In an attempt to make Fallout 3 Fun again I've started playing it and writing down my impressions as a dairy, in character. You know that Pipboy 3000 can do some pretty cool things. Also installed some mods, but always looking for more.... Anyway here are her thoughts on the tutorial levels.
The Dairy entries of Anita age 10 to 19
My 10th Party!
OMG A PIPBOY 3000 I wonder if it comes in pink….
Who is this girl? And why do I find myself attracted to her and yet I want to bash her head in?
How can a Robot do magic tricks?
I hope this Beatrice bitch dies a horrible death, she wrote me a poem and is treating me like I’m a 5 yearold. I got this god damn ugly Pipboy now, that makes me 10 or something and a viable cog in the vault machine. Even though each generation our gene pool gets lower and lower. I feel I’m going to end up bashing her head in.
Fucker just said “my daughter seems to really like you for some reason” I swear to god I’m going to make him eat those words one day. No one talks to me like that. He’ll get his come upins.
“Still time to make something of myself?” Where does that old bastard get off telling me this. I’m 10 years old for god sakes. He’s on my list. MY LIST for REVENGE!
OMG A SURPRSE PRESENT from Dad and his creepy “I think more than just lab assistant” Jonas!
Okay I’m down in the bellows of the Vault a few metal coated and sound proof yards from anyone, ti’s just my Dada, Jonas and myself, he asks “Are you ready for your surprise?” Why do I get the sinking sentations this is going to be a memory I’m going to have to block out? I’m just a wee Vault girl ☹
He’s says I’ll likey it and I’m getting older….OMG A BB GUN!?!?!?! Just want every 10 year old girl wants…. Hmmm fine a weapon is a weapons. Lets see if what I can kill with it!
Oh man target practice! I wonder when we shall raid the Overseers office and take this place over! I could get used to being Princess of the Vault, that bitch Amata needs a slap or two to the face.
OMG my first kill, and dada wants a pic ☺AWESOME!! Next time, a picture of use standing on top of the overseers corpse!
OMG GOAT exam…
WTF why would any name something G.O.A.T that’s just stupid. Read in the archives about this old “website” called goats.ex I mean did the same people come up with this exam? Ugh trying to fake ill, but dad isn’t buying it, maybe I shouldn’t have slept with Freddie Gomez last week. Been hurling every morning. Shit….
Asked Dad about Mom, something in his eyes and it makes me wish I met her. Ugh then more about the GOAT…
Man dad is being so melodramatic asked him about the outside and he got all everyone was born here and that’s what the supreme Overseer thinks. Man this place is so dull I wish someone would come in or escape. Shake things up. Ugh off to take the GOAT exam (Maybe after they’ll give us some Milk since we just milked the GOAT…. Get it? I need a life…)
OMG those Tunnel snake gang wannabe, cornholers are moving in on my main squeeze. I’m going to show these fags a thing or two. Honestly I can’t have them getting out of line, gotta as the old time movies say “Slap a bitch”
Oh how cute they want me to stay out their way. This should make for some fun. Awww talked them away, damn it I wanted a brawl damn it.
I’ve come up with a new name for Amata, Freckles! She will be mine!
Mr Brotch oh boy he seems like a regular guy, I mean aside from the fact he’s in charge of a bunch of sub dweller teens.
Ugh I’ts started I just don’t care, man I gotta pee. Oh man this test is really quite funny. So many choices I can be a dick about it. Honestly Granny, a pistol to kill someone? A minigun is so much more practical!
That comic shall be mine! AT ANY COSTS! Knock out drops and that issue is mine! At the next ComicCon I’ll be sure to trade it for some Superman issues, I’ve been reading Grognak for as long as I can remember….. ☹
ME! I know the answer! ME! It’s me!
Wait a minute WTF all the choices are the Overseer……. FUCK HIM UGHHHH He’s sooo dead.tside.
