For anyone who thinks that Mario Kart is all about good clean family fun, you’ve obviously never Karted with us. We’re a bit scattered, but there will still be some waggling going on tonight. I’ve tried to be really nice all week, but once Kart starts up that will all get thrown out the window. Come one out and throw down with us for as long as your ears can take it.
Nintendo fanboys unite! You are not alone. Stand strong and believe in yourselves. If those motivational words fail to boost your spirits in the face of the Wii’s’ meager online offerings, well there’s really not much you can do about it, so do what we do and gather for a night brawling, bombing, karting, and fragging on the world famous WFC.
Ryu89 is hosting Brawl Brawl Code: 0817-3428-3165
Skype: Ryuh89
Time: 11pm EST
You’ll find more of us here:
Mario Kart: Digtastik Kart Kode: 2020 0092 3270
Craineum Kart Kode: 3738 0140 6156
York that is. Craineum and I hopped a flight to England. I assume it was an uneventful flight. I'm sure Iwas drunk the entire time; it's the only way I can fly. Once we touched down, we nabbed a car. Not justany car, a sloppy jalopy. Cruising down an old country road we approached our destination - a pine treelined drive where we find Brother Banj standing in the morning sunlight. Though we'd never met, it waslike a reunion of long lost brothers. We take off in our jalopy to destinations unknown, Banj's long whiteBiggles scarf trailing in the wind.
Scene 2 - Dogfight!
Our destination turns out to be the theater. The crowd is hushed as the curtains part. Lightning flashesand thunder booms, ushering in the battle theme. Descending from the rafters, the combatants glare atone another. Dig and Craineum in full Snoopy and Woodstock attire brace for the attack from atop theSopwith Camel. The Red Banj dives from the clouds an attempt to draw first blood. Each pass isaccompanied by gasps and cheers from the crowd. The crowd waits with bated breath as the battleseems to be winding down, no victor apparent, when just then...
I awake.
The Meaning:
The Players - Craineum, Digtastik, and Banj This one's not so far fetched; Craineum and I spend too much time together apparently(just ask his wife). We work, lunch, and play games together. Banj, well, his is one of those strong personalities that I was talking about. He reminds me of my good friend Rob, that is if Rob looked different and had an English accent.
The Travel - Pax '09. Craine and I apprently missed out on a lot of fun last year and decided at that time that we'd be taking a trip across the states this time around.
The Car - Not real sure about this one. I just had this image of us joyriding in some rag top sloppy jaloppy with Banj wearing a flight helmet and goggles with his Biggles scarf trailing behind us in the wind. Perhaps it was based on the misadventures of Serpy and the Banjit from last year.
The Aerial Theatrics - Dig and Craineum battle Banj a la Snoopy vs the Red Baron My best guess is that it was inspired by Banj's stage play here. That and my love of Snoopy and Woodstock.
There you have it. I just admitted I had a dream about Snoopy LARPing with a couple of other dudes. Super. See you all at PAX.
*Next up is a cookout at Dyson's place with Topher the rogue.*
Most of these things I don't normally discuss, so there should be a few new things here that folks can still learn about little ol' me.
1) I had a really ugly bike in grade school My bike was so ugly it made the older kids pick on me. Everyday after school I had to climb a tree to free my bike from where those bastards had staged their bicycle lynchings.
2) I am sore afraid of LARPers I started playing Dungeons & Dragons in the 4th grade. I've always enjoyed that stuff, but as an adult, getting invited to pelt a bunch of dudes with bean bags in the woods don't do it for me.
3) I saw the Jackson 5 Victory tour Yeah, I went to Dallas and saw MJ hee hee it up with his bros. I think i was 9 or so.
4) I have a bb in my leg My cousin popped me with a Crossman air rifle. The bb was nestled snugly behind my shin. Doc said best to leave it there. I did shoot my cuz back, but he leapt into the air and it went through his thigh.
5) I got in trouble for beating up a handi-capable kid in junior high I didn't want to... the guy had a crush on me and grabbed my ass everday on the bus. I'd asked him not to do that and apparently that pissed him off. He jumped on my back and started hitting, scratching and biting me. The bus driver gets on the bus right as I'm bashing the kid's head against the back of the seat. Yeah, I looked like the bad guy.
6) I sang at Lincoln Center My choir took a trip on a greyhound from NE Louisiana to NYC when I was in 9th grade. Yeah, put a bunch of hormonal high school kids on a bus and ship them to New York. Amazing roadtrip.
