What has happened to Mario's brother in the past years? I'll tell you what happened! He's become Nintendo's bitch, whipping boy, whatever you feel like calling him. Remember the good old days where he was slightly lesser known than his brother Mario, but just as respectable? In fact, he was as courageous and able as Mario, all that was different were his clothes. But ever since Luigi's Mansion on the Gamecube, he has become Nintendo's running joke and a laughing stock in the world of video games.



Luigi's origins were small in comparison to his brother, but they were there. His first most notable appearance was in Mario Bros. where he could kick koopas, crabs, and flies just as well as Mario could and could go toe to toe with his brother in battle. Following that came Super Mario Bros. and again Luigi could do just as well as Mario, along with suffering Mario's same defeats in realizing that the princess was in a different castle. But alas, if he tried hard enough, Luigi could get ZERO ass from the princess just as well as Mario could. It was later in Super Mario Bros. 2 where Luigi had a brief stint of individuality where he boast moves that Mario didn't. Hell the fact that Mario is a midget in comparison came in to play, and Luigi was given the odd ability to jump farther thanks to him move his legs as if he was a small rodent being grabbed on to by the back of his neck. But fast forward a couple of years to the launch of the Nintendo Gamecube. Where's Mario? NO WHERE!? Oh wait, he's trapped so we get a Luigi game, that isn't bad right?

WRONG.



Oh no! Mario is being held captive!? Is it time to Luigi to burst in kicking ass and taking names like Mario would? Nope, time for him to cower in the dark like a little bitch. Luigi's cowering persona was obviously used for a comic nature in the game, but Nintendo seemed to think that it was a good idea to keep Luigi as their bitch character, and he's never shaken off the wussy, cowering, awkward rep, thus taking punch after punch in following games to feature him. One of the best examples of this I can remember is in I think the Nintendo DS Mario & Luigi where Mario and Luigi are stopped by an higher power and must have their heart judged before they can continue. While Mario's heart is judged pure by this upper being, he finds some disturbing things in Luigi's heart. From what I remember he pauses multiple times with a bunch of "Oh my..." and I believe he said something along the lines of "Whats this with the animals? OH MY!" And you know what I as a mature member of society interpret that as? I come to believe that the developers AlphaDream are saying that Luigi fucks animals, it's the only logical thing I can come up with. And everyone thought Nintendo was kiddy and for young audiences, how's a bit of bestiality for you?



How is Luigi being treated in his most recent outings? Just as he was, like a bitch. In Super Mario Galaxy, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, and Mario Kart Wii nothing has changed in Luigi's sad little world. In Galaxy all he does is get stuck up a tree waiting for Mario to come and save him. Oh sure, he found a star but he only finds like five for you, and gets stuck every single time crying for help. What does he do in Super Smash Bros Brawl? Aside from getting the shit scared out of him by Dedede's underlings HE DANCES.



Now when you live in a suite with five other guys in college, it's hard to defend Luigi's final smash of awkward dancing in comparison to everyone's more badass final smashes. I mean, how do you explain that? It's just so weird and out of absolutely no where. Yeah Mario shoots a giant fireball, I can see that, but Luigi doing a weird little dance... that's a bit out there.

How does he fair in Mario Kart Wii?



He gets owned by Peach, the chick who wakes up every day only to be captured. Enough said.



When slightly homoerotic fan art depicts him looking as if he just came out of an episode of Ikkitousen, wearing a thong, and looking like he's wrapped in tentacles straight out of a hentai, things aren't looking good for Luigi. The next game to feature him is Mario Baseball on the Wii and I'm willing to bet he'll be a little bitch in that too. Tis a sad day for Luigi, a sad day indeed.