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About


I own a FamPuter, which is a 100% fake Famicom. And I do own Super Mario Bros. and Rockman 2 for it, which you don't. :P



I'm a 34 year old gamer. I cannot hang out with most of you, and you should not contact me to buy you cheap wine or cigarettes. I do not like jail. Seriously, I own all three consoles and I don't discriminate. Gaming is for fun, not for sissy slapfights. If you consider yourself partial to a particular console, I don't care why you don't own other consoles, I don't want to hear about it. If you're going to bitch about something, you'd better bring some hard evidence of why you're complaining if you want to cry on my shoulder.

Enjoy this wonderful picture of 2 generations coming together at last...



PS - I eat trolls.

PPS - I've been to Japan. Maybe you've heard about it? If not, read up here:

Part 1: Introductions
Part 2: Yamagata's Hanagasa Festival
Part 3: Harajuku Girls and the lack thereof
Part 4: You're not in Kansas anymore, Niero (TGS07)
Part 5: Fresh from the farm to your mouth
Part 6: Going to Japan is hard
Part 7: 30 days takes forever
Part 8: Rape, Rocks, and Alliteration
Part 9: Small Town Nightlife
Part 10: Bling Bling, Hundred Thousand Yen Bill Ya'll
Part 10 Part 2: Mount Yamadera
Part 11: The Japanese Wal-Mart
Part 12: Goin' Down to Tokyo Town
Part 13: Ghiblit Gravy
Part 14: Air Sex
Part 15: Ganguros of New Tokyo
Part 16: The Contest Announcement
Part 17: The Contest
Part 18: The Trip Itinerary
Part 19: Tokyo Day 2
Part 20: Tokyo Day 2 Part 2 (of 2)
Part 21 is no longer there, but it wasn't all that great anyway, so you're not missing out.
Part 22: Happy Picture Montage Time!
Part 23: I have arrived.
Part 24: I have returned.
Part 25: The Case for the American Cheeseburger
Part 26: Random pictures are random
Part 27: A Free Gift for Those Who've Been Paying Attention
Part 28: Nintendo, no seriously, NINTENDO
Part 29: Racists in Japan, Discriminating against the handicapped
Special Report from Cheapy D at CAG
Part 30: The Secret Truth About Japan
Part 31: Oz-Matsuri
Part 32: The Japanese Don't Have Antiperspirant Deodorant

Part 33: There's this Disney character named Stitch in Japan...
Part 34: Trainspotting: Live From Kyoto
Part 35: Kyoto for Beginners
Part 36: Kyoto Smash: Advance Lesson in Fun Time
Part 37: Some Japanese people are alcoholics
Part 38: Hardcore Otaku know where the real action is
Part 40: My attempt at getting the Oscar for Best Japanese Picture
Part 41: What heaven is like.
Part 42: I sneak into a movie studio to pitch my movie
Part 41: What heaven is like.
Part 43: My film idea is shot down in favor of yet another Power Rangers TV show
Part 44: Excessive Male Nudity in Japan
Part 45: The Japanese grocery store has no deli counter
Part 46: How the Japanese language is worked into Japan's society
Part 47: Izukayas and you: How the Japanese drink in public
Part 48: All you really need to know about the Tokyo Auto Show
Part 49: Gyudon Rocks.
Part 50: Tendo is the coolest place in all of Japan
Part 51: I really did poop immediately after that shot
Part 52: A Beginner's Guide to Tokyo Disney Sea
Part 53: There is no comparison. Cheeseburgers win.
Part 55: You've never had Tonkatsu, so you wouldn't understand
Part 56: Japanese iTunes for the Mac addict
Part 57: The other kind of Curry
Part 58: Popular Pop and "Lock" music in Japan
Part 59: I sing like how cats have sex
Part 60: The Iron Penis Festival
Part 61: A sad bit about racism in Japan
Part 9001: Electro Lemon's whirlwind visit to Tokyo
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I am the master of my domain...

It's a few scant days before May. Soon, April 29th will be upon us and the world as we know it will be forever scarred with Grand Theft Auto IV.

Since this is posting a few days before the launch of GTAIV, I figured I'd need to level with you guys about May's challenges before you buy your copy of GTAIV.

1. Someone in the group will actually do this challenge. That doesn't mean that they're going to win in June. That just gives them the luxury of being ahead for next month. So skipping May's challenge will be really painful for anyone who's been making strides on this so far to just give up now.

