Community.
There’s something that can be potentially powerful about that word. It entails a sense of friendship, trust, and, maybe most important, belonging. Everyone wants to belong to something. Everyone needs to be wanted and accepted into some form of a community
Back around May ’07, I picked up Lord of the Rings Online. I was a 2-year veteran of WoW, and I was getting a little tired of the game, even after the expansion pack. So, I picked up LOTRO and loved it. Turbine nailed a lot of the Tolkien universe.
I did what you usually do in MMOs: level-up, grind, quest, gather materials, try to rip people off at the auction house…the usual. And as you usually do in MMOs, I joined a guild. I made friends. It didn’t seem to be anything different than what I did when playing WoW.
After a little bit over a couple months of playing LOTRO, I quit. Not because I was disinterested in the game, but because there were other games that I wanted to catch up on. I always planned on coming back. However, when I quit, I never told anyone in my guild. I mean, I had fun questing, talking, and hanging out with them, but it was just an online game. It wasn’t real life or anything…just a game. They wouldn’t even notice that I was gone, right?
Well, I finally started back up about a couple weeks ago. I found my old guild, recognized a few names, and asked if I could join back up. All of the sudden, I get bombarded by my old guild mates:
What happened? Where did you go?
We missed you! Of course, we noticed you were gone!
Why did you leave? Where have you been?
How has your family been? Don’t leave again!
I couldn’t believe it. I mean, this was just an online game. That’s it.
To most people on the outside, I was right. It is just a game, and a dorky one at that. Why should I feel bad about leaving online friends? But I did feel bad. I felt horrible. I felt like an ass. I also felt great that there was a community, however small, that missed me and was excited to accept me back. With all of my years in gaming, I never realized until this point how strong the video game community is.
So what is it that makes these online gaming friendships strong? Is it that we’re questing together, using our heads and skills to take down hard bosses and dungeons? Is it the sharing of items and materials, or the comradery you get from being in a group or “guild” of friends? Is it that, no matter what our other beliefs or views on life, we all have, at least, a common interest in video games?
Or maybe it’s easier to break the ice and approach someone in a video game that you may never see in person than it is to walk up and talk to someone you don’t know. Think about how much easier it is to ask someone to help you on a quest, make you an item, or ask to join a guild than it is to ask someone on a date, borrow sugar from your neighbor or ask to join a group of friends. It’s easier to make friends in an online game because rejection is less risky or heart wrenching.
Everyone needs to be wanted. We all seek it. We all want acceptance from certain communities. I was foolish enough to discount the communities in video game culture. I guarantee you I will never make that mistake again. In fact, I hope to study it more and see how it can be harnessed and improved as I seek my M.B.A. and entrepreneurial goals.
One thing is for sure: with the friendship and community I now feel in my LOTRO guild, I don’t think I’ll be leaving those guys anytime soon.
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So what is it that makes these online gaming friendships strong? Is it that we’re questing together, using our heads and skills to take down hard bosses and dungeons? Is it the sharing of items and materials, or the comradery you get from being in a group or “guild” of friends? Is it that, no matter what our other beliefs or views on life, we all have, at least, a common interest in video games?
That's an interesting question. I would say that it's because of the comradery that a person would stay with a group or guild and it's because of the questing and sharing you do together that builds that comradery. A common interest in videogames (and more so the one in particular that you are playing with said group) gives you all a common bond when you first start out, which of course helps the ball get rolling.
Or maybe it’s easier to break the ice and approach someone in a video game that you may never see in person than it is to walk up and talk to someone you don’t know. Think about how much easier it is to ask someone to help you on a quest, make you an item, or ask to join a guild than it is to ask someone on a date, borrow sugar from your neighbor or ask to join a group of friends. It’s easier to make friends in an online game because rejection is less risky or heart wrenching.
Absolutely agree in the general sense, I've found I've run into special cases more often then not though. You know, those ones that are afraid to even group because they take the rejection really hard or those that are aggressively anti-social even in online games. In general though, it's just like you say, people find its much easier to socialize and interact in a game (or online gaming blog :D) then doing the same degree of interactions in real life.
Let's be honest, a good majority of the people playing games are nerds, geeks and whatnot and I'm not that old, but I never remember nerds and geeks being the top rung of the social ladder. While your mileage will vary from person to person, interactions in person are going to be very different from online where no body knows what you look,sound or smell like.
The last MMO I played was UO and that was forever ago. I bought the game but then couldn't afford the subscription after a few months. As far as meeting guys in online gaming and feeling more of a friendship towards them? I would say this is true. Of people I have played with and talked to online with the 360 and PS3 I'd have to say I feel as though I "know" them better than if I just talked to them online, or left a few comments here and there on their blogs.
And, it is way easier to A) meet people with common interests as you when your gaming and B) meet a lot of assholes who think their purpose in life is so piss off people online. If A, then it's easy to meet people to play with and have a good time with. You might even become somewhat emotionally attached (friendship) to them over time as some in your guild were.
An interesting sociology experiment though. I wonder if there is any research being done on this sort of interaction and how it affects normal person to person interaction. It seems like anymore people would rather talk over the phone or IM or in games, but not in person. Step forward as far as meeting more people of different types, but step backward over all for already anti-social peoples.
And when bhive says "know" he means in the king james sense.
bhive broke into my house last week and raped my blender. It took 3 days before I figured out why my smoothies tasted so strange. It turns out, the blender had been crying. That's when I saw the bruises.
I've been talking to people that I met in WoW outside of wow or ages, so I totally feel what you're saying about community. It is a great thing when people try for it.
My boys from the golden days of WoW honor farming are a good core group, and we are just now starting to move from game to game.
For me, it's the familiarity of it, I know what kind of things they will do, and they know me.
In my book, you laugh at my jokes, I laugh at yours = we're buds. If it's over vent and in some game, then so be it.
Personally one of my favorite parts of an MMO is the friendships. I like just hanging out and chatting with people, it's amazingly fun. I used to think it was lame but I take certain online friendships somewhat seriously now. I actually MISS some of the people I knew only in WoW because they were fun to play with and had a great sense of humor. This was a great (and long) article, and one of the few that I read all the way through. It's really touching in a strange way, but they are friends...even if it's in a different capacity. I purchased LotRO but I couldn't get into it, plus there weren't very many people playing. I really want to get back into an MMO but I want to play with my girlfriend but we need a second computer...