Lately it seems that tetris has become my entire life. I could use some analogy and say that every portion of my well rounded existance correlates with a tetragon. Every piece falingl together as I play, but I won't. I've just been playing a lot of tetris because its an easy procrastion. Interestingly I've also been doing a lot of rock climbing, which is kind of tetris in reverse when you think about it. I'm not too sure about any other particular interests but I find I'm well informed about world status. I do this by checking my email every five minutes. You never know, someone might have written to you since you last looked. I'm also interested in philosophical physics which is like saying you like religous mathematics or even possibly metaphysical cooking. Except I do actually like it. I also like noise in the background. My favourite is a radio on just loud enough to hear a humm but not loud enough to actually hear the moronic things that radio DJ's are actually saying. I dont have a T.V If anyone finds out anything interesting about me, it would be really good if they could tell me. Unfortunatly I always seem to the last person to find out about things, especially about my own life. As a side note if anyone could also let me know how they put the fillings in chocolates I'd also be very interested.
I recently got my hands on the rereleased Chronotrigger for DS (I know, a bit slow but I was saving lives in the third world. slightly hard to get ds games out there).
Anyways long story short, I got horrendously sick the moment I touched back on western soil (the irony).
I was ostracised my friends and family who where scared that I had some contageous illness of cabin fever proportions. All I had was chrono and his friends to keep me company.
Never before (except when I loved it on the SNES) have I loved a computergame so much. Maybe it was the feverent hallucinations affecting my mind, but i'd laugh out loud, then cry, then do both at the same time.
I played it so much and got so ill i cast frog stomp on my sleeping, ever loving and much suffering girlfriend.
I could close my eyes and see the horrible little graphics running rampant. It wasmuch like the tetris effect, but with a better story.
I believe I survived my horrible (3 day) illness in part due to chrono. I had to keep playing. I had to rememeber what happened next. I had to kill lavos in as many ways and as fast as possible. I needed to unlock the last of the 12 endings.
And for that I'm eternally thankfull to the people who rereleased it. because if they hadn't I would have been still stuck with heroes of lagaard 2. We all know how hard that one is. Its such a draining game. Who know's whether I would have survived untill the end?
I like playing games high. I admit it. When I was a kid Iíd get really fucked up then go kill people on quake (No.1 baby!) for hours. Nothing beats a friday night fight with shitloads of meth and twitchy kill counterstrike. Awesome.
Though right now I donít want to talk about that.
On the weekend I was working at one of those huge festivals where everyone (40000 people) is on drugs. We didnít have a single drug related fatality. We had 15 hospital transports from alcohol and 2 from GHB (nasty shit).
Here in the .au 12% of kids (20-29ís) have tried or are regular uses of mdma. Thatís around about 300,000 people. Of those 50% use it monthly Ė weekly.
It made me wonder. So looked up some stuff.
In the last year weíve had 1 reported death from mdma.
In the last year, from one state (NSW) in the same age bracket (a comparable population size) there were around 190 fatal car crashes.
I know its kinda like comparing apples to oranges. Its not like people eat pills all day to get to work. Then again 33% of the fatal crashes happened on fri-sat night between 10pm-5am.
The stats almost say "stay out, its safer".
I know its not game relevant but I found it interesting. So I thought Iíd share
This is really getting to me. Everywhere I look at the moment everyone is arguing about games as art.
People itís the dumbest argument ever.
Computer games are not art. What the hell is then?
No seriously. What is art?
In 1917 a guy called Duchamp stuck a urinal in a gallery. He called it art
ďBy conferring the status of "art" to a urinal Duchamp forced viewers to see the object in a new light. Doing so overthrew artistic conventions concerning meaning and aesthetics. The context of an object has a significant effect on the meaning one gathers from that object. In a broad context, the Fountain reminds the viewer of how interpretation and meaning are inherently relative and dependent upon perspective.Ē
His point is anything is art if you decide it is.
Stop the incessant arguing. Halo (and I hate to say this) is art. So is Okami. So was Zork and so was SQ1. Wolfenstien is art. MarioKarts is art. even mortal kombat II was art (to me).
Every aspect of every game is art. the music is art, the story is art. the 3d poly sculptures are art. When it fails it's just bad art. does that make it no longer art?
The one thing games arenít, is a comparable medium. Thatís like trying to say books have less meaning artistically than music.
Recently I was at a medical conference when someone gave a talk about computer game addiction. For those of you that wonder what a medical conference is like imaging to Tokyo games show, except the booth babes are pharmaceutical reps and they donít wear bikinis.
I went to a talk about the American Psychiatric Association discussions on include computer game addiction as diagnostic category in the DSMV (A big book of diseases).
At first I thought it was a joke and I sat giggling in the back row like a little schoolgirl with my friends. We all joked about how much DotA we play as we toyed with our shiny new Viagra pens. Then they showed pictures of postal 2 to get a rise from the crowd. The lecture was shamefully outdated.
