In what is the coolest jobs I've ever had, I write about toys for a living. All day, nothing but toys. It's amazing. When I'm not writing at work I'm writing at home, either working on my screenplay or my children's novel. When I'm not doing any of that I try to get in some video game time. I'm currently rocking Nintendo only consoles because dammit, I love Nintendo. More than Nintendo, I love platform games. Even though my favorite game isn't a platformer (The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker), it is my favorite genre of games.
Follow me on twitter at www.twitter.com/thekillerbees and add me to your 3DS Friends List (1633-4277-3240 and let me know so I can add you to mine.) I'd love to meet some people who want play some Kid Icarus, Resident Evil: Revelations and Mario Kart 7.
So, Iím sitting here in the hospital right now recovering from my second nose job. My mom and I talked it out and decided the bridge thingy was too wide. So we made an appointment with Dr. Han and my nose can be totally better for prom.
I got my first nose job a few years ago. My left nostril was like a tenth of a centimeter wider than my right one. I was hideous. So we totally took care of that. Anyway, while I was recovering as this spa in Arizona, my little brother gave me his Nintendo and this game called Style Savvy. I am totally a big gamer, like I play Tiny Wings at least once a week and this one time I gave my boyfriend head while he played Call of Duty online. So Iím like a geek and stuff. Anyway, Style Savvy is this fashion game where you sell weird fashion to these strange looking girls. And I totally had fun with it. I mean, yeah it was a stupid little video game, but I spent probably ten hours playing it.
Now that Iím back recovering from my breast implants nose job, my little brother has given me his 3D Nintendo and Style Savvy Trendsetters. The game is charging right now, so I thought Iíd take some time to tell all you sad virgins here on destruction.com why this game is totally awesome and you should buy it.
First of all, the fashion is fantastic. In the last game, everything looked like it was out of a bad Gwen Stefani music video or an episode of The Munsters. I wouldnít wear any of those clothes. Even Beyonceís Dereon collection looked stupid. But the clothes in this new game are really fashionable. My favorite brand is ZHADE. Itís so high class and expensive it reminds me of the clothes I buy in those West Hollywood boutiques where the Kardashians shop. Oh my god, I saw Kim Kardashian once on Santa Monica Blvd. She is so ugly in person. Iím way prettier than she is and will be even more so when I get these bandages off.
I really wish that I could just make a store that is nothing but ZHADE, but the game practically forces you to carry all the brands, even the stupid Soy Milk one. All those girls look like fucking hobos. I donít want them in my store. Also the gothic girls, they suck. I honestly donít know if the guys who made this game have actually been into a boutique, but when I go into an Ed Hardy store, I go there for awesome fashion, not tacky crap. Right?
Anyway, there are many improvements over the first Style Savvy. First of all, that game used a lot of math and it was really, really hard. I mean, why should I have to spend money to expand my stockroom? And whatís this Ďbudgetí thing? Am I spelling that right, Ďbudget?í Whereís the option to just use daddyís credit card? Thatís what I do. Heís a lawyer. Once, he represented Cher in a case against a botox company. Won millions. Thatís when we moved out of our one bedroom apartment in Koreatown to a loft on the Sunset Strip. Anyway, budgeting is hard. Thatís what I like about this game so much. Whereas the first one used stupid math to have you do everything, this one uses science. Like, with every customer you sell clothes to, a jar of good feelings fills up a little. When you fill the jar completely you create a full moon, just like in real life. On the days after full moons good things happen; like your stockroom scientifically expands to hold new fashions. Iíve gotten six full moons in a row. Now before you say thatís fake, I would just like to reply uh-uh. Alaska has a full moon every night and daytime there lasts for only 20 seconds.
I should probably point out that this game has mens fashions in it and all the guys are like totally hot. Theyíre all skinny and models. Itís not like real life where every time I walk down the boulevard I see a bunch of fat, fat, fatties waddling to Melís Diner. No, everyone in here, boys and girls, is super skinny, perfect model sizes. They all probably have eating disorders like me. I really donít care how they stay skinny, I just like the fact I donít sell sizes larger than a two. Which is really good because Iíd hate to have to carry plus size clothing. As if.
One improvement about the girls in the game is that theyíre more real than the in last one. In the first game, all the girls were like shy little bitches who have no self confidence. Now, theyíre like real girls: they all have highly successful jobs and care about nothing but fashion and impressing boys. Maybe these are all the same girls from the first game, but now theyíve all had plastic surgery so theyíre more confident. Thereís one other thing about the girls in the game that I need to say, but in order to do so, I need to use the n-word. But itís okay, not because Iím black or anything, as if, but because my maid from Barbados once said that I could totally say it. So anyway... shit I forgot my point. I think it was something about basketball players. Oh well.
Thereís more to the game than just selling clothes. You also meet people at the park and in the city and participate in style contests. Those contests are really fun and I am so much better than all the other designers in the game. They make shit and I make magic, a factís a fact. Beyond the store in the game, you can also make a store online that other gamers can shop at. I made a store, but I donít think that anyone actually shopped there, mostly because I forgot how to use it. But Iím sure everyone loves my store, so yeah.
Right now Iíd like to address my biggest complaint with the game, and it was my biggest complaint about the last game as well. When was the last time you saw a girl give a thumbs-up? Seriously? Girls donít give thumbs-up, except for lesbians and Olympic gold medalists. Itís just not something they do. If girls like something, theyíll text you a smiley face or call you a bitch; but you know, the good kind of bitch. The friendly bitch, like, ďOh youíre such a bitch I love you,Ē or ďwhatís up skank?Ē Thatís what girls do, not this thumbs-up bullshit. At least the models actually walk like models in this game.
My masseuse is here for my face massage, so I need to wrap this up. You should totally buy Style Savvy Trendsetters because itís, like, the best and itís the only game hardcore gamers like myself need for when theyíre bored or waiting for their boyfriend to call them back or recovering from major reconstructive surgery. So it gets like an 8 out of 10. It would have been a 10 out of 10, but I give thumbs-up a thumbs-down.