Cock Science

After my last entry about boobies I was going to continue with the general medical disgusting theme. I was amazed at the interest it garnered. I guess that’s what putting boobies in your title will do. On the forums when I introduced myself, it was suggested this time that I talk about cock science. Before I get into that I want to address the concern some people had after my last article about my medical credentials. Questioning them is not without merit as I am some random fool on the internet. Questioning is something we in medicine do all the time. Except we can’t challenge with quite the same verbosity as the wonderful online flame wars that I read about all the time. Instead we ask for the evidence base to substantiate the claims people make.
Great conversation stopper that one. Whenever someone is pissing you off at a dinner party with incessant stories about the last time they went to Tijuana ask them for the evidence base for it. If all they can come up with is ‘I was there, this is what I saw’, respond with ‘well, that’s fairly anecdotal. It’s only an n of 1. That’s not a very representative selection of the population is it.’
What has this got to do with my credentials? Nothing. Neither does being on the internet. So back to cock science.
A urologist friend pointed me to a paper much more relevant for the gaming community.
The general gist of the paper is they got a whole heap of urological surgeons and divided them into two groups; those that played games and those that didn’t. Urological surgery is normally done with a laproscope through some form of keyhole surgery. In many cases the laproscope is stuck like a pipe cleaner up the already existing keyholes in the end of your …er dangly bits to clean it out (Like an anal probe. Except not up your anus).
Obviously there is more technical aspects of the operation than I’ve just mentioned. The pipe cleaner uses various methods to cut away tissue. Cycling through the available weapons with the shoulder buttons we have; a blade, radiowaves, microwaves and even a wicked green laser.
The doctor watches the whole thing remotely on a TV with the pipe cleaner controlled with two joy sticks in a manner not unlike katamari damarci. Except with the cutting off of excess tissue instead of the ball rolling and random object sticking. Because hopefully you don’t have random objects inside your dangly bits.
Anyway. So between these two cohorts there was a noticeable difference in skill. The ones that played games (particularly console FPS games) had much better 3D orientation and localisation skills, along with better hand/screen co-ordination.
I tell this to my girlfriend whenever she tells me off for playing to much manhunt (The first one still). It’s not for fun I say, its training. Then I cut of someone’s head just because I can.
As an aside, I played the urologist that gave me the paper at Halo 2. He handed me my ass on a platter. I was glad. I would be scared if I could beat him and he used those same hands to er… insert pipe cleaners.


A little image so you get the general idea
http://www.aarogya.com/healthresources/ecommerce/userside/chimco/ie530_files/21.gif


The control Room
http://laparoscopy.blogs.com/laparoscopy_today/images/4-1/AnvariFig3a.jpg


NSFW. Seriously. This is a fairly twisted procedure. Be warned. Not even really to sure what is going on. The page was in spanish. Crazy spanish people.
http://scielo.isciii.es/img/revistas/urol/v58n3/233Fig1.jpg


NSFW. This is got nothing to do with anything. Its just really messed up. And I’m posting it because I’m twisted and I wanted to share the love.
http://www.asiaandro.com/1008-682X/inpress/0520f1.jpg

Oh yeah.
The paper. Need a nature subscription though.
http://www.nature.com/ncpuro/journal/v2/n6/full/ncpuro0202.html