One night when I’m 19…
Amata wakes me up, man and it’s not for a roll in the hay. They’ve killed Jonas…wtf why… DAD LEFT THE VAULT THAT ASS! Left me here…. Revenge is what I’m planning on doing! Ugh she wants me to Leave the Vault…. The outside, hmmmm better than this cramped tin can I guess. Okay Escape it is! I listent o her plan but in one ear and out the other, I’ll make it on my own!
Slayed my first victim, an Officer Kendall, man atleast I have better equipment! FEAR ME VAULT 101! Your days are numbered!
Oh great Butch needs help, what a pansy….. He’s going to owe me one. Oh his alcohol mom needs help…. This should be good ☺ Man a tunnel snakes jacket. He owes me more than that.. This just makes me look like an asshole.
They are beating up amata…. Oh those bitches are dead Oh she pulled the gun on them. Go go Amata! Shoot that Overseer asshole! She shot the officer. Just me and the Overseer now… ☺
Ah got the Keys and Password tot eh outside, a little threat on his daughter’s wellbeing goes a long way.
Found the creepy body of Jonas, time to see what he has on him, he won’t need his stuff anymore. Cout>>”SCORE!”;
A note from dad… to me…. HOPING I UNDERSTAND?!?!?!?!?! So many things could of gone wrong… HONESTLY… something he needed to do, I’m going to find this asshole of a father. Oh don’t follow well he doesn’t know the bitch he raised then.
Amata is upset, I bet I can get her to come with me. Us together against the world. We would so use our feminine charms to own whatever lays outside.
Scouting Reports…. 2241-02-10…. What they’ve been outside before…. WTF Okay Outside world here I fucking come!
I opened the door, Amata is there to greet me. She’s not going to come with me. NO I NEED HER! We can always come back and save the poor idiots in this vault.
I leave the vault, and enter some sort of cave, I find a an exit, there is this light that hurts my eyes not like the vault artifical light that I’ve know since before I born, this is different, sun light. The exit has wire and wood fencing, with what looks like a door that all I need to do is push open, I take a deep breath, I hear the metal cog of a door close behind me, with the shouts and curses from the men that tried to stop me from leaving. I reach from the handle, and my hand shakes. All I have known is the vault, all I have ever hated is the vault. I hear this noise, I believe this is what they call wind. It’s time to find out what the real world holds. I take that final step and start my new life.
It’s beautiful. I see it now, I forgive Dad for leaving me behind, it’s so beyond their small little minds.
I’ve waited all my life for something like this. Something new and different, there will be no more Mack or tunnel snakes or overseer telling me what to do. I make my own choices and step forth on my own journey. I can finally say FUCK ‘EM! This land is mine for the taking and in it I shall crave my destiny!
Now what the fuck do I do.. Hey I think I see a structure in the distance.... Well next chance I get...
For those unenlightened heathens that have no idea what Stargate: Worlds is, let me just say this...
It's a game being made by a group of people called Cheyenne Mountain Entertainment, who looked at an already overcrowded market and said "Me too!"
(Wait a minute Cheyenne Mountain? isn't that where SG command is supposed to be based...that can't be a coincidence!)
The game takes place in Stargate Universe. From what I've been able to cobble together, you don't play as part of SG Command, you seem to play as part of one of the other many factions found throughout the Stargate Universe. I think, not real sure (damn this syphilis really is making my brain rot)but hey you get to travel through the Stargate to alien worlds, and you know they're going to look damn pretty since they're using the Unreal 3 engine!
If you've gotten this far you've either skipped past the piece of tripe I wrote or your some fucking mental patient that can appreciate my dry wit!
I thought it was pretty entertaining, that whole bit with the "We come in peace...wait no we don't!" was really the cat's pajamas!
While perusing through the plethora of websites on the interweb, I came across this little gem.
Apparently someone thought it would be neat to create a Mario Mushroom shaped tin and then fill it with mushroom shaped sour candies. (Sweet Tarts anyone?) While It would be cooler if the Mushroom itself was one giant lollipop, but alas no.
Wait a minute I must sound like a spammer, well it is my job but I don't spam this sort of thing! Its more sexual in nature... Wait okay never mind about that last bit, it falls into the too much information category. Anyway check it out, the site also has your generic geek wear.
