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Hi! I'm me... I liek video games... and the internet...

Occasionally I write for NegativeGamer.com

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The VGAs took my innocence
darkwhitehair | 4:38 PM on 12.21.2008 2 comments


I feel so happy for those children who, along with their parents sat down to watch the Spike Video Game Awards together. What a wonderful way for families to bond together, watching Jack Black perform sexual acts on the Xbox 360 AND the Playstation 3, he isn't into JUST ONE console, because he is no fanboy, just really really weird. Not to be outdone, the man came back dressed in an underwear, because what says "TEH AWESOMEZ" better than a man in an underwear.

As the night went on, I was aware of how all of this spectacle in no way properly honored the games and the video game makers that have worked so hard to make our little community more mainstream. Throughout the show, I was laughing, mainly AT them and crying on the inside. I wondered what people like Kim Kardashian and super models and other "celebrities" had anything to do with video games. Where was Michael Hollick? or Jason Zumwalt, I wanted to see some more Niko and Roman Bellic. But alas, all I would get is Kevin James skit. I also wanted to see Miyamoto play Wii Music onstage and being boo-ed off, but that's just a silly dream. If you can have a "Best Shooter" and a "Best RPG" catagory and nominate Wii Music for best Music game, why is there no "Best Survival Horror Game" or "Best New Retro Game"?

I couldn't help but think how these guys



have more talent than most of the "artists" onstage, and how they could have been more relevant. But I don't plan TV shows, no one wants to watch an award show where people just get up on stage and thank "the fans" and "the people back home" who made their dreams possible. That wouldn't have gotten as many viewers as it did, but it probably wouldn't have given me nightmares about Jack Black fornicating with my beloved consoles. Thank you writers for creating a small piece of video game history, now whenever someone talks about video games in the mainstream media, the "Jack Black Console Orgy" clip is just a click away.

I watched the "Awards" primarily for the Exclusive trailers, I wanted to see what Kratos and Nathan Drake were up to. Those trailers, Will Wright and Tim "Freakin" Schafer were probably the high point of the show. Perhaps we may never get a decent video game awards show, certainly not in Spike, where the best programs are "Manswers" and "Cheaters". But if ordinary people can create funny shows like "Mega 64" and "Hey Ash Watcha Playin" then why cant professional people create a decent award show? It was a slap in the face of Gametrailers TV, which actually is a pretty good TV show on video games.

Perhaps we can never have a decent Video Game Awards Show on TV, maybe we are forever banished on the internet, going from site to site, to look at their Video Game awards. But I do take away one good thing from this show, one positive experience. At least it wasn't as bad as the Emmys.



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2 comments | showing # 1 to 2
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Qraze's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/21/2008 17:39
Qraze
but it had neil patrick harris, who has never been in a video game but doogy hoiser. that said to me the awards were going down the way only a $10 whore would. fast and sloppy with a dirty feeling afterwards. forever tainted
ZServ's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/21/2008 18:20
ZServ
I'd take your innocence, if yknow what I mean. ;]
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