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I will do this properly soon...

The short of it is: I started on an Atari ST back in the 80's as a little kid playing Fun School 4 (which I will still stand by as the best educational video game EVAR!) and James Pond with my little brother. Eventually I moved on to PC, specifically Lucas Arts point and click games, The Incredible Machine and Prince of Persia...cd\games\prince :D yay!

However I was converted to Nintendo upon winning a NES shortly after they had just come out. I will forever be in the debt of Golden Grahams for making me the kid who owned Super Mario Bros.

I then stood by Nintendo religiously, especially during the dark ages of N64 and Gamecube , idolizing Shigeru Miomoto as my Jesus and creator of everything fantastic. It was only when Rare were bought by Microsoft, I gave in and submitted my Gamecube to EXT3 on the back of my telly to make space for my new, shiny, bought-on-my-credit-card-and-probably-still-haven't-paid-off-credit-card Xbox.

Oh I also owned a PS2 in brief amounts to play the GTAs, and would sell it as soon as I had raped them. Seriously, I felt like I was sitting in the house with someone who had murdered my family so I just couldn't bring myself to keep the thing. Fucking aids ridden monstrosity of a chav console...

I say that, but then Little Big Planet came out and stole my heart and I now own a PS3 as well. Madness. However, even LBP has taken a backseat to Fat Princess (the only game I play on PS3, and what a game!)
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As predicted by yours truly, Call of Duty:Modern Warfare 2 is much, much, much cheaper to get hold of in the UK than the 55 "bad hype is still hype" mark we were informed of months ago.

In case any fellow UK types haven't heard, here's the lowdown! Tonight, Sainsbury's ran an ad informing the unwitting public that COD:MW2 will be on sale, from launch for 26 smackers. Gosh blimey. I was pretty much bang on the money (be it with the wrong retailer). See anyone in Milton Keynes there at 7am!

You can actually get it even cheaper too believe it or not. A whole QUID cheaper! Tescos, with their cut throat tactics, as proven with the similar incident last month surrounding the launch of FIFA 10, are selling the game for 25 when bought with another full priced game. I don't know the exact details on this, but it may be worth a gander if Sainsbury's sell out as they obviously will around 7:01am.

Oh and on a final note, Gamestation, Game and Block-full-of-shit-buster have all told me that they will not be pricematching the supermarket prices and will be selling at the 40-45 mark. You know, the same price ALL fucking games sell for? Activision need to win a prize for the amount of viral marketing they managed to do with this game, they are evil geniuses...
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Well, well, put a 35p sticker on me, throw me in to a petrol station and call me the Daily Mail but I heard me a beautiful and more importantly, plausible claim from an employee at my local Blockbuster today. Yes, that's right, he told me that word has it, don't tell anyone, but Blockbuster will definitely be selling COD:MW2 on Xbox for less than 35. Hmm.

Let me explain what this feller said, he said that word is, firstly, that Game (UK equivilant of GameStop) have secured a special 35 price tag for the game's launch. Furthermore, as Blockbuster within the past year have realised that movies are for bell ends and everyone likes games now, they have a new, rather awesome policy that says they will always give the best trade in prices and will always sell games cheaper than any other high street store.

Therefore, with this news flying about, Blockbuster staff have been informed that the game will be priced at 32.99 making it quite possibly the single cheapest new release triple-A title to have been launched possibly forever - quite a contrast from previous suggestions of it being the most expensive non-peripheral game of this generation.

Why do I think this is plausible? Well, considering that this game is going to sell more than any other game ever, if I was Mr. Game or Mr. Blockbuster I would want some of the action. In fact, knowing the number of gamers, parents and spouses the game is going to draw, I would make a loss. You see the [where is the bloody number key on a mac?!?!] NUMBER one way to increase sales in a high street shop in a time where online sales are accounting for more and more of people's Christmas spending is to literally just get them in at all costs.

If, let's say, a million billion more people come in to your shop over the Christmas period, buy a copy of COD:MW2 and one in 10 them buy one of those shitty Wii tennis rackets which they buy in for 75p and sell for 10, they're going to make a massive amount of money from that even if they're losing money on the game in the first place. Ok the maths is clearly wrong in that statement, but you get what I'm saying yea?

Of course, the question is: why would Mr. Game tell Mr. Blockbuster about his wicked plan for world domination? Well that my friends...ismybusseeya!










Ok, ok, this may not be news to everyone, but it's news to me and I am a HOOGE guitar hero fan here so I am surprised that I haven't heard about this (it was actually announced at GDC 07...so yea...)

Guitar rising is coming out late this year and it is a PC based guitar hero evolution where you plug in an actual electric guitar and play along to one of 30 pre installed songs. What excites me is, if I know anything about PC games, and I do, then this will get hacked to buggary and we will instantly see all songs you've every wanted to learn to play on guitar appear on here for you to learn. Seriously, I have a feeling this is going to be really big - maybe not as big as Guitar Hero or Rock Band due to the fact you have to fork out for a real guitar, but either way - fucking laarge!