The first thing you're probably wondering is "Oh, Dorock, you're so
amazing! But you see, I have been living under a rock for the past
decade and I have no idea what the hell OHRRPGCE stands for!" Well
that, gentle reader, is easy to explain. It stands for "The Official
Hamster Republic Role Playing Game Construction Engine." Now stop
scratching your head! What it is in a nutshell is a program that
allows the user to create their very own role playing game using a
very simple editor. ( Okay, from here on out role-playing game is going
to be called RPG. I know most of you know what I'm talking about. I
just want to make sure we're all on the same page ).
Wow! You clicked the jump, well let's continue. First, a bit of its
history in detail. The construction engine was first created by James
Paige, who set out with a dream to make a tool that would be simple
and easy to use for the creation of RPGs similar to Final Fantasy VI
or any other RPG from the SNES era. That means it's entirely sprite
based! (Oh, those were the days… give me beautiful 16-color sprites
over 3D bouncing jubblies anyday) The engine first saw the light of
day over ten years ago. It was originally programmed in Quick Basic
(Yes, someone did actually program something useful in that archaic
language) and it was later ported over to Freebasic as support for
Quick Basic stopped sometime in this or the last millennium. So it's
ancient but it has aged quite well due to the constant support of a
rabid and unrelenting community (Hey, this sounds familiar). So after
years of working on the dream alone, in 2005 James released the source
under a General Public License and what followed was a massive orgy
resulting in the birth of a million tiny hamsters. However, these
bright young hamsters never reached adolescence due to the Hamster
Republic bill of 2005 that called for every hamster under the age of 3
weeks to be eaten by their mother. This event was follow by much
Now that I've bored you tears and gotten some of the facts screwed up,
I'll give you a run down of what you can actually do with this thing.
There are two main components to the engine, first we have the
game-editor called the CUSTOM.EXE, and this is where you actually
create content for your game. All game content created with the
game-editor is stored in a single .RPG file. Next we have GAME.EXE,
where well…hmmm can you figure it out? That's RIGHT! (I knew you
weren't like the rest and actually have a brain in that hollowed out
pumpkin on your shoulders) It's the program that takes your awesome
<insertradrpgnamehere>.rpg file, and turns it into a bunch of pixels.
Then those pixels turn into something that looks kinda like a game.
Within the game-editor, everything and anything can be created - such
as maps, attack animations, items, vehicles, enemies, towns, evil
maniacal robots bent on taking over the world using their army of
rabid fans (you know that dream you never seem to stop having?) You
create graphics for your game by either using the built in editors, or
by importing images created by using some sort of a paint program. You
are only limited by your imagination, oh and your artistic ability.
(But hey, that's what ripping sprites from your favorite RPG is for.)
A lot can be accomplished with these basic tools. However, for the
more advanced user there is a scripting language called Hamster Speak.
This is used to make your game a bit more interesting; with it you can
create anything from a simple cutscene to having your game transcend
from a simple RPG to a sidescoller.
Well that pretty much sums up what the OHRRPGCE is, what it's used for
and whatever the hell else I said in the past six paragraphs. Now onto
the question: "Dorock, why should we care about this?" Well, my
pretties, anything that can keep a group of people banded together for
ten years is something worth caring about in my book. That and the
fact it gives you the ability to make your very own games without
actually needing to know how to program is a pretty good reason I
think! Plus it's a good way to get some understanding on how to
develop and create your own game. (Yes, I know maybe a tad contrived
game but still!)
Finally the last reason is that there are just so many great games
and some that aren't so great… made by a very talented community
that are just begging to be played.
For those interested in making their own games, check out
the OHRRPGCE's project site to get started. Anyone that is interested in just
playing some of the games should head on over to Castle Paradox It's
the most popular site for the OHR community and it features an active
forum and a gamelist.
I just thought I would try and bring a little attention to this very
Games of Interest for those interested:
MagnusAWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!! Lolz- Cult Classic that launched a thousand spin-offs.