I have stopped decorating for a break. I am painting the study (formerly known as bunnyrabbit's bedroom) and was happy listening to my old vinyl. Two coats of red paint later, I can still see the blue and yellow underneath. Grrrr. Then I heard someone else outsdie call his mate a pikey. I laughed. I got thrown out of an essambly because of that very thing. Let me explain.

At the school where I work, the head of year for my year group was from Bolton. Proper accent and everything. I live daan saaf. Which means all the kids speak like London gangsta's. There was this craze of putting post it notes on other people's backs and it had got, quite frankly, a little tedious. In the assembly, there was the head of year with several of the said post it's stuck to the lectern. Well, I knew what was probably coming. A lecture. Worse. He read them out after teling the kids what a waste of everyone's time it was. The first one was, predictably, 'you are gay'. I chuckled a little. Then, in his strong Bolton accent he said 'You are a pikey'. He kept a straight face, I was trying to hold it together. The last, and sadly, my undoing, read 'You are a pikey and you live in a caravan by the sea.' I couldn't hold it. I laughed, got a look and figured I should leave to get control of myself. Outside the hall I went, guffawing and crying, whilst he carried o regardless.

I think that staff only work in schools for the crack. It's moments like that, happening every day, that make it worth all the gangsta tripping. Forget GCSE's, we are there to muck about. We once held another staff member's resources box to ransom. It was full of shiny new pencils and all manner of other lovely stuff. She was showing off, so we kidnapped it. We sent her bits of broken pencil in envelopes with notes. 'Be nice to the kids or the ruler gets it'. Pathetic, I know, but the fun we had making other people, including kids, walk past her room with identical boxes. She would rush out and ask where they got it.

Incidentally, my mum is a pikey and she does live in a caravan. And it is by the sea. Rough justice or simple irony?

Nuff said.