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The Xbox 360's journey through a sex change
eternalplayer2345 | 6:11 PM on 11.24.2008 13 comments


The Xbox 360 always appeared to be a manly kinda guy. He was a no nonsense person who cared only about the things that make a man a man. Sports, guns and Friday nights was what he lived for. Sure he was no slouch and definitely could entertain a more sophisticated crowd. His friends would all tell you how he had so many different interests and was always to the point. If you went over to his house , you knew why you were there and you weren't going to do pretty much anything else. The 360 had a ton of friends that all generally shared the same kind of interests. Everyone loved the 360 and saw him as great friend to have. The only thing that troubled the 360 were two new people he meet at pretty much the same time.



The first guy he meet was the PS3. PS3 was for the most part a lovable guy. Tall, big and black the PS3 didn't have nearly as many interests as the 360 could boast about, but the way he walked, talked and acted were all pretty much the same as 360. Eventually, the PS3 and the 360 became friendly rivals, always quick to show each other up but we all buddy buddy behind closed doors. The only problem was for whatever reason the 360 and PS3's friends hated each other. No one could explain it, there were a few who hung out with both but it seem that bad blood somewhere was started between them. Perhaps some took their friendly rivalry a little too far.

The other person was Wii. Now Wii was a cute young Asian girl, petite and fun to hang around. Everything 360 and PS3 did Wii did pretty much the exact opposite. Sure she shared some interests but only vaguely. While the other two cared about guns and sports, she admired the gentler yet still as fun things in life. What set Wii especially apart from the other two was her approach to life. 360 had it's clique of good friends, but Wii could talk to anyone about anything. Everyone loved her just as much if not more than 360. She had her faults as 360's elitist friends were quick to point out. 'She doesn't take things as seriously, she's not as strong , she isn't a mature enough person". But Wii took it all in stride. Wii was a socialite, when she had friends over she was always quick to chat about it and loved things like dressing up. 360 thought he had a crush on Wii at first but it turn's out he wanted to imitate her not be with her.

It took awhile for 360 to accept this, he thought surely he just wanted a relationship with the Wii. But the more he though about it the more he realized he would rather be like the Wii. This of course was a difficult thing to accept for 360 a man'sman. But he saw the Wii as someone who could have it all: friends, similiar interests and dressing up. He must of went over a thousand times in his head rather or not he was going insane. He decided to test the waters, to see if what he was feeling was real. He started regularly playing UNO with his friends. Some saw it as a little strange but for the most part they welcomed the change of pace.

It wasn't until July this year that 360 made the big leap. 360 was nervous as he had called everyone he knew for a announcement. 360 was nervous that he had made the wrong choice and worst of all that everyone would hate him for it. After a few quite shots of courage, 360 went out in front of his friends and started talking. He was nervous at first but eventually he was able the come out and just say. "I am changing, I am going to become a new Xbox". Confused and befuddled his friends all wondered what this meant. This "new Xbox" was something no one could ever had expected. He told all his friends that he didn't feel right being who he was anymore and was going to change his gender. Initially, what he feared most happened. His friends and enemies a like began to mock the 360 calling him horrible names. A few just thought it was a joke and even more were in denial. I think ps3 took it the hardest as he just sat there with a stone cold look on his face. It would be many months but finally most of his friends were beginning to accept him, though some more begrudgingly than most.



It was November 19th, a bunch of his friend waited for the 360 to come to a new life, to her new life. When she finally entered everyone was confused at first. It took some time but not only had her gender changed but also her interests. She still loved guns and sports but she was like Wii now. She enjoyed dressing up. Even a few of 360's friend had to admit that she looked much better now than. It has only been a few days and everything is once again falling back into place. 360 still loves a good action movie now and agian but she can balance the act now all while wearing a dress.



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11 comments | showing # 1 to 11
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maxio098ui's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/24/2008 20:23
maxio098ui
i did not read this will read this later. also cool post man
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/24/2008 21:03
Aaron Mxy Yost
Haha, amusing read. Although I see it more as the 360 coming out as a drag queen rather than have a full blown sex change. :)
topgeargorilla's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/24/2008 22:49
topgeargorilla
I like the idea of the wii being a little asian girl, so cool and chipper!
TheCleaningGuy's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/25/2008 00:32
TheCleaningGuy
That was a hell of a read.
Disturbingly accurate, yet disturbingly sexually ambiguous.
Atlas's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/25/2008 00:45
Atlas
And then Sega Genesis walked into the room. He was a frail old man who smelled like he shit himself, but he managed to hobble to the couch beside Wii. He began to talk about the glory days, his role in the Great War. He took some hits here and there, but managed far better than the wars his children went on to fight.

Sega edged closer to Wii. She was nervous and started to sweat. The odor of hospital beds and poo wafted into her nostrils. Sega slowly lifted his wrinkly hand and put it into her lap. He may have been fast before, but this time he was no match for Wii. She left him on that couch, never looked back, and left him to slowly rot on his couchy grave.
nademagnet's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/25/2008 08:50
nademagnet
That was great! It's true too! I do kinda feel like the 360 has gotten a bit feminine on me... all I can say is "I put my time in before the change."
stevephoenix's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/25/2008 10:31
stevephoenix
my 360 didn't go for the full sex change, i feel he just decided to exfoliate and maybe wear a bit of blusher and eyeliner, cos you know, it's ok to do it when you're on tv.
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/25/2008 11:54
king3vbo
My 360 is now a drag queen... wonderful
Freefall's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/25/2008 12:19
Freefall
My 360 was manly, manly and kickass, now its a wii/360 hybrid.... Ahhhh!
SurplusGamer's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/25/2008 13:18
SurplusGamer
Eh, I don't see the big deal. It's a bit shinier, a bit faster, has a few nice features and avatars for some reason. I don't really see one as being more or less 'manly' than the other.

It's an interesting metaphor, but not one that works for me. :)
vexed alex's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/25/2008 13:18
vexed alex
No wonder Dom in Gears of War 2 was such a puss bag.

:(
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