Check out the video and more details at the official webiste - http://www.guitarrising.com/










Last night something very special happened - I earned the "Meet Your Maker" achievement on Guitar Hero III. For those not in the know; this means that by some coincidence, I just so happened to get matched online against one of the development team from guitar hero and I beat them. What makes it even sweeter is that it was on a song I'd not even got to on career, so it was the first time I'd ever had a go at it! Whoop-de-whoop!

I have quite a modest gamerscore but this single achievement means much, much more to me than the 20G I got for it as I haven't actually seen anyone else with it just yet. I invite the destructoid community to make haste and piss on my parade by telling me that everyone has this achievement and I should shut up. Or failing that I leave the open question: what's your favorite achievement that you've earned and why?

Anyway, I need to go call my grandma and tell her the good news!
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Quick post today as I am at work...

London authorities have banned a poster for the new Burnout for promoting violence and vandalism! Fucking rediculous! The ruling on Manhunt 2 seems to genuinely have opened the floodgates to this kind of shit. Gamers for Gaming FTW!

BBC News story here










Sorry about the mildly sensationalist title; I will explain the choice later on (of course it's partly to do with attention seeking, what am I talking about)

I live in a small "new city" called Milton Keynes in the UK. We can't call ourselves an actual city yet as The fucking Queen has to give us permission first. Apparently we don't have a tall enough cathedral or something, not that I care, I'm way too cool for that. Anyway, I stray from my point; I live in the UK, and as I have just demonstrated, it is a fairly backwards place to live. This is why a group of people who were employed to give age ratings to films are given the power by Mr Cockmuncher Blair and Co. to completely ban a video game.

Yes yes, I know it's a particularly "visceral" game of sorts, but the fact of the matter is: I was looking forward to it coming out and I'm pretty sure, as a semi-emotionally-stable man it wouldn't have done me any damage. I have felt so outraged about the UK ban since I heard about it yesterday lunchtime that I haven't stopped talking about it for one second. This has meant that I've picked up quite a few interesting viewpoints along the way. I've picked up quite a few boring one's as well, don't you worry. But as I was saying, some people have actually given me sensible logical opinions on the matter which has been really nice.

It was the conversation I had with my dad which really stuck. I basically asked him if he'd heard the news, being quite the Radio 4 listener he is (basically old people radio, sorry dad) and the fact they often have debates on current events. Yes; he had heard about it. I then explained my standpoint that the BBFC would never ban a film like this in a million years, and if people want to play a game, they should have the same rights to access this artform as any other media. Basically it's just one more signal that England and the rest of the UK is turning in to a nanny state where our government can pick what they think we can or can not do.

My dad then gave me that knowing smile. That smile which I know only materialises when he completely disagrees with my point of view on something; which was nothing I didn't expect to see, after all he didn't even condone me playing Super Mario Bros on the NES... After a nice pause to watch me squirm he responded, straight up, with asking me what I would think if someone made and released a game themed around paedophilia. Obviously I told him I would be disgusted. Even if there was a large group who wanted to play a game simulating child abuse, it should never be justified with a release as the subject matter is so catagorically evil. Then what is the difference?

Have I been so demoralised regarding the subject of torture and violence through films and games such as Manhunt that maybe, just maybe I have become a bit of a sicko? I mean I do genuinely look forward to eventually having the opportunity of strangling a bloke to death with my wiimote and nunchuck quite a lot (thank God I go on holiday to Spain next month!), so is this because I am actually a violence pervert? In fact are we, gamers, as a collective, a bunch of sick mother fuckers? You know what? NO!, we fucking aren't. Shall I tell you why?

When I first watched a horror film as a child I was shit scared and so I found a way to not be scared. What was this? This was making sure I remembered the difference between a film and real life. I then reached the point where I didn't just watch horror movies so I could lie in the hope of touching a girls boob when she got scared, I appreciated the artform and the way the director managed to conjour up emotions in the minds of the audience. Never in a million years, would I even imagine anything I was watching being done to a real person, let alone enjoy the thought. It's the difference between watching Tom & Jerry and bludgeoning your little brother in the face with a hot steam iron.

So when can we expect to be treated as adults and be allowed to play games as diverse in subject matter as you would find in any other artform? In our lifetimes thankfully. We are living in the rise of the videogame. Our childhoods were the emergance stage, but this is now the time that games become just as important and varied as films. This means that the 50 year old cunts working at the BBFC in 20 years time will probably have in the past (ie today) joined you and I in being very annoyed about this whole media disaster revolving what is all in all just a FUCKING COMPUTER FUCKING GAME.

Oh and yes, the answer is yes, it is much, much worse than fucking a baby, just some people seem to think that the "morality markers" for doing it and for Manhunt are a lot closer together than they actually are. Bunch of bell ends :p