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Japan: A Blog (from 2005) pt 6 of 912 - Destructoid




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About


I own a FamPuter, which is a 100% fake Famicom. And I do own Super Mario Bros. and Rockman 2 for it, which you don't. :P



I'm a 34 year old gamer. I cannot hang out with most of you, and you should not contact me to buy you cheap wine or cigarettes. I do not like jail. Seriously, I own all three consoles and I don't discriminate. Gaming is for fun, not for sissy slapfights. If you consider yourself partial to a particular console, I don't care why you don't own other consoles, I don't want to hear about it. If you're going to bitch about something, you'd better bring some hard evidence of why you're complaining if you want to cry on my shoulder.

Enjoy this wonderful picture of 2 generations coming together at last...



PS - I eat trolls.

PPS - I've been to Japan. Maybe you've heard about it? If not, read up here:

Part 1: Introductions
Part 2: Yamagata's Hanagasa Festival
Part 3: Harajuku Girls and the lack thereof
Part 4: You're not in Kansas anymore, Niero (TGS07)
Part 5: Fresh from the farm to your mouth
Part 6: Going to Japan is hard
Part 7: 30 days takes forever
Part 8: Rape, Rocks, and Alliteration
Part 9: Small Town Nightlife
Part 10: Bling Bling, Hundred Thousand Yen Bill Ya'll
Part 10 Part 2: Mount Yamadera
Part 11: The Japanese Wal-Mart
Part 12: Goin' Down to Tokyo Town
Part 13: Ghiblit Gravy
Part 14: Air Sex
Part 15: Ganguros of New Tokyo
Part 16: The Contest Announcement
Part 17: The Contest
Part 18: The Trip Itinerary
Part 19: Tokyo Day 2
Part 20: Tokyo Day 2 Part 2 (of 2)
Part 21 is no longer there, but it wasn't all that great anyway, so you're not missing out.
Part 22: Happy Picture Montage Time!
Part 23: I have arrived.
Part 24: I have returned.
Part 25: The Case for the American Cheeseburger
Part 26: Random pictures are random
Part 27: A Free Gift for Those Who've Been Paying Attention
Part 28: Nintendo, no seriously, NINTENDO
Part 29: Racists in Japan, Discriminating against the handicapped
Special Report from Cheapy D at CAG
Part 30: The Secret Truth About Japan
Part 31: Oz-Matsuri
Part 32: The Japanese Don't Have Antiperspirant Deodorant

Part 33: There's this Disney character named Stitch in Japan...
Part 34: Trainspotting: Live From Kyoto
Part 35: Kyoto for Beginners
Part 36: Kyoto Smash: Advance Lesson in Fun Time
Part 37: Some Japanese people are alcoholics
Part 38: Hardcore Otaku know where the real action is
Part 40: My attempt at getting the Oscar for Best Japanese Picture
Part 41: What heaven is like.
Part 42: I sneak into a movie studio to pitch my movie
Part 41: What heaven is like.
Part 43: My film idea is shot down in favor of yet another Power Rangers TV show
Part 44: Excessive Male Nudity in Japan
Part 45: The Japanese grocery store has no deli counter
Part 46: How the Japanese language is worked into Japan's society
Part 47: Izukayas and you: How the Japanese drink in public
Part 48: All you really need to know about the Tokyo Auto Show
Part 49: Gyudon Rocks.
Part 50: Tendo is the coolest place in all of Japan
Part 51: I really did poop immediately after that shot
Part 52: A Beginner's Guide to Tokyo Disney Sea
Part 53: There is no comparison. Cheeseburgers win.
Part 55: You've never had Tonkatsu, so you wouldn't understand
Part 56: Japanese iTunes for the Mac addict
Part 57: The other kind of Curry
Part 58: Popular Pop and "Lock" music in Japan
Part 59: I sing like how cats have sex
Part 60: The Iron Penis Festival
Part 61: A sad bit about racism in Japan
Part 9001: Electro Lemon's whirlwind visit to Tokyo
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As a final send off for Niero, as I'm sure he's about to find out, I wanted touch briefly on the topic of actually GOING to Japan. For Niero, if he's not taking a multi-leg flight with stopovers in Pawtucket, Reno, Omaha, and Cheeseton, WI; he can expect a nice lengthy sit. From Texas to Japan it's 13 and a half hours. Florida's a good extra 2.5 hours by my best estimate.

I'd done what Niero's doing tonight and decided to stay up all night. And at about 5am, I chugged 2 Red Bulls.