2. I'm finally sticking a prize in there that everyone has a chance to win. It ain't much, but without sponsors or anything it's coming out of my pocket, so please forgive me if it's not just a pile of cash and games for a prize.

3. These are the rules for May. There's no half-assery this month. What it is is what it is. I still love you all, but these are CHALLENGES. Not, "give people who beg for prizes what they want".

I'll post scores for April here in a few days at the beginning of May. I'm still tabulating for April, and it appears as though all scoring up to now is up to date.

So, without further adieu...

The Challenges for May:

Lego Star Wars II (Not the other one.)


68 points: Beat each level undefeated for 2 points, Beat the Lego City Mission for 20, and the Bounty Hunter Missions for 12 points.

I did my math on that one. It's 68 points.

See, even extended to this alt-universe, the new trilogy doesn't exist for me. So, only LSWII need apply. Play through the game and you should be able to sweep up these achievements pretty easily. It's a fun game and you can co-op locally with a friend to cover your ass to keep you alive on the Undefeated achievements.

So, wait, you're asking yourself right about now... Lego Star Wars is a LONG ass game. Where on earth am I going to find time to play LSW and get the challenges for Grand Theft Auto?

I got yer back buddy.

I care.

Hey watch this real quick before you read any further.



Oh, the second challenge. Right. Well, if you wanna know...

Grand Theft Auto IV


Sure looks like fun doesn't it?

Read the thing below. It's 100 points to complete the challenge.

Well, here in a few days, if you're going to participate, you're going to go buy yourself a nice new copy of GTAIV for the 360. Make sure, whatever way you buy it, you have your receipt visible in the picture (with date of purchase), a signature over the cellophane/security label as proof of your purchase by you, and then you take those, cblog the pics, and sit on them for 30 days.

30 days later, take your unopened copy of GTAIV, with a newspaper indicating today's date, cblog a pic of that, and claim your 100 points.

The basic thrust here is that you do not play your new copy of GTA for 30 days. And you must buy it for it to count.

If for some reason you just can't wait any longer and it's killing you, there are points to be had from this, just not at all how you want them.

Points will be valued based on how many days you clear in the challenge if you open the game early. 100 points for 30 days. 1 point per day for the first 10 days, 2 points for days 11-25, 10 points per day for 26-28, and 15 points per day for days 29 and 30.

So, let's say you manage to make it 14 days and you can't take it any longer and you wanna play some GTA. Whee! You get 18 points for your effort. The guy who makes it 25 days gets 40 points. Make it to 30 days with your unopened copy of GTAIV, and you get all 100 points.

I know this is a hard challenge for some people, especially if you're in a mindset of "fuck this, I'll never win, etc, etc..." So, ANYONE that clears the 30 days will get 500 MS points, directly out of my pocket AND you'll get the 100 points towards the challenge. It's not much, but it's something. You can use that to buy some Rock Band tracks, or some shiny new gamerpics to look at after you make the 30 day mark.

Again, I have to stress, you must wait 30 days to play, AFTER YOU BUY THE GAME. If you just wait till may 30th and buy it then to play, you're not going to win. But if you buy the game anytime between now and May 31st, you can participate. This means that this challenge runs well beyond May, and into June if you are a procrastinator like myself.

As for me, I'm going to be playing some GTA. Probably all night long on weekends and definitely the weekend of May 2nd. I guess the rest of you will definitely be catching Iron Man. Oh, and look at it this way. You're all definitely going to be outside and having fun come Memorial Day weekend, right?


The new torture

And notice what I'm not saying here. If I see any of your registered GamerTags with a listing of GTAIV on the playlist during the duration of the challenge, you're going to get counted on the day I see listed on XBL. Your 30 days begins when you post the first blog showing your signature over the security seal.

Bonus Challenge

It depends on what you're playing this month... - Double your point score

Playing Lego Star Wars for lack of nothing else to do? Unlock 80% of the game, and the bonus is yours.

Did you wuss out and bust open your copy of GTAIV on day 21? Unlock the You Won! achievement and complete the final story mission in the game.

If you're some sort of magical psychopath and manage to do both of these in a month, I'll give you a bonus prize of a 1600 MS point card. BUT! You must clear the GTA challenge before attempting to clear GTA, if you're going to try to beat both games

WOW!

Guess what? One month to go after this. June's gonna be a bitch compared to this, so rest on your laurels, sleep easy, and rest well in knowing that all you gotta do this month is just not play a game and you get a prize.

Because in June, you're going to have to kill to win.



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