7) I corrupted a bunch of nuns in Ireland While visiting some nuns in a monastery in Ireland, I installed a modem in their office computer and got their ISP access set up. Everyone knows the internet's for porn.
8) I'm friends with a real life gladiator. American, that is.
9) I have gigantic balls My wife always wanted to hear me sing, but I'd never do it in front of her. When I finally did, it was during our wedding reception. Every chick in the place wanted my junk; every cat in the joint wanted to beat my ass.
10) I love yacht rock. I can't hear "What a Fool Believes" without bobbing my head and tappin my toes. Micahael McDonald, Kenny Loggins, Hall and Oates... I just can't help mahseff.
I know at least a few of you will get a nice chuckle out of this. I'm also positive that someone
will whip out the "that's so gay!" stick. Chad and Colette might even get scared...
The Dreaming The summer morning sun pours through the window into the tiny room. The three youngsters sit bathed in sunlight on the edge of the little yellow bed. They gaze at the small television in awe as the title screen lights up their eager faces. The two boys can no longer contain their excitement and leap from the bed screaming, "Mega Man 9! Mega Man 9! Mega Man9!" while throwing up a high-five as only two nerdy white kids can.
"Guys! Can we play the fucking game already?!?" shouts Colette. Chad and Dig glare at her as if shocked that she'd dare interrupt their celebration. "Oh my God! Oh my God! This is going to be AMAZING!!!" gushes Chad. In his excitement, Dig loses all control and tries show his girl gamer friend his best finishing moves.
Before Chad can press Start, he drops the controller with a shrill shriek as Colette slaps Dig in the face. Suddenly Colette's grandmother *BAMFS!* into the room. She shouts at Colette, "You get home right this instance young lady! I won't have you playing with the likes of these two hooligans!" "But! But! But! This is bullshit Grandma! He was just excited about Mega Man 9!" Colette protests.
Colette and her grandmother leave the room and as the door shuts, Chad declares, "Well, too bad for her. You're my new best friend! Yay Mega Man 9!" ...and the played and played and played.
The Meaning As with any dream, some of this crap just makes no sense. Other parts are much easier to
figure out. Let's do this.
The Location: This was my bedroom during the 80s. I had a hideous yellow bed spread
and a dip in the bed where my friends and I parked our asses to play Atari and Nintendo in
front of my tiny tv.
The Game: This dream occurred in the weeks leading up to the Mega Man 9 release
and I was really looking forward to downloading it. Oddly, we were playing it on my SNES. That makes no
sense due to the game's 8-bit leanings(also we were playing this in the 80s). Perhaps the
SNES made its appearance simply because it's the best damned console ever.
The Players: Chad, Colette and Me. I really enjoy RetroforceGo! and since Chad and Colette
tend to be the most vocal, they got to be my gamer friends.
The High Five: Nerdy white guys should never attempt to do this, but they occasionally forget that
and attempt it every now and again.
The Kiss: I can only imagine that part went something like this...
but with a girl... and uh, Mega Man 9. Or maybe it was that I never had any female gamer
friends during that wonderful coming of age time. I got nothin' on this one.
Grandma: I liken her to Nightcrawler since she really just appeared from thin air. Although she wasn't
getting rid of Colette's SNES, she did keep her from playing it in this dream.
The End: Well... I think this was young Chad demonstrating his loose allegiances when
it comes to friends and video games.
So, I guess that's it for this dream. Next time, Craineum and Digtastik travel overseas
for a magical joyride with the Red Baron.
I'll be starting a new dream series detailing the ridiculous subconscious meanderings of a middle aged gaming fanatic.
Destructoid is a great community with quite a few very strong personalities. I have get my daily dose of chuckles from the cblogs, podcasts, and forums. Even though I haven't met most of the people that I interact with here, these interactions have become a part of my daily grind just the same. As much time as I spend here, it is only natural then that my brain would continue to sift through these daily ramblings as my body rests. I happen to be one of those people that remember the contents of my dreams; I've yet to decide if this is a good thing.
What I do know is that I have a head full of Destructoid. Over the past few months, I have had a handful Destructoid related dreams surface. At first, I thought it was a bit strange and more than a little bit obsessive. I hesitantly confessed to my retro gaming partner in crime, Craineum, that I was having Destructoid dreams. His first response was to just utter the single word, "Issues."
He was only half joking I imagine(pot vs kettle), but after I told him about that first dream, he eventually stopped laughing and said "Cblog."
