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Welcome, wanderer.

I am old beyond time.
(Not actually true, but I'm 35, so I ain't young. I still get carded every single time I go to the liquor store or buy cigarettes, and they always make a big deal about it when they read my birthdate off the ID, so I guess that's good.)

I am omnipresent.
(Okay, not true either. But I've lived in a lot of places. Currently adjusting to living in a smaller town after coming from a huge one.)

I have watched your kind over the years, learning.
(Well, I can be a little antisocial; I'm an introvert. Social situations exhaust me. But I'm actually pretty friendly and have learned, with painstaking practice, to hold up my end of a conversation.)

I have watched you evolve.
(I like all sorts of games. I have some over-analytical tendencies, and when no one's looking, you might actually catch me playing with a notebook and pen at my side, taking notes. I love to see games do new things, create new systems and new ways of playing. Games like Catherine, Journey, or Child of Eden - or even little indie strangenesses like Passage and One Chance - always get my imagination fired up.)

I have participated in your rituals.
(Music - Electronica, darkwave, ambient, 80s, chillout, punk, rock, conscious hip-hop, some folk and indie. See last.fm for things I tend to listen to; the profile's out of date, and of course doesn't account for any non-digital music I own.)

I have absorbed your literature.
(Books - Stephen R. Donaldson, Michael Moorcock, Gene Wolfe, Warren Ellis, Stephen King, Chuck Palaniuk, Hunter Thompson, Richard Morgan, Neal Stephenson, William Gibson, Lovecraft, Haruki Murakami, Jeff Lindsay, Mervyn Peake, Borges, Harlan Ellison, Emma Bull, Neil Gaiman, Orson Scott Card, Banana Yoshimoto, bros Hernandez, Nancy Collins, Jessica Abel, Brian Wood, Mary Roach, Mary Karr, Jane McGonigal - and many more.)

I have aided your heroes.
(Fondly remembered games - Final Fantasy series and FFT, Persona series, SMT and DDS, Portal, Bioshock, Batman Arkham Asylum, Fallout, Silent Hill, Valkyria Chronicles, Culdcept, Baroque, Katamari Damacy, Odin Sphere, The Red Star, Rez, The Longest Journey and Dreamfall, Soul Calibur, Panzer Dragoon, Oblivion, Planescape Torment, Dragon Age, Mass Effect, Civilization, Limbo, Puzzle Quest, Demon's Souls, Okami, Parappa the Rapper, any and all co-op beat 'em ups, PixelJunk Monsters, and I'm probably forgetting tons worthy of mention).

I have chosen you to hear my words and bear them to all who will listen.
(Kind of!)

Welcome, wanderer. Make yourself at home.
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PAX: "This should be fun. When do we leave?"
fulldamage | 10:31 PM on 09.21.2011 14 comments



"This should be fun. When do we leave?" - Gogo the Mime

It's been about a month since PAX. I keep meaning to write something about it, when work isn't kicking my ass. Thus far, the ass kicking has been relentless.


They say they'll lay off the brass knuckles if I get all my spreadsheets done.

Also, I'm kind of lazy. And I didn't take any pictures, because I have the attention span of a flea with a mood disorder and a Red Bull problem.

But that doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about it.

The last time I went to Seattle was more than ten years ago; passed through it, I should say, rather than "went to." I was visiting a friend in Snoqualmie, and really didn't see much of Seattle other than that it seemed rainy and full of coffee shops and flannel and the spirits of long dead alien scouts from other worlds, hungry and in need of fresh, untarnished, virginal souls - which is pretty much what everyone expects Seattle to be. But convention time is different.

During PAX - well, I guess all I really saw was downtown. But because of the massive convention clustered right near its heart (like a cancerous growth, but very slightly less expensive), it really became something Other - like a city in a novel, full of weird and wonderful sights. You roll out of your bed in the morning, as early as you can stand, because awesome is happening right outside and you need to be part of it (and why can't waking up be filled with that feeling more often?).

You stumble towards coffee, and a bunch of N7 troops from the Normandy are lounging near the counter in fatigues and tank tops, ordering espressos and blearily trying to remember where they parked their ship. As you're chewing through your thing-that-was-a-pastry-once, you can see Mario outside posing for a picture with someone - no, wait, that's Ron Jeremy. Ron Jeremy in a Mario costume? Probably wouldn't be the first time. Maybe it’s not Ron Jeremy. You're not quite awake enough to figure it out.


Give this man a mushroom. Right now.

As you trundle towards the convention center, the streets are teeming with Soul Collectors and Creepers and BlazBlue warriors and "sexy" Pikachus and a sad man in a yellow blanket who thinks he's Pac Man and may have diabetes. And so much more. It's like a forum exploded, and everyone is dressed as their avatar. It makes just walking around a heartlifting experience. It's beautiful.

