph and his friends getting a motel room in which they would eat their junk food, play halo, and order prostitutes. we know ralph is a hardcore gamer, because apparently, uncertain of what to do with said prostitutes he used them to play halo with him. way to go buddie!

when asked why he ordered the prostitutes, he states something along the lines of 'i thought it was the thing to do when you win a WoW tourney'. epic.

it gets better....

when the working girls were suspicous about ralphs young appearance, he informed them that he suffered from restricted growth and was working with a traveling circus.

ralph, my hats off to you. you sir, are an american hero.

source