After that, they started talking patients. That was when I realised they werenít kidding. There is a proportion of people that become full blown addicts to computer games. This is to the detriment of their social life/job/family/finances. There is a line to cross, like everything. Most of us will have some form of balance. But some of us donít. I donít want to tell people to look at themselves and ask whether you have a problem or not. To be honest I have no social life/job/family or finances outside of the Sims. I mean, its not like Iím going to play three days straight until drop dead from exhaustion.
But it did make me think.
So here for your benefit Iíve added the modified CAGE questionnaire. CAGE is a series of questions designed for screening Ďat riskí alcoholics. There was a study which showed that Ďyesí to more than 2 CAGE questions gives you have a greater than 76% chance of becoming or being an alcoholic.
These modified questions are for screening at risk computer game players.
I donít know about you, but Iím screwed.
ē Have you ever felt you needed to Cut down on your playing?
ē Have people Annoyed you by criticizing how much you play?
ē Have you ever felt Guilty about playing games when you should be doing other things?
ē Have you ever felt you needed to play first thing in the morning (Eye-opener) before you could properly focus on the day?
After my last entry about boobies I was going to continue with the general medical disgusting theme. I was amazed at the interest it garnered. I guess thatís what putting boobies in your title will do. On the forums when I introduced myself, it was suggested this time that I talk about cock science. Before I get into that I want to address the concern some people had after my last article about my medical credentials. Questioning them is not without merit as I am some random fool on the internet. Questioning is something we in medicine do all the time. Except we canít challenge with quite the same verbosity as the wonderful online flame wars that I read about all the time. Instead we ask for the evidence base to substantiate the claims people make.
Great conversation stopper that one. Whenever someone is pissing you off at a dinner party with incessant stories about the last time they went to Tijuana ask them for the evidence base for it. If all they can come up with is ĎI was there, this is what I sawí, respond with Ďwell, thatís fairly anecdotal. Itís only an n of 1. Thatís not a very representative selection of the population is it.í
What has this got to do with my credentials? Nothing. Neither does being on the internet. So back to cock science.
A urologist friend pointed me to a paper much more relevant for the gaming community.
The general gist of the paper is they got a whole heap of urological surgeons and divided them into two groups; those that played games and those that didnít. Urological surgery is normally done with a laproscope through some form of keyhole surgery. In many cases the laproscope is stuck like a pipe cleaner up the already existing keyholes in the end of your Öer dangly bits to clean it out (Like an anal probe. Except not up your anus).
Obviously there is more technical aspects of the operation than Iíve just mentioned. The pipe cleaner uses various methods to cut away tissue. Cycling through the available weapons with the shoulder buttons we have; a blade, radiowaves, microwaves and even a wicked green laser.
The doctor watches the whole thing remotely on a TV with the pipe cleaner controlled with two joy sticks in a manner not unlike katamari damarci. Except with the cutting off of excess tissue instead of the ball rolling and random object sticking. Because hopefully you donít have random objects inside your dangly bits.
Anyway. So between these two cohorts there was a noticeable difference in skill. The ones that played games (particularly console FPS games) had much better 3D orientation and localisation skills, along with better hand/screen co-ordination.
I tell this to my girlfriend whenever she tells me off for playing to much manhunt (The first one still). Itís not for fun I say, its training. Then I cut of someoneís head just because I can.
As an aside, I played the urologist that gave me the paper at Halo 2. He handed me my ass on a platter. I was glad. I would be scared if I could beat him and he used those same hands to erÖ insert pipe cleaners.
Hi, today I want to talk about boobies.
Not just any boobies, but fake boobies. Being medically inclined I donít really have a hell of a lot to do with the latest and greatest gaming news. Instead my job has a lot to do with boobies. I get to poke them, move them out of the way and search inside them for cancerous lumps. All of which is great because I like boobies.
I even have some late and great news about boobies. So Lets talk boobies.
Well, more specifically, fake boobies. But to most any booby is good booby. As most of us here that have played tomb raider can testify, even fake computer generated turgid melons are good booby.
For some odd reason, people want big booby. Itís a risk, because lots of things can happen. If youíre curious have a look at the links to the boobies below.
So the funky booby news? Well, some clever people in Japan have come up with a new technique that going to change everything. Itís a double whammy of surgical techniques that allow two cosmetic surgeries for the price of one.
First comes liposuction. They suck all the fat off your ass and thighs. Then they separate the fat cells from the fat stem cells (these cells mature into fat cells if you eat enough lard). They then mould a scaffolding of fat and lo! Insert it into you waiting bosoms.
Awesome. Lipo and implants. Plus they wonít rupture and theyíll feel natural.
There is a problem however. And this is why Iím talking about this on a hardcore gamers site, where the most booby most people only get to see is their own man boobies.
The fat that you can implant is limited by the fat you can take out. If you donít have much, they canít give you bigger boobs. So where are you going to get it from? Us.
Weíre heading for greatness. I can see a day where theyíll pay you for your fat. Where being fat isnít a stigma, itís a job. Fat donor to the rich and famous.
Awesome I say. Bring it on, and get me another burger too.