Welcome....to the future....



~sLuGGy~
Windows XP SP2
Dell Amilo1405
240MB SDRAM
Mobile Intel Pentium M 710, 1400 MHz
Intel(R) 82852/82855 GM/GME Graphics Controller (64 MB)
QWERTY keyboard
300GB External HDD
12bB cooling fan

Vital stats:
0-ready: 4.5 minutes
time to open MS word: 5.5 minutes
average number of firefox crashes / day: 6
Battery life from full charge: 45 minutes!

Enter ~sLuGGy~, a pseudo-dynamic man eater of a machine. ~sLuGGy~ is over 4 years old but despite this still has on edge on most modern day gaming machines. ~sLuGGy~ can run solitare at a scorching 200fps, and minesweeper at a very reasonable 145fps. A shining star in the computer industry, ~sLuGGy~ recently entered the cybernetic olypmics and obtained gold AND silver in every category, even managing to get all three top places in the 100TB processing race. We were lucky enough to secure a 5 minute interview with ~sLuGGy~ at the premiere of his recent film 'Wargames 2010' which he both wrote and starred in.


D-TV: ~sLuGGy~, we've seen your vital stats for running games such as solitare and minesweeper and we were wondering just how do you manage to run these games to effectively?

~sLuGGy~: its about determination and perseverence - i'd never be where i am now if i hadnt put the work in. most computers half my age are lifting, what? 200 GB? and there's me pumping out 4TB without breaking a sweat. I dont mean to blow sunshine into my own cooling unit, but i believe i'm just simply a different breed of computer; superior circuitry - thats my motto, and its patented too.

D-TV: The new movie 'Wargames 2010' is a brilliant peice of cinematography, tell us where you came up with the screen play.

~sLuGGy~: Well when i was just a processing unit i saw the original wargames film and thought to myself 'you know what? that simply isnt realistic, the computer would win' so i decided from that point to paint the scenario in a more realistic light and thats why i decided to make the film

D-TV: Nice, and we're really impressed with the casting for the movie too, with names like Brad Pit and Angelina Jolie, were these the people you had in mind for the roles?

~sLuGGy~: well actually no they weren't, but at the oscars we got chatting and it just started there really.

D-TV: There has been a lot of media coverage recently about the social and economic deprivation of computers all over the world, and you've been quite a strong voice in the debate. Tell us more about it.

~sLuGGy~: Yes, well actually im glad you asked about that, computers just arent being paid enough for the jobs they are doing all over the world, there is a huge stigma attached to working as a computer these days and that needs to change. Did you know that computers work on average 28.2 hour days? i mean thas a lot for less than minimum wage. There is also a lot of computer abuse going on also, which is why we started computer-line which is an anonymous number computers can call if they need to talk to someone that can help. Computer abuse is a very real thing and we need to combat it.

D-TV: yes we agree, especially when those pictures of the government hidden computer slaughter surfaced - those computer graveyards spanning miles

~sLuGGy~: a holocaust more like, when i saw those pictures i puked raw current out of my keyboard, it was a very very sad day and i hope those responsible get found and hung for their crimes.

D-TV: I'm sure they will. Now, you've heard about these guerilla computers from the 'kill teh humanz' movement - responsible for causing 'CPS' or Couch Potato Sundrome and then of course heart disease and death. What would your message be to those from the movement?

~sLuGGy~: Its not big, its not clever, its genious.

D-TV: What?

~sLuGGy~: sorry, only joking

D-TV: yes...er....ok well one more before we have to go, your performance at the cybernetic olympics was quite awe inspiring - how did you manage it?

~sLuGGy~: superior circuitry my man, superior circuitry and a hell of a lot of overclocking.

D-TV: thank you very much for you time ~sLuGGy~, and we wish you all the best.

~sLuGGy~:thank you.


~sLuGGy~ enjoying some TV in his New York penthouse

~sLuGGy~ having a few cocktails before hitting the town

~sLuGGy~ eating weetabix