It's taken a bit convincing, but in a few days I'll begin posting rundowns of my first few Destructoid dreams. I envision this being a kind of dream analysis series. I'll document the contents of the dreams and a breakdown of what I believe they were all about. After the first few, we'll just have to see if they continue.
I suspect that I'll catch a bit of abuse for these posts, but when you get to be our age, you've really lost all sense of shame.
Absolutely No Shame
So get ready for some high adventure/misadventure tales from the depths of Digtastik's Dreamland. The first one stars a couple of well known RetroforceGO! members, an elderly woman, and a little guy we all know and love as Mega Man - and no, it has nothing to do with Craineum's progeny.
Systems NES, SNES, N64, Gamecube, Wii, Playstation, PS2, Dreamcast, DS Phat, white DS Lite, zelda DS Lite, 360
CURRENTLY PLAYING Wii:
NOT A DAMNED THING
NES:
Super Mario Bros 3
DS:
Retro Game Challenge
PSX:
Final Fantasy VIII
Here is a listing of games that I recall most(for whatever reasons) from my
many console days
Atari 2600 1) River Raid - Hell yeah! KISS's Lovegun album was my soundtrack for this one.
2) Swordquest Earthworld/Fireworld - I had no clue what the hell I was doing here.
3) Crystal Castles - I liked it with the trackball control in the arcade cabinet better
4) Pitfall - Nuff said.
5) Star Raiders - I thought the keypad controller was cool, other than that I thought the game really sucked.
6) Venture - The cart had a cool logo.
7) Adventure - Watch out for that fucking duck!
8) Ghost Manor - I think Dracula used to eat my lunch at the end of this lame ass game.
9) Sneek and Peek - So lame. NO. It's my turn, YOU close YOUR eyes.
10) Tutankham - I was an early tomb raider.
11) Smurf - Who in the 80s wouldn't want to play this?
12) Raiders of the Lost Ark - All I remember is trying parachute into that little freaking cave or ledge or whatever the hell it was. What was it about these games that was so appealing? I have no idea.
NES 1) Super Mario Bros - The game that taught me I'd play games for the rest of my life. I was too scared to play it at the 7 Eleven when all of the high school kids were there watching me fail mise
2) The Legend of Zelda - I was intrigued by the commercial of the dude saying "Ze-lda. Ze-lda?" and even though it featured battery backup, we still wouldn't turn the console off.
3) Metroid - Exploration and backtracking was a bitch. We drew some pretty funny maps.
4) Castlevania - I played the hell out of this. The soundtrack in this game is forever stuck in my head. Flipped out the first time whe knocked off Drac's head and he transformed into that giant something or other and kicked my ass.
5) Contra - Duh. Spread Gun.
6) Solomon's Key - I'm a sucker for good puzzlers.
7) Mighty Bomb Jack - Wow, don't ask.
8) Chubby Cherub - Don't laugh, you probably owned some shitty games too, what with that Nintendo Seal of Quality and all.
9) Kung Fu - "Bwah ha ha ha ha" Sweep the Leg!
10) Rygar - Wait, this is nothing like the arcade. This game sucks!
11) Mike Tyson's Punch Out - I was always scared of Bald Bull in the arcade, hell, this cabinet itself was intimidating... then they had to throw Tyson in the mix for humiliation at home.
12) Kid Icarus - The eggplant wizard.. W.T.F? Another great soundtrack.
13) Capcom - I thought every capcom game was gold.. ghosts n goblins, commando, bionic commando, gunsmoke, trojan, megaman, megaman2 ,194x
14) Ikari Warriors - Pure testosterone
15) Stinger - Cute boxing ship blows up weird shit.
Sega Master System (I never owned it, just played/borrowed it)
1) Fantasy Zone - Funny eggship blows up weird shit.
2) Phantasy Star - my friend loaned it to me. I loved the 3-d dungeon
crawling aspect.
Genesis 1) Altered Beast - "Awise fwom your gwave!"
2) Golden Axe - Before I ever rode Yoshi, I kicked ass with a different smooth ride.
3) Ghouls N Ghosts - I hated that freaking sword; tried my best to avoid picking it up, but you could be certain that something would knock your ass backward into it at the absolute worst time.
4) Strider - when I first played this at the college rec, I was awed by the giant bosses. I cringed every time I had to kill a bikini clad amazon warrior.
5) Phantasy Star 2 - Another amazing RPG. I don't find it as amazing anymore..
6) Skitchin - Come on, tell me it's not fun.
