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ceark avatar 12:29 PM on 06.30.2010  (server time)
The Great Escape: Filling the Empty Box.

Today, I listened to an incredible Song of Storms cover on guitar. It sent chills down my spine; it gave me goosebumps. Yesterday, I beat Mario Galaxy 2 with the assist of my girlfriend taking on the role of "P2." It made me crack a smile from ear to ear. A week ago I leveled my corsair to 76. I was absolutely cackling with joy as I ran around faster with the new Bolter's Roll. A month a go I was fraught with rage when I went to avenge Mr. Marston. A year ago I was crapping my pants as I walked down the halls of the USG Ishimura. A decade ago, I cried when Aeris died. These emotions aren't really mine, yet at the same time they are. I took these feelings from the adventurers beyond the screen and placed them in my heart; toys to fill an empty toybox.

Alot of other dtoiders having written great articles thus far about the escapism video games have provided them. Be it from bullies or illness, video games have been a crucial coping mechanism for the struggles of everyday life. But for me, it was the opposite; I was escaping from a life without struggle- a life that was extremely ordinary.

Don't get me wrong, I'm highly appreciative of the upbringing that I had. Our family was never rich, but we were most certainly not wanting of anything. I grew up in a family that never really had debt, never really worried about putting food on the table. My schooling was adequate. I wasn't popular per say, but I was well liked by everyone. I've never had really trouble with the ladies. The few kids that bothered to "bully" me got there ass handed to them and needless to say, they didn't bother to continue. I've never struggled with serious illness. No one very close to me has passed away. I went to a good college, graduated and immediately got a good job. The list of how my life is very peaches and roses can go on and on and on. It can only be described as an overly peaceful life.

I'm certainly not complaining. But I'll make one observation. When you don't struggle for things, they really do have less meaning. A life with struggle can be terribly...empty. Some of the most intense emotions I've ever had were from playing games. My admittance to this fact may very well be the saddest statement I'll ever make. But honestly, I'm not to bothered. Video games have given me an opportunity to experience joy, rage, fear, sadness, anticipation, laughter, and made an otherwise mundane life anything but. At the very least, they have given me an appreciation for all the good things in life I as I play out the tails of heroes and heroines who STRUGGLE to live ordinarily. I think this may seem like a fancy way of saying "video games kept me from getting bored," but the sentiment really does run deeper then that. I'm sure one day on my gravestone it will read "ceark. the life he lived was ordinary, but the life experienced was extraordinary."

Hey Dtoiders, it's been a long time since I've regularly posted. You older non LA Dtoiders (I NARP in LA afterall) are probably thinking where the f*** have you been, of course all the new folks are probably wondering who the f*** are you? Anyway, I have a little more free time for the foreseeable future (on a slow project ATM, so next couple of months I got some breathin' room) so I thought I'd get back into the dtoid fray. Thought I'd start with my first ever monthly musing. Maybe I'll finish that painting that I STILL owe conrad (for 2 years now....). Maybe I'll give in and finally paint Yojimbo. Who knows.

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