In honor of today's date, I wanted to take some time to celebrate some historic Video game 'Bromances' across several platforms. These selfless heroes put "saving the world" above themselves, but somehow during their journeys they grew closer to each other.

The 8-bit and 16-bit eras were a time of flourishing bromances. Any game that had a co-op option seemed to thrive on this notion: Double Dragon, Contra, Battletoads, River City Ransom, Little Ninja Bros., Secret of Mana, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Cyborg Justice (to name a few). Whether it was a competition to see who could pump the most iron or flatten the most 'gnarly dudes', it seems like the protagonists of the 80's and 90's were always bumping chests or 'testing their might'. This is what makes the first couple on the list so special; one was always playing hard to get while the other one chased.

Sonic and Tails - Genesis

Sonic was single for a game, but SEGA figured he was lonely and needed a partner. Sonic is a rad dude with a nasty 'tude, so naturally he didn't want to settle down with any one particular species when he can still run around. Miles "Tails" Prower (which only makes sense if you ignore the metric system as a valid form of measurement) was their answer to Sonic's siren call. As a clearly submissive partner, Tails doesn't butt heads with Sonic, but rather compliments his brash ways. He can never catch up to his speedy partner, but it doesn't matter, no matter how fast Sonic runs, Tails will eventually end up by his side, often leading the suicidal charge onward. Tails sacrifices his body for his partner over and over again just to ensure Sonic's safety and dominance over their rival. Tails is fiercely territorial about his pal, and even with the addition of Amy, Silver, Knuckles, Big, Cream, and all Sonic's fanboys, he is determined to never be separated (even if it means being in crappy Olympic/Tennis/Racing themed off-shoots to the series).

Cloud and Barret - PS1

The Playstation One began the mainstream focus on 'dating sim' elements in games. We wouldn't be asking: "Can I bang Kasumi in the paid DLC for ME2?" if the the good old PSX didn't set the precedent for it. This element of choice and romantic preference was somewhat hidden in the background of the dialogue for Final Fantasy VII. The player knew that they were making choices in the dialogue (often the exchanges didn't change much, regardless of the choices made), but didn't know the game was actually keeping a tally (not Tali... jeesh) of which character Cloud had the hots for. It was easy for people to end up going on a date with Aeris or Tifa, but the real challenge was winning the heart of Barret or Yuffie. Barret is the first party member you're introduced to at the beginning. Or as Barry White says: My First, My Last, My Everything. Coincidence? I think not. Cloud is clearly smitten with the foul-mouthed (yet sensitive and caring) resistance leader, as shown by his apathetic indifference (clearly playing hard-to-get). Just equip Cloud with a 'protect' materia and we see how much he really does care.

Link and Darunia - N64

Polygonal brotherly love really hit its stride with the Nintendo 64's opus, Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. The title refers to the object that first wins the love of Darunia, lord of the Gorons, and the fact that even time cannot separate the hero from his bro (Darunia). Link finds out that his childhood friend Saria has feelings for him, so he promptly leaves his village and books it. Everywhere he goes he gets harassed by eligible bachelorettes from one tribe or another. When he meets Darunia, he drops everything in order to win his friendship. Link plays him "their song" before clearing the way to Darunia's "favorite eatery", cementing his place as the Goron's friend. If that weren't enough, Darunia and his friends even want to give Link a big hug to congratulate him.


Ryo Hazuki and Ren of the Heavens - Dreamcast and Xbox

Ryo was looking for the man who killed his father (in Shenmue 1); he didn't expect to find... a friend. What starts out as a run in with a sketchy street-smart guy blossoms into a beautiful bromance. Ryo has a singular goal, but he finds himself losing track of time when he's with Ren. The two are handcuffed together and have to fight against an army of QTEs, forging a bond even Kratos (and his mastery of QTEs) could never break. Even on the fourth disc, Ryo only has trouble stumbling through the woods because he's still thinking of Ren and the QTEs they shared.

Dom and Marcus - Xbox 360

Hearkening back to a simpler time when games were all about two muscular men facing overwhelming odds (waves of enemies, giant bosses, judgmental people), Gears of War's protagonists showcased Unreal and Epic's abilities to make unrealistically proportioned men. In a peaceful time, the two could have spotted each other while the other lifted weights, but this is wartime, so the two have to spout witty phrases at the enemies while tea-bagging the slain. As a split-screen game, the two have to argue about who is on top, or who is Dom-curious, but the game doesn't survive as a single player experience. If Marcus is down, he needs Dom to get him up.

9-Volt and 18-Volt - Wii

The bond of bromance is strongest when it transcends the game itself. In WarioWare: Smooth Moves, 9-Volt and 18-Volt are the best of buds. They are P1 and P2. When 18-Volt breaks 9-Volt's Game and Watch, their friendship is tested, but there's nothing like a trip to the video game store and a brand spanking new system to fix all problems. Sometimes it's a matter of showing how much you care, or saying you're sorry. Sometimes it's saying "You'll always be my P2!" This bromance is one for the history books, because it's about gamers and their relationships on and off screen.

Niko and Brucie - Xbox 360, PS3, PC
(or alternatively, Brucie and his balls -- NSFW)

Niko is a good friend (or has the potential to be one). He comes whenever you text or call him, day or night, and even if you have a car that you sell guns out of (Little Jacob), he still drives to you, even if he has to front the taxi fare. Brucie is a muscled-up roid rager who just wants to have a good time with his pal, Niko. There's nothing like taking Brucie out on a date to the bowling alley, having "Goodbye Horses" come on the radio, and hearing Brucie say "I love this song!" (The Family Guy spoof is only slightly less disturbing than the original). Brucie talks an awful lot about his balls. Even for a date.


I know I've left off quite a lot of couples, but I wanted to be fair to as many platforms as I could. That being said, Happy Pi day or Steak and a BJ day depending on your religious affiliation! May you all find your P2.