I failed to remember that caffeine takes about an hour and a half to kick in for me, so I fell asleep, right in the middle of Gigantor (adult swim really doesn't want you staying away through this show) at 5:15. I woke up at 6:30, ready to be driven to the airport. I flew out of DFW, even though I live in Dallas, it was easier since I'd have a dogsitter with my parents, and American flies direct to Tokyo. So, I had a ride to the airport, caffeine kicks in at 7 am about 30 minutes from the airport. I'm vibrating and shaking like a madman.


I contemplated just burying him in sand up to his neck on the beach near here, but the ASPCA was eyeing me for a whole week when we did dry runs at low tide.

Is it exhaustion? Nerves? Caffeine buzz? All 3? I dunno, but I was the most exhausted, awake, nervous, and rock steady I'd ever been all at once.

The flight left at 10 am so I had two hours to kill, staying awake the whole time. About 20 minutes before take off, we finally board. I popped some sleeping pills after getting situated. I was looking forward to sleeping on the flight. At 10:15 we backed away from the gate, and set up in the air.

My sleeping pill kicked in at 10:45. Finally, after 30 hours, I was going to get some sleep.

...


12:00 The flight attendant wakes me up to ask me if I want pizza. YES, I LOVE PIZZA! Especially on an hours' sleep. I LOVE AIRPLANE PIZZA AT 12 PM. ONLY.

I eat the tiny pizza (slightly bigger than a Bagel Bite, and just as flavorful)


12:30 back to sleep

12:35 Am I asleep? Man, I hope so. Plane sure is loud.

12:36 FUCK! Not asleep. And I'm hungry again.

12:38 PSP comes out. Play Lumines.

12:45 Get bored on 5th level. Switch to Hot Shots Golf.

1:30 That was some golf alright. Now what? Oh good, only 9 and a half more hours. I'm sure it'll pass by in no time.

1:35 Next meal is at 4pm local Dallas time.

2:00 Done with PSP. Played all my emulated games and ready for some ipod.

3:00 I desperately start listening to Japanese language programs in a last ditch effort to try to relearn 2 years of language in the next 8 hours.

3:15 I give up on Japanese language tapes. The phrase book will have to do.



4:00 I start watching Madagascar. It's nearly over. Everyone Loves Raymond is on, too. Ray Romano isn't funny, ever, but actually causes physical pain when you want to sleep but can't.


IS IT SAFE?! IS IT SAFE?!

4:30 Friends. Oh, I hate Friends too. Chandler is the second in line to die after I get Ray Romano.

4:35 Dinner? I dunno. It's shrimp sushi and maguro sushi. Eh. Tuna and Shrimp are alright, but when your previous meal was a cardboard pizza disk, it's underwhelming.

5pm The movie thing has to reset. Nothing for 10 minutes.

5:10 Madagascar starts over. It's 5pm in Dallas. 7am in Tokyo, the next day. I'm still exhausted.

As some sort of bonus tormet, we can watch our map as we travel. Slowly drifting towards Japan, and then the earth rotates and then we're 20 miles further away. I fiddle around with the camera.


Pacific Ocean, as seen on TV's Lost, but from 2 miles up.

I will back pedal and comment. The plane is basically empty. Business class is pretty full, but coach back here has like 23 people for 150 seats.

6pm 4 more hours. Home stretch? I guess. I don't want my PSP battery to die. I have maps loaded onto it as JPG's.

iPod comes out again.

7pm You can buy whiskey on airplanes. How about that?

7:30 Hammacher Schlemmer is like a rich uncle who invents shit you'll never need or use, but find to be entirely practical despite their high cost.

7:35 My dog wants a towel warming rack, I'm sure of it. It's tax free right now if I buy it on the plane.

9pm I've been staring at this fucking map thing for the last half hour. The Madagascar thing is shut off. Don't want people to see the movie more than twice, eh?

10:30. LAND!! PLEASE LET IT BE JAPAN!!!!

10:31 It wasn't Japan. Russia. Meh.

11:00 LAND!!!! IT'S JAPAN! Northern Japan. We're headed south. Meh.

11:45 pm The map says We're here, but we're still in the air.
LAND ALREADY!

12:15 am sidetracked by random Godzilla attack, we resume our descent.

12:20 We're on the ground.

Oh, thank god. Only 9 more hours till bedtime. BTW, it's 2:20 PM on Saturday.

2:30pm we disembark.

2:40 Customs
3:00 I only have 45 days and they'll kick me out of Japan.

3:30 collect bags
3:45 customs again. They totally miss the beer I brought with me on the plane. Sweet.

4pm I have my train tickets, going to Tokyo.

And we're done.

See you cats all for Part 7, where we explore mountain lonliness and rape rocks.



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