My expertise: Being a Smash Bros. Jedi

5:40 PM on 02.18.2010   |   copilotlindy

107 comments

_{[Editor's Note: We're not just a (rad) news site -- we also publish opinions/editorials from our community & employees like this one, though be aware that it may not jive with the opinions of Destructoid as a whole, or how our moms raised us. Want to post your own article in response? Publish it now on our community blogs.]}

You've made the right choice my young Padawan. The path to becoming a Smash Bros. Jedi is difficult. Treacherous also, as you will come to learn. Your enemies will not adhere to our rules; they will use all means necessary to defeat you. But you must not waver.

We have few rules, but each is significant. They can often be cumbersome to uphold, but they empower us, and elevate our techniques above the uncivilized methods employed by our adversaries. 

Do not use items



The Hammer. The Bob-omb. These are powerful weapons, certainly, but they are the tools of the weak. The only tools you require to succeed in combat are those you already possess. Consuming a heart is akin to a do-over. It is trying. You must do. There is no try.

Do not snipe, or play defense

A Smash Bros. Jedi understands that the true beauty of battle is born out of hand-to-hand combat. Hiding on the edge of the fray, sniping with blaster or Pika-bolt, or fleeing when pursued in order to facilitate more sniping; these are the methods of cowards. This is not to imply that a Jedi should disregard all use of ranged weaponry. Quite the contrary, a Jedi trained in the arts of Link can devastate a battlefield through bow, boomerang, and bomb. It is only when these techniques are solely used to distance oneself from the battle that the action becomes dishonorable. You must relish the fight, not cower from it. To snipe and flee is to fear. And fear leads to the dark side.

Do not 'edge-guard'

A rule that many struggle to understand, and one that can be difficult when in the heat of combat. If you've sent your enemy flying to one side of the screen and he is attempting to make his way back to the platform mid-air, you must allow him to catch the ledge unimpeded. Take care, as your enemies will not offer you the same courtesy. They will hang from the ledge themselves in order to prevent you from grabbing it, or they will jump out to meet you midair and kick you downwards into the abyss. Effective methods, no doubt, but the work of the dark side, and fear of the true engagement of combat. Avoid the temptation to edge-guard, and you will retain your honor.

Do not rely on environmental variables



You must respect your opponent. He or she provides you a great gift: sharpened awareness, heightened reflexes, and most crucial of all: combat experience. Thus, take no joy in your enemies demise when an Arwing arbitrarily blasts them from the stage, or a speeding F-Zero racer sends them flying. These capricious environmental deaths may seem like a blessing when you feel overmatched, but they do you a great disservice. By sparing you, they serve only to dull your prowess as a combatant. And remember that it may be the next round when you are randomly chosen as their victim.

Therefore, a true Jedi always chooses levels with little to no interference. Distill the encounter to its purest form whenever possible. Trust in your skill alone and you will emerge victorious. Choose Final Destination whenever possible.

That's all for today my young padawan. Remember these lessons well. May the force be with you.