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cannedpasta avatar 12:25 PM on 09.10.2008
Bratz Forever Diamonds: Diamond Encrusted Crap
This was originally posted by me on March 18th, 2008 for a short-lived and soon-returning series of posts entitled DS on DS, for the site I write for, www.DigitalSomething.com. I will be posting the rest of the articles throughout the week leading up to the return of DS on DS on Friday.

This game is trash. Plain and simple. If I were your daughter and you bought this game for me as a gift, I would assume that you hated me, and I would run away from home. Then I would probably meet A Pimp Named Slickback and get sucked into a world of drugs and selling my body. That's how bad this game is.

Let's start with the story. The Bratz are trying to get to a fashion show to win a pair of diamond covered go-go boots. Or something like that. I wasn't paying too much attention. After the asinine intro, you then choose a pet to adopt. You can either choose a dog, cat, or bunny. There is also a fourth mystery pet who is unlocked at the start. Best I can figure, it has to be some sort of demon because this game was obviously forged deep in the bowels of Hell.

After you pick your pet (I chose the bunny), you are inside the tour bus. Although, it isn't really a bus, it's actually the trailer of a freakin semi. Yes, the stars of this game are living out of a semi truck. I guess if they don't make it to the fashion show in time, they can always become a roving band of Lot Lizards (if you don't get it, ask someone who's a truck driver). Inside the trailer, you control one of the girls. You can walk around inside the trailer doing little activities, like applying makeup with the stylus, or caring for your virtual pet (which has less features than the original Tamagotchi). In the makeup "game", I painted the girl's entire face purple, which took forever to do considering the size of their heads and the fact that the drawing tool has a width of one pixel. Then I exited the "game" and she was back to normal. None of it stays there, thus rendering the 15 minutes it took to completely cover her face a gigantic waste of time, much like the rest of this game. So, I decided to turn it off and go back to playing Nanostray 2.

The bottom line: Don't buy this for anyone. Unless you really do hate them. This game will get the message out loud and clear.

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