Grand Theft Auto IV, and life in general, has been kicking my ass. I have been balls deep in Liberty City Survivor aka Grand Theft Auto IV Deathmatch. I admit to being a rampant autoaimer, but since I have mastered that skill (Pussyclot Wan' tes me??!!) I am moving on to doing manual aim matches. I fucking love Mafiya Work to Death. Spontaenous yet purposeful shootouts in the middle of Algonquin make things so awesome...so...cool....so....GTA.

Anyway, I found this in the Onion today, and saw no one else posted it..so..


Liberty City Police Face Allegations Of Incompetence, Brutality

LIBERTY CITY—With the city in the midst of a record crime wave, concerned citizens claim the Liberty City Police Department has done little to prevent the constant car chases, ongoing gun battles, and overall atmosphere of violence that pervade the area.

"I used to feel safe in Liberty City, but lately, it's been total mayhem," said night-shift worker Lola Del Rio, who spoke to reporters while sucking nervously on a red lollipop. "In the past week alone, I've been carjacked twice, run over 10 times, and witness to a half-dozen gunfights that ended with automobiles exploding. What are the police doing to stop all this?"

Check out the rest of the piece here.