Disclaimer:
"Vogon poetry is widely accepted as the third worst in the Universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their Poet Master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience died of internal hemorrhaging, but the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. The absolute worst poetry was written by Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Sussex. Luckily it was destroyed when the earth was."
-- Hitchhickers Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams

Hopefully mine won't be quite that bad, but you have been warned. If you suddenly burst into flames and start bleeding out of your ears, don't come crying to me. If your kids cry harder and pee all over you, please take photo's and share as I love to see other parents in misery.

On with the article.

Being a gaming dad with babies/toddlers means spending some late nights bouncing your kids. This means time away from gaming (or sleeping). So anything to move the process along I am all for. My kids love(d) lullabies. A soft smooth voice is able to sooth them off into a quick and beautiful slumber. Okay, it doesn't always work that nicely, but as far as I am concerned... it doesn't hurt.

I really hate the traditional lullabies, as they completely don't fit my personality. So I decided to start making some lyrics of my own. It feels really really cool to come up with some really geeky lyrics that I can burn into the subconscious of my kids. Right now my kids love it too, most likely because I get such a big kick out of it, but I like to live in my little bubble of ignorant bliss. Some day they will get old enough and burst that bubble, but right now, I am the shit to them, so I will enjoy it while I can.

Now I completely suck at rhyming and thinking up words (well, really anything language related). These took me several nights to come up with. Oh, and I am not very musically creative either, so sing them to the rhythm of "Hush Little Baby"


Link Lullaby
Hush little Link don't you cry
It's not time to say goodbye

Zelda is waiting in Hyrule
For you to return her rule

A great evil force has come
You must restore our kingdom

For your bravery must shine
If you are to rid the swine

If you win her release
Then we can live in peace


An Ode to Nintendo
Hush little Super Mario
Papa's going to buy you a Nintendo

And if that screen should go grey
Papa's going to blow it so we can play

And if that console becomes lame
Papa's going to buy a new game

And if that next gen system sucks
We'll go back to hunting ducks

I am sure that some of you out there have come up with your own (don't tell me its just me), or could come up with things better and quicker than me. So if you have any that you would like to share please do so, as I would love to use them on my 8 month old right now.