Destructoid University - Destructoid

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1:18 PM on 07.31.2007

I know quite a few of us community bloggers are hoping to break into the gaming journalism scene. Now, I'm not going to school for journalism, and I've never taken any journalism classes, but I cann imagine that in a "proper" journalism school they teach you to write like a bitch and steer clear of any and all humor in your writing. Definitely not the way Destructoid works. That's when I started thinking. "What if Destructoid had their own journalism school? It could be called the Destructoid College of Gaming Journalism." I then came up with a sample of what the curriculum would look like at DCGJ. Enjoy

TOID 105-How To Write A Blog
Taught by Professor Dale North
In TOID 105, you will learn the basics of writing and posting a blog, including: simple Photoshopping(writing witty comments on pictures of Winston Churchill), BBCode, and how to cite your sources. All students must blog in the Community Blog section of Destructoid.

TOID 177-The Importance Of Community
Taught by Dr. Niero Gonzalez
TOID 177 will teach you what a gaming site is without community. Nothing. Niero will explain how a well-led community works and behaves, and how to accomodate your site to exponential growth.

TOID 211-Graphic Design
Taught by Professor Topher "Hushgush" Cantler
Hushgush will show you how to make a website look pretty, how to make sweet t-shirt designs, and advanced Photoshopping(replacing faces with Mr. Robot's face).

TOID 255-Listening To Music No One Has Ever Heard Of
Taught by Professor Nex
Nex will introduce you to bands that you've never heard of, and probably for good reason. But, no matter how the bands sound, they will undoubtably be cool as hell, and therefore, you will be cool for listening to them. Anyone can be a game journalist, but it really means something to be a HIP game journalist.

TOID 331-Special Topic: How To Be A Community Golden Boy
Taught by Guest Lecturer Electro Lemon
In TOID 331, Electro Lemon will show you the ins and outs of being vital to a gaming site without actually being a payed employee, and how to be loved by everyone.

TOID 358-Special Topic: How To Send In Tips
Taught by Guest Lecturer Joe Burling.
Joe Burling will attempt to show you how to email tips before anyone else finds out about it, but face it. Even if you pass this class, you won't be as good as sending in tips as BuckFitches.

TOID 446-Drinking
Taught by Dr. Ron Workman
I hope you're thirsty, because in TOID 446 you are going to be drinking. A shitload. Because if you somehow do manage to make it into the gaming journalism industry, whenever you go to conferences and exhibitions, you're going to have to kick back a few. Ron Workman will show you how to drink with the best of them, like how to drink a 12 oz beer in less than 10 seconds and how to take a shot without making a face.

TOID 482-Sticking It To The Man
Taught by Professour Jim Sterling
When the ESRB or BBFC tries to take away your video games, are you going to just let them? Not if your career is in video games you're not. Jim will show you how to write angry letters while still sounding professional, plus how to organize gamers into mobs to go up against the evil corporations.

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