Forums! Geez, I never go there, which is my own damn fault. I spend too much time on the internet to begin with. But did you know that the forums are filled with awesome, and that everyone in there is bombsauce? I met so many cool Dtoid forum people I don't even know where to begin. Jack Shadow and Hei, Diverse, GOBUN!, Fleet3000 and lady, Glitchy, the amazing Changston, Scion of Mogo, and many other rockstars whose names I cannot remember right now because BOOZE. Also met a handful of the many community leaders whose names you may not see that often if you're a front-pager only, but who do an amazing job of helping people have a good time, on the site and off - Tactix, Powerglove, and so many more. Also met the incomparable Elsa for a few minutes, which was an absolute treat, as well as the polite Mr. Kraid, sublime intern Ali D, Heiyu who is a hilarious friend of mine that needs to delurk - the list goes on.



All of these people are awesome, and are only one tiny piece of the Dtoid army which lurks in secret. Okay, they lurk in public. And they are actually kind of loud and sometimes wear funny hats and foam swords and are not actually that secret. My point is, they are all as awesome as you could possibly expect; hilarious and legit and straight up nerd-sexy, and the meetups at E&C and Pink, not to mention the Dtoid panels, absolutely made my damn show.

Want to know a secret? Every once in a while when there are no new texts from my friends or material in my RSS reader, I'll flip open the GroupMe app on my phone and look at the chat record of that weekend - hundreds of fellow Dtoiders greeting each other, meeting up to get food, get booze, find trouble to get into, and sometimes something or other about gaemz. For a second, if I'm stuck in a line or doing a really boring task, it's a breath of fresh air.



What is there to say about PAX?

I mean, most of it has been said already. Everyone who wasn’t there is sick of hearing about it already, and everyone who was there - well, they were there, and the moment doesn’t translate into words very easily.

Mostly, I think I want to set some of it down just for myself.

Because over the course of this year, there are going to be some bleak moments. I’ll end up stuck late at work, sleep-deprived and laboring away on something I don’t care about. Or one of those foul moods will sneak up, the ones that convince me that nothing’s worth doing, no one’s worth seeing, and that if the earth would just sink right back into the water before I have to put on my shoes and go out the front door, that would be the best of all possible outcomes.


Unless I had slick shoes, and didn't use the door. That'd be fucking awesome.

And when that grim breath passes, I remember all the things worth doing in this world, and the fact that I just found a new one, and that it happens every year like magic.

Eleven months to go. See you in 2012.



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13 comments | showing # 1 to 13
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Andrew Benton's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/21/2011 23:17
Andrew Benton
It was definitely good to meet you.
knutaf's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/22/2011 00:22
knutaf
I wish I'd known you were there. I totally would have said hi to you. Yes, PAX was pretty incredible. Actually, it was borderline indescribable. Can't wait till next year.
Gobun's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/22/2011 01:32
Gobun
I remember meeting you. But I also don't remember meeting you
bbain's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/22/2011 09:42
bbain
its very interesting blog post.
i like it.
http://paxsoundslikeablast.com/youhaveawaywithwords.html
Elsa's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/22/2011 10:07
Elsa
Wow... I must say that this is one of the very best PAX blogs I've ever read! You so beautifully captured the otherworldly experience of all the people and cosplayers in downtown and the fun of meeting other Dtoiders!

It was awesome to have met you in person!!
fulldamage's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/22/2011 11:19
fulldamage
@power-glove
You are one hard-workin' SOB. Well met.

@knutaf
Next year I will definitely find and meet more of the c-bloggers!

@Gobun
That is because I have employed the forbidden arts of ninjitsu to obscure your recall, so no worries. :) I was the short brown guy who rode up with Jack, and spent about half his time outside the bar, smoking Camel Crushes.

@bbain
its very interesting response
i like it.
http://youshouldtotallygo.nextyear.html

@Elsa
Aw, cheers! I've been to a few cons, but I've never seen one take over a downtown area so completely! And as always, thanks for classing up the joint a bit. :)
knutaf's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/22/2011 12:00
knutaf
bbain, fulldamage: I can't believe I tried to go to those URLs. such a let down.
fulldamage's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/22/2011 12:13
fulldamage
@knutaf
http://www.imsorry.com/
Alasdair Duncan's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/22/2011 15:46
Alasdair Duncan
The jet lag kicked my ass this year. I was so tired each night and by Sunday evening I was seriously flagging. Next year I'm gonna try and give myself and extra day or two beforehand so I can get my body ready.
fulldamage's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/22/2011 17:28
fulldamage
@Alasdair Duncan
Man, I didn't even fly and I was still beat. I couldn't start up there until Friday and had to leave on Sunday, with a 5 hour drive on each of those days. I mean, sure the hallucinations on the way back were pretty great, but still I think some better travel planning next year would probably serve me well.
Corduroy Turtle's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/22/2011 22:13
Corduroy Turtle
Damn, would have been cool to shake your hand. I'll have to save that pleasure for next year.
Mr Andy Dixon's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/23/2011 11:26
Mr Andy Dixon
Did we meet? I want to say yes, but I was also drunk a lot :)
fulldamage's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/26/2011 11:06
fulldamage
@Corduroy Turtle
Absolutely! Looking forward to it!

@Mr Andy Dixon
I remember seeing you! I don't think we spoke, but that robe was hard to miss!
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