7) Sword of Vermilion - This game looked so cool; I never finished it.. not so cool I guess.
SNES 1) Super Mario World - Yoshi!
2) Link to the Past - With the light and dark worlds, I felt like I was getting twice the game.
3) Super Punchout - I just can't find anything wrong with these games. Pure fun!
4) Secret of Mana - Epic. My roommates and I traded the controller during play so we could all share in the experience.
5) Shadowrun - I need to grab a copy of this again; I'm pretty sure you could hijack electronic funds in this one.
6) Contra 3 - Contra good. Overhead levels still suck.
7) Super Castlevania - Amazing, though I expected more from Dracula's last battle.
8) Magic Sword - D&D hack N slash dork fest. My kind of game.
9) Super Metroid - Phenomenal game. Spawned the whole exploration subscreen mapping dynamic.
10) UN Squadron - Loved this game in the arcade. I have a couple of the comics(Area 88). Another Capcom classic.
11) Out of this World - Before there was Abe..
12) Super Mario Kart - Hours and hours of fun with my roomies and beer were had with this solid racer.
13) StarFox - Ugly and awesome.
N64 1) Super Mario 64 - I was sitting in a cubicle with a bunch of other software guys the first time I saw this.. my roommate called in sick for 2 days while he played and played and played.
2) Zedla OoT - Probably my favorite zelda. I like the young/old time travel dynamic. The dungeons were great and the bosses were a blast.
3) Blast Corps - Tear shit up.
4) Donkey Kong Country 64 - I love these mario 64 clones.
5) Banjo Kazooie - Another good mario64 clone, often quite humorous
6) Banjo Tooie - Expansive; fun but with frame rate issues
7) Turok - My first solid console FPS once you got accustomed to the control scheme
8) Conker - I loved the pop culture references and crude humor; I thought it was a damned fun game.
9) Mario Kart 64 - Power slides were a breeze. This was a good follow up.
10) Rogue Squadron - The best Stars Wars game I'd ever played(sorry Supers).
11) Golden Eye - Bond baby
12) Perfect Dark - makers of Golden Eye; I was sold
13) Paper Mario - clever game
14) StarFox64 - Prettier by far than the original, and it had somewhat free raoming dogfight levels.
Playstation 1) Resident Evil - This scared the hell out of me.
2) Resident Evil 2 - This was one of my faves in the series.
3) Tomb Raider - I love the whole Indiana Jones tomb raiding idea. Now with more breast.
4) Tomb Raider 2 - I hate boats now.
5) Metal Gear Solid - This game made me REALLY respect Konami(not that I didn't worship them already).
6) Final Fantasy VII - I'd been away from RPGs for a looooooong time. It was a good time to come back.
Dreamcast 1) Soul Caliber - The reason I bought this system. So many good gatherings around this game.
2) Virtua Tennis - There's no better tennis game in my mind.
3) Shenmue - A beautiful adventure game that I've yet to finish. Some peckerhead lost one of my discs.
4) Skies of Arcadia - A brilliant RPG. I love the turn based ship battles.
5) Resident Evil Code Veronica - Bumped RE2 as my fave in this series.
6) Draconus: Cult of the Wyrm - I'm a complete D&D dork, so yeah, I love this game.
7) Toy Commander - I thought this was a great idea/game. The environments were a hoot. Crayon missiles rock.
Gamecube 1) Rogue Leader - A prettier Rogue Squadron. Love. It.
2) Mario Sunshine - I actually enjoyed it. Pretty and not the same as its predecessor.
3) Zelda Windwaker - The only gripe I had here was the small dungeon count, but I love the revelations later in the game. I also adore the art style; felt like I was playing a Disney movie.
4) Luigi's Mansion - Come on, you liked it a little too.
5) Turok - Memorable in that it was an absolute turd of a game and I was pissed that I couldn't bring myself to like it.
6) Eternal Darness - I loved the mind games and the way the story played out through different time periods.
7) Beyond Good and Evil - This is an absolute gem of a game. I need to replay it again soon. I still hope for a follow up.
8) Pikmin - Attack!
9) Timesplitters2 - Great multiplayer and co-op game.
10) Resident Evil 4 - The best RE ever. ever. ever.
PS2 1) God of War - The only reason I have a PS2
There you have it. That should tell you a bit about my taste in games. To
those games I've missed, please know that I love you too.. I'm sure.
Destructoid is an independently-run publication forged by our love of video games and the gaming community's need of accountable enthusiast press living the dream since